Browsing Category: "Baseball"

STEPBACK SATURDAY: When Vince and Tyler Went Gay (Not That There’s Anything Wrong With That)

milwaukee brewers October 11th, 2014

I have a question for the male readers of the site. Have you ever been pondering the offseason moves of the Brewers and thought to yourself "I am glad they re-signed Craig Counsell, he's kinda hot"? I mean, everyone has had that conversation with a friend that starts like "I know you're not gay, but..." and you immediately yell out "DONNIE FROM NEW KIDS!", right? And then after having that conversation you continue on to "Okay I know you are totally straight and stuff, but which Brewers player would you have sex with if you had to?" No? You've never had that conversation with one of your buddies? Not even once? Really? Well, I guess I'll just have to tell you about it then because Tyler and I have had that conversation many, many times and we'd like to share one with you. Why? Because we are so totally okay with our sexuality that we don't care who reads it! We don't care if the guys we are writing about making sweet love to us read it, we want them to! So, like, forward this to them. Please.

Vince: Hey Tyler, I've got a question for you that's been bothering me for awhile and I want your opinion on it. If you had to have sex with a member of the Milwaukee Brewers, who would it be? Read the rest of this entry »

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: When The Hunger Games Came To MPD

milwaukee brewers October 10th, 2014

Much like everyone else in the world I recently read Suzanne Collins' hit novel The Hunger Games. It was a pretty good read, quite the page turner actually, and I am excited to see the movie. (Woody Harrelson as Haymitch and Lenny Kravitz as Cinna is seriously inspired casting. And I'd like to give Jennifer Lawrence a Winter's Bone. #ifyouknowwhatimean) The ending left a little bit to be desired, but whatever. I'll probably read the sequels. Katniss is a badass, yo.

Now you may be wondering why I am talking about a YA novel that is soon to be a major motion picture on a Milwaukee Brewers blog. Shouldn't we be talking about spring training or something? Well, first of all I'd like to ask: is this your first time reading this site? Just be happy we're not writing about outfits. Second of all, spring training is borrrriiiiinnnnnggggggg. Thirdly, the book got me thinking about the Milwaukee Brewers and their own killing tendencies.

You see in The Hunger Games there is a tournament with 24 entrants and they must all fight to the death in order to win. The Milwaukee Brewers have 25 roster spots. 25 and 24 are only one number apart! The Hunger Games is filled with a bunch of people with weird names (Katniss, Peeta, Cinna) and so are the Brewers (Norichika, Yovani, "Ryan".) Baseball is a sport and The Hunger Games is like a sporting event. The parallels between this book and the Brewers are endless! (Okay maybe not, but roll with me here.) There are so many similarities between these two things that the question needs to be asked: Who would win the Hunger Games if it only consisted of players on the Brewers 25 man roster? Let's find out. Read the rest of this entry »

THROWBACK THURSDAY: When Animals Hated Trevor Hoffman

milwaukee brewers October 9th, 2014

I think the last remaining member of the "Trevor Hoffman is just having a slow start" bandwagon fell off yesterday and now we can all finally accept that Trevor Hoffman is done as a closer. He doesn't have it. He throws right down the middle and he doesn't fool anyone. Is there a person in the world that was honestly surprised that Glaus hit that homerun? I didn't think so. Yesterday should be Trevor Hoffman's last chance to be the Brewers closer and he shouldn't get a chance to hit 600, at least with the Brewers. Sorry, guy. It's been a nice career, but it's over. How do I know? Because at this point, even the animal kingdom hates him and animals are stupid. If they hate you, you must really suck.

Read the rest of this entry »

WAYBACK WEDNESDAY: When John Hughes Died

milwaukee brewers October 8th, 2014

ferrisJohn Hughes died. This affected me because I am about that age that this sort of thing would matter to me. Considering most of the Brewers are around my age or younger (a fact that depresses me to no end) I figure this has probably affected them too. After the jump it's a mishmash of Brewer reactions to John Hughes' death in one of the most unorganized posts in Miller Park Drunk history. I think you guys will like it. I mean, I consider you guys my friends. I'm not wrong am I? Read the rest of this entry »

Let’s Git R Dunn

milwaukee brewers July 24th, 2014

Yesterday Mark Reynolds hit two homeruns and showed why he was one of the best free agent acquisitions of the offseason. Now, I know that you're probably thinking "Best acquisitions of the offseason? Are you high? Let me get some of that sweet weed you're on, brother", but hear me out.

Last season our first basemen were Alex Gonzalez and Yuniesky Betancourt. Those two combined with everyone else who started there were historically one of the worst first basemen in the history of baseball. ANYONE over them was an upgrade. Every day that Brian Anderson doesn't have to say "Yuniesky Betancourt" on the air is worth at least ten bucks. On top of that, Corey Hart turned down a big money offer from the Brewers to sign with the Mariners and then this happened:

Corey Hart

G PA R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB BB BA OBP SLG
50 203 14 38 7 0 5 19 2 15 .210 .291 .331

Mark Reynolds

G PA R H 2B 3B HR RBI SB BB BA OBP SLG
84 317 36 57 6 0 16 36 5 35 .207 .300 .402

That's what I call the bomb dot com. Or at least what I would have called it if I was a cool day four years ago. Thank you Corey Hart for taking your ugly ass tattoos, the money and running. I'll take Mark Reynolds all day. (I'll also take that $100 my friend Sam bet me on this very outcome. Thank you very much.)

Reynolds has been exactly what I've wanted him to be and a nice upgrade over what came before, but that doesn't mean I'm satisfied with him. Before yesterday he was hitting .199. He's not any kind of answer. He's just "not Yuni" and he hits a lot of homeruns. I will always love him for that, but I think it's time we did something that has the potential to both turn the Brewers into true NL Central favorites AND start a war within the fanbase. I think it's time for the Brewers to trade for Adam Dunn. Read the rest of this entry »

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