milwaukee brewers April 22nd, 2011
LAKE GENEVA, WI -- On top of finding out last month's advertising revenue was "less than twelve bucks" area blogger Vince Morales was disappointed to hear that Ryan Braun had recently signed an extension to keep himself with the Brewers until 2020.
"He hasn't left his room in the basement all day. I don't think I've seen him this upset since Charmed got canceled," said his mother as she cut the crusts off of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She added "Hopefully this cheers him up. It's his favorite."
While he insists that he's happy for the Brewers superstar and his favorite team for locking him up to the extension, it's hard not to notice his frustration with the matter. "I'm happy for them really, but it just sucks you know?" Morales told reporters. "I've been doing this blog for over two years now. Where's my extension? Where's my job offer? I mean, how many photoshops do I have to do before With Leather notices me? I could put Lobster Dog in a picture of Ryan Braun! I could do it right now!"
Despite his anger Vince, who conceded that he doesn't actually blog drunk, said he wasn't ready to call it quits just yet.
"Of course I'm not going to do it today, but nine years is a long time man." The unemployed blogger said."I don't know if people will still think making fun of Remetee is funny in 2020. I mean, we'll probably have hoverboards by then."
After finishing the sandwich his mom made him and a large glass of chocolate milk Morales was a bit more introspective on the matter.
"I guess I'm just upset because more people don't notice my blog. I spend like twenty, thirty minutes a week on the site and I only get like one friend request per week on facebook. It's like nobody cares, but I know the site is funny because my mom always laughs at it. It's just tough. People don't know how hard bloggers got it, but it's tough man. You can print that."
Despite his regrets Morales continues to blog and promises to keep updating his site at least three to four times per month for the rest of the year. When it comes down to it he says it's not like he has anything better to do.
"Hey, check out this photoshop I just finished." Morales added.
We love Bob Uecker. He is by far the best thing about being a Milwaukee Brewers fan. He keeps the game interesting and always has amazing stories to tell. So far this season I've heard him reference Vince McMahon calling him to catch up (what?!) and taking a picture with Chipper Jones before the game that Chipper didn't want to take because he was worried something bad would happen (as a joke), but then he ended up leaving that night's game with an injury. It's always something, it's always interesting and it's always funny. Bob Uecker is the man.
In fact, not only is Bob Uecker the man, but the camera loves him. We all know the classic image of Andre the Giant choking him (above), but there are many, many more. Like these ones.
This autographed article from a 1985 Sporting News recently sold for $100. Taken when he was in full-on Tonight Show/Miller Lite commercial/Mr. Belvedere/baseball mode.
I woke up this morning and I came to a shocking realization.
I realized that:
- There was 2-4 inches of snow on the ground
- Livan Hernandez shut down the Brewers offense
- The Brewers just got swept by the Nationals
What kind of Bizarro World did I just wake up in? What's with all this snow? Where is the global warming when I need it? And really, who loses both ends of a doubleheader? Besides the Brewers like 400 times already. Who's even managing this team, Ned Macha? Seriously, what is going on here?
That being said besides the snow I don't see any reason to panic. Maybe in retrospect I'd prefer Yovani didn't throw 111 pitches in his second start of the season because he hasn't been the same since, but that will work itself out. (Hopefully.) Let's do something that we never do around here and look at the past three days and maybe come to some understanding about how this sweep could happen. Read the rest of this entry »
Brewers fans and much of the Brewers blogosphere is going crazy over Nyjer Morgan right now. He's currently hitting .474 with two triples and playing his usual great defense so it's understandable that he has captured the imagination of many Brewers fans. He's a solid player with good speed and he always looks like he's playing hard. (I say "looks like" because pretty much everyone is playing hard, but some people just look like they are doing it harder than other people. Nyjer is one of those guys. Not a knock, just a fact.)
What people are going even more crazy about is Tony Plush. Who is Tony Plush? Tony Plush is Nyjer Morgan's "gentlemen alter ego" that occasionally talks in the third person. Which, I don't know about you, but I think sounds completely normal. Read the rest of this entry »
We've covered Ryan Braun's restaurants in the past (here, here, here and some more in here) and the general consensus has always been that they were decent/okay/whatever. His Third Ward location, despite hiring mostly models, has been troubled and actually closed down last year. It has recently re-opened under a new name, Ryan Braun's Graffito, and it seems that despite the different name the restaurant is still troubled. At least according to this disgruntled craigslist poster.
This poor guy has apparently never worked in a restaurant before. Don't you know all restaurant managers act like children with terrible mood swings? If you want to be appreciated become a teacher. (They get lots of appreciation, right?)
Joking aside, it's a shame to see Ryan Braun associated with a place that is seemingly so poorly run. Sure, he doesn't have much financial stake in it, but the average Joe doesn't know that and just thinks that Ryan is a terrible owner. It's a shame when you think about it. Then again, it's hard to feel sorry for a restaurant named after the singular form of Italian graffiti. I mean, really?