Mar 09

Let’s pretend all the Brewers are from other countries

I am a big fan of the site Walk Off Walk. The writers at that site are big fans of Rinku and Dinesh and their blog. The blog is pretty awesome and hilarious mostly due to the fact that it is poorly translated.

Yesterday locker room man coming to us from company Topps. He saying we sign contract. We telling him we not reading this english. we say he have talking JB sir. He saying he talking JB sir and JB sir say OK signing.

As I read this I am conflicted with dueling emotions. On the one hand I am elated on how awesome these words can be. On the other I am sad because these gentlemen are Pirates and the Brewers don't have any young Indian pitchers coming down the pipeline. Luckily for me, I have the inernet and through the magic of babel fish I can make any Brewer I want become a broken English speaking immigrant. (Is this wrong? Maybe. As you can probably tell I am ready for the season to start when playing with babel fish and posting pictures of guys in lucha masks is all I can come up with.)

  • Mike Cameron
    "Since they decided to pay $10 million to me, I don' t thinks they will seat that me in the bank. I don' t thinks that's good investment"
    "I will play until it is judged that I am not able to play more"
  • Rickie Weeks
    "They plows very straight forward That is what I want. Just tell me"
    "I am hardly trying to obtain to me right after both years last, I am trying to find my oscillation.."
    "They are both good signallers, if they were not, they would not be here. There are certain things that we are trying to work ignition and to perfect those so I can obtain better."
  • Manny Parra
    "He used that more changeup, he said, that never used he it before and that one outside reason of its success, I listened to that one and finishes of tries to incorporate it in my game"
  • Tony Gwynn Jr
    "I am beginning to terrify to me"
  • Alcides Escobar
    "J.J. and I, we' re very fresh, man. He is a good boy, good player."
  • JJ Hardy
    "Without knowing who it was or what position he played, I said, ' I have taste of this cabrito,"
  • Corey Hart
    "In that point, I finish requesting that it would be in the zone of strike and could put it in game."
    "If you play any sport, when you fight, you try to find something to take root on."
  • Ryan Braun
    "The initial humming has been incredible. It' s probably greater than we never anticipated."
    "I recognize that when you are at this level much people put to him in a pedestal, and she wants to a piece of you. "
  • Prince Fielder
    "I'm my worse critic, I'm very happy and so I have done, only I must keep working. There's portions of things that I need to obtain better in, defensive, everything."
    "While it can take a wood and make pivot it. I'm hardly happy. The brewers took the care from me. One hardly feels well. I can' t even explains it." (Somehow this one ended up being the complete opposite.)
    "I finish eating better, I don't knows. I'm fines now"

Yeah, I got nothing.

Mar 09

A glimpse into the future, a glimpse into the past


Marmol gave up two runs in the 11th inning to blow a save in the Dominican Republic's 2-1 WBC loss to the Netherlands. Marmol made a key throwing error on a pickoff attempt.

A huge upset loss for the Dominican Republic as they were eliminated from the WBC and a likely emotional blow to Marmol. Still, he has plenty of time to recover for Opening Day.

Mar 09

Dance with me you mustachioed fool

Walk Off Walk asks the questions: Why haven't baseball players been invited to be on Dancing with the Stars? It's an interesting question seeing as how this season has Steve-O, Steve Jobs' sidekick (also known as Kathy Griffin's rich ex) and famous coke addict Lawrence Taylor. They could clearly use some fresh meat. So, why not baseball players? Famous people don't get anymore well spoken and elegant than Cal Ripken Jr, Robin Yount and Tony Gwynn. These guys would be a ratings bonanza.

Yet, Robin Yount isn't the Brewer I would most like to see on the show. Nor is he the baseball player I think could do more for this show in the long run. No, that player is.... well, do you really even have to ask?

Gorman Thomas

But why stop at Dancing with the Stars? Why not get Gorman on every reality show? The Amazing Race, Survivor, Cheaters, Denise Richards: It's Complicated, The Principal's Office, everything. I can honestly say without a shadow of a doubt that Gorman Thomas would improve every single reality show on television. In fact, I will go so far as to say that he may be reality TV's only hope.

Make it happen ABC.

Mar 09

Eric Gagne: A Photo Tribute

As you should know by now, Eric Gagne was released by the Brewers this weekend and may miss the entire 20o9 season. In honor of this momentous moment in Brewers history (somewhere between the 82 World Series and Jeffrey Hammonds) we present to you....

Eric Gagne: A Photo Tribute

(Feel free to put on whatever semi-depressing song you like while reading this. We recommend Pink Floyd's Comfortably Numb.) Continue reading →

Mar 09

Mornin. Mornin.

Cubs games now on Oxygen: I am not really sure what Micah Hoffpauir is doing nor do I want to.

Anthony Witrado continues to enjoy learning to write: Those plays are commonplace for Escobar, maybe the most exciting minor-league shortstop in the game, maybe the organization's most major-league-ready prospect, maybe the heir to J.J. Hardy's throne.

All Eric Gagne is dust in the wind: We'll miss you. We wanted to make fun of you more.

Do they even have birthdays in Latin America?: Vlad Guerrero is a year older, just like every other Latin American baseball player of all time.

Arroyo is no Viking: Bronson Arroyo throws a boat party with Pedro.

Maybe if you talk louder he will understand: Woman gets pissed at Jose Reyes for speaking Spanish. Personally, I'd be pissed about the whole "blowing it two years in a row" thing instead of the Spanish.

  • BrewBay

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