25
Jan 11

Go Steelers?

The Green Bay Packers are going to the Super Bowl!!!

This is an exciting time for everyone in Wisconsin with even a passing interest in football and the next two weeks are going to be all football, all the time. The team that has dominated the Wisconsin sports landscape for the past 100 years will now attempt to take full control of our minds and souls with a win in the Super Bowl. A trip to the Super Bowl is huge, but what does it mean to us? What does it mean to you? What does it mean to the Brewers? Continue reading →


20
Jan 11

Miller Park Drunk answers your questions

Sometimes we get emails and we don't reply to them. We don't do this because we mean to, but because we forget or because we're lazy or because we just read the email on our iPhone while sitting at the bar and don't have the wherewithal to type out a reply. It's nothing personal. Sometimes we get comments that drive us crazy that we want to reply to, but just don't because like I said we're kind of lazy. It happens. Sometimes we get twitter and facebook messages (because we ask for them) from people who want to know things. When these things happen, we answer your questions. Maybe we don't do it right away and the responses aren't exactly what anyone would call timely, but we do reply. We always reply. We love you guys.

MPD,

I'm interested on who you would pick as manager. Bobby Valentine? How about Tom Trebelhorn. He took a major screwing from Sal (Remember Antoine Williamson?) Bando back in '91 (probably before your time). Bando was the GM who let Molitor go, by the way.

JMB

Ron Roenicke! Nailed it!

Two part question. what's your favorite kind of drunk? Which is your favorite racing sausage?

- CiltantroNate Continue reading →


19
Jan 11

Prince Fielder is the highest paid Milwaukee Brewer of all time

Milwaukee, WI -- Prince Fielder settled his arbitration case with the Milwaukee Brewers and will now make $15.5 million dollars to play in 2011 making him the highest paid Milwaukee Brewer of all time. He gets a $5m raise over last season and has now made over $36.7 million in his Brewers playing career. He surpasses teammate Zack Greinke and former Brewer Jeff Suppan to become the highest paid player in team history.

"I still made $42 million from that team in my career so I don't really care." Said Jeff Suppan when asked about losing the team record. "Prince still can't touch me there."

Added Suppan "Can I get a plug in? Print this article out for 15% off your next meal at Soup's. Don't miss $5 Fridays and our Fast Pitch lunch specials. Go Cardinals."

Fielder doesn't know what he plans to do with the money, but according to his wife he is going to save every penny. "Prince has another thing coming if he thinks he's going to spend all that money on a fancy new car or something for himself. That money is going straight to me and the kids. College fund, school clothes, braces, books, toys, Justin Bieber performing at their birthday party; only the best for our kids and don't forget about me. Don't even think about forgetting about me Prince" said Chanel, who does all the hard work around here anyway. "Prince can keep driving the mini van. There's nothing wrong with it."

When reached for comment Fielder's agent Scott Boras just threw money in the air and laughed maniacally. Our attempts to follow up failed when his secretary said that he was "super crunk" from drinking a virgin's blood and that it'd be best to leave.

According to long time teammate Corey Hart it would be a good idea for Prince, who has been a vegetarian since 2008, to go get a cheeseburger from McDonalds.

"He's always going on about how when he was a kid he did a McDonalds commercial with his dad and Cecil didn't buy him a cheeseburger. 'A double cheeseburger was only $1.19!' he says it every time we pass a McDonalds. It's like you're a millionaire just buy yourself a cheeseburger, man."

Fielder has also expressed some worry about his new found fortune. "I just keep hearing about how more money means more problems and that doesn't sound very cool. And then I heard this song that was like 'money must be funny in a rich man's world' which I have no idea what that meant, but it doesn't sound good. Really catchy though."

At press time, Fielder decided it was best not to spend any money and stick with the 2008 Honda Odyssey he'd been driving for the past three years. "It's just been so good to us, you know?"


18
Jan 11

This Week in Witardo: Goodbye

I have a lot of friends who have graduated college and are now on the job market. It's not easy finding a job in today's world, but they are looking and they are doing whatever it takes to get the job. Many of them go so far as to delete their facebook or simply change their names on facebook so as not to be found by potential employers searching the internet. That is part of the job process now. You want to get hired? Prepare to be Googled. Any bad thing you wrote on myspace four years ago, any bad picture you've posted, any racist comment you left on a message board or any sex video you've accidentally sent someone will be found by these people and they won't hire you. If you want a job you need to keep your Google search clean. Don't do anything stupid. Don't piss anyone off. Don't show anything.

(And that's why I only make seven dollars an hour shoveling snow at the graveyard.)

Anthony Witrado is leaving the Journal Sentinel. The worst writer many of us have ever seen (and possibly the worst beat writer at any daily newspaper in the country) has been hired by The Sporting News. For those of you who don't follow these things AOL Fanhouse has folded into The Sporting News who will now be providing all their online content. Which means that bloggers like Bethlehem Shoals of FreeDarko fame will soon be out of work and hacks like Witrado will take his place. I see that working out really well. We've wanted Witrado fired for a long time, but for him to leave for what we're presuming is a better job leaves a bad taste in our mouth. It's like if Jeff Suppan left and won the Cy Young for the Cardinals then took them to the World Series where he was named MVP. It's just not right. These people deserve to fail. They wasted our time with their crappy performances and they need to get what is coming to them. I didn't just want Anthony Witrado to not write for my daily anymore, I don't want him to write anything.

The story on the street is that Garry Howard, former JS Editor, is now the editor at The Sporting News and he is responsible for the Witrado hire. As Al from Al's Ramblings said to me about the hire "it's not what you know, but who you know" and I don't think that has eever fit a situation better. Far be it from me to understand how someone could read that guy's work for however many years (or even see the way he dresses at work) and think he'd do a good job, but that's what happened. I can understand that some people have terrible taste in sports writing, but what I don't understand is how someone could hire Anthony Witrado without Googling him. I mean, seriously, Jeffrey Dahmer has better search results and he murdered 17 people. Continue reading →


13
Jan 11

The inevitable Yuniesky Betancourt post

When the Brewers first made the Zack Greinke trade I posted on twitter "I'm so happy that its going to be like two weeks before I notice the Brewers got the worst player in the MLB to play SS" and I've been so happy about all things Brewers for all this time and am still happy about all things Brewers that I've hardly noticed.

Lately thoughts of Yuni have been steadily creeping in and doubts about his defense, his offense, his weight, his everything have been entering my mind more and more until today when Jonah Keri posted a story titled "Brewers Defense: A Roadblack to the World Series?" Like the pregnancy test that ruined my your life, I couldn't ignore Yuniesky Betancourt any longer. It's time to deal with him.

So, what do we know about Yuniesky Betancourt?

He plays shortstop.

He's Cuban.

He was fined, BY THE ROYALS, for a bad play last season.

We can call him Yuni for short.

He's grown since his rookie year.

Mariners fans hate him. Dave Cameron at USS Mariner once said:

We’ve all watched first hand as Yuni has regressed from an athletic young player into a complete waste of space and time. His lack of hard work is nothing new – even after an offseason where he trained with Raul Ibanez, he showed up to camp as the same rotund non-athlete that he was at the end of last year. He’s getting worse at every facet of the game, and at this point, he’s not a major league player.

Royals fans aren't too fond of him either. Joe Posnanski once wrote a whole post trying to find a silver lining in Yuniesky Betancourt being the worst player in baseball.

Yuniesky's career OPS is .689.

Yuniesky has averaged a UZR (Ultimate Zone Rating, a defensive metric) of -12.5 over the past three seasons.

The Brewers will pay him FOUR MILLION dollars this season.

He basically screwed over his agent who helped him get into the country and his contract with the Mariners.

But we're not here to talk about that. We're here to talk about baseball. We're here to talk about Yuniesky Betancourt and whether or not he's going to ruin our season. Short answer: he's not. Long answer after the jump. Continue reading →