10
Mar 09

Eric Gagne: A Photo Tribute

As you should know by now, Eric Gagne was released by the Brewers this weekend and may miss the entire 20o9 season. In honor of this momentous moment in Brewers history (somewhere between the 82 World Series and Jeffrey Hammonds) we present to you....

Eric Gagne: A Photo Tribute

(Feel free to put on whatever semi-depressing song you like while reading this. We recommend Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb.) Continue reading →


09
Mar 09

Mornin. Mornin.

Cubs games now on Oxygen: I am not really sure what Micah Hoffpauir is doing nor do I want to.

Anthony Witrado continues to enjoy learning to write: Those plays are commonplace for Escobar, maybe the most exciting minor-league shortstop in the game, maybe the organization's most major-league-ready prospect, maybe the heir to J.J. Hardy's throne.

All Eric Gagne is dust in the wind: We'll miss you. We wanted to make fun of you more.

Do they even have birthdays in Latin America?: Vlad Guerrero is a year older, just like every other Latin American baseball player of all time.

Arroyo is no Viking: Bronson Arroyo throws a boat party with Pedro.

Maybe if you talk louder he will understand: Woman gets pissed at Jose Reyes for speaking Spanish. Personally, I'd be pissed about the whole "blowing it two years in a row" thing instead of the Spanish.


06
Mar 09

Who ya got in the WBC?

USA USA USA USA USAThe other day a friend of mine asked me who I was taking in the World Baseball Classic and I just looked at him with disgust and disdain and another negative word that starts with d. Is this even a serious question? I'm supposed to "pick" a favorite team to watch? Really?

The answer is no, I'm not and you're not. We already have a team. Unless you were born in Chinese Tapei or Korea or Australia or Canada, then you should be rooting for the United States of America. If you were born in Mexico or Dominican Republic or anywhere in that bracket and you live in America now, you should be rooting for the USA. Why? Because you left there to come here! To better your life! You owe us your cheers!

This isn't really something that is open to discussion with me and I quote the great Kenny Powers when I say:

"Sure, I've been called a xenophobe, but I'm not. I just think that America is the best country and all the other countries are not as good. That used to be called patriotism."

Yeah, what he said.

Not only that, but Ryan Braun is on Team USA! A-Rod isn't! What's not to like about this team? (Besides Adam Dunn, of course.) NOTHING! They're Americans! Proud, patriotic Americans playing America's game.

Now if America were to be eliminated I'd probably have to go with Japan just because of Ichiro, but if they were eliminated? I would actively cheer for this thing to be over so that the real season could start.

Home opener five weeks from today!


05
Mar 09

Artie Lange on Bob Uecker

Because if you want the best stories about Bob Uecker, you have to go to a proven drug addict who was fired from MadTV.


05
Mar 09

Is Tony Gwynn starting to panic or not?

I'm confused. The headline in the Journal Sentinel reads "Injured Gwynn isn't hitting panic button - yet". Then the first line of the article reads:

"I'm starting to panic," the Milwaukee Brewers centerfielder said Tuesday, looking up from his chair with honesty slathered on his face.

So, is he starting to panic or not?

Seconds later, realizing how brutally candid he had just been, Gwynn reeled that statement back and said he was more like "extremely concerned."

Try to relax though, Tony. If you can get healthy and make the team, you're set. You'll be the top pinch runner and late inning defensive replacement. If you can't, you're most likely to get picked up by your dad's Padres or a team that will actually give you a real live starting job, something you will never get with the Brewers unless two or three guys get hurt at once. So, take it easy TGJ. The world is your oyster.