Because if you want the best stories about Bob Uecker, you have to go to a proven drug addict who was fired from MadTV.
I'm confused. The headline in the Journal Sentinel reads "Injured Gwynn isn't hitting panic button - yet". Then the first line of the article reads:
"I'm starting to panic," the Milwaukee Brewers centerfielder said Tuesday, looking up from his chair with honesty slathered on his face.
So, is he starting to panic or not?
Seconds later, realizing how brutally candid he had just been, Gwynn reeled that statement back and said he was more like "extremely concerned."
Try to relax though, Tony. If you can get healthy and make the team, you're set. You'll be the top pinch runner and late inning defensive replacement. If you can't, you're most likely to get picked up by your dad's Padres or a team that will actually give you a real live starting job, something you will never get with the Brewers unless two or three guys get hurt at once. So, take it easy TGJ. The world is your oyster.
In a spring training game (the tie) the other day, Trevor Hoffman came in to pitch during the 7th and the music guy played Hell's Bells. Trevor Hoffman was not happy.
"I hope we can scrap that," he said. "Everybody gets a mulligan."
I'm assuming that this means he only wants to hear that song when he is about to close in a real game and if that's the case, that's fine. Some, however, are speculating that this means that he wants to leave that song behind in San Diego and if that's case I have just one thing to say to him.
Listen, Trevor. You are one of the greatest closers of all time. All time great. You practically invented the entrance music, man. Maybe we're paying you too much and someone cheaper could do the same job, but that doesn't matter. You're with us now and we love you, but you don't you dare change your entrance music. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. I mean, how would you like it if you went to a WWE show and Stone Cold Steve Austin came out to something besides broken glass? You wouldn't like it would you? OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T. NOBODY WOULD! That's crazy talk, man. Do you want nobody to like you? Because that's what you are going to do if you don't come out to Hell's Bells. So, just kick the freakin' AC/DC already!