27
Apr 09

Dear Ken Macha I’ve had enough of your aggression on the basepaths

jason-kendallThe Brewers lost yesterday and despite problems with FSN-WI, I watched just about the whole game with the score at 3-2 Astros. The Brewers seemingly had chances to come back every single inning after falling behind.

Top of the 5th: 2 LOB
Top of the 6th: 1 LOB
Top of the 7th: 3 LOB
Top of the 8th: 0 LOB
Top of the 9th: 1 LOB

The one inning in which they didn't leave any on base ended with Jason Kendall getting caught stealing. Yes, that Jason Kendall. Let me tell you what I know about Jason Kendall.

Jason Kendall specifically selected his at-bat song to scare little kids.

Jason Kendall has 170 steals in his career, but

Speed declines with age and

Jason Kendall turns 35 in two months.

I am not one to pile on Jason Kendall. There are other blogs that do that, this is not one of them. I just don't expect much from the catcher position. He's a perfectly acceptable placeholder until Salome or whoever else is ready to take over. He knows the staff and plays good defense. Maybe Rivera should play a bit more, but overall he's fine. I will say this.

Ken Macha should know that the only way Jason Kendall steals that base is if Jason Kendall is the one trying to throw him out. That was a terrible, ridiculous idea. I understand that you don't like Jason Kendall, that doesn't mean that you can embarass the poor guy on television. Quit tweeting and lock it up.

Thus far this season the Brewers have 7 steals and have been caught 7 times. That is not a recipe for success. Jason Kendall trying to steal bases? RECIPE FOR TOTAL FAILURE.

So here's the new rule. You are not allowed to attempt to steal if you are a 35 year old white catcher or wear the #28. Everyone else? Green light. Consider me your coach of common sense.


09
Apr 09

Guide to Opening Day: To Bong or Not to Bong?

Miller Park Drunk Guide To Opening Day

To Bong or Not to Bong?: A guide to getting drunk

"Luther said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink" - The Sting

Of course you know how to drink. I wouldn't doubt it for a second. You've probably never had too much to drink and thrown up. Or said something you shouldn't have. Fell down, been thrown out of a bar, attempted a backflip or chewed your arm off to get away from a girl you woke up next to. You've probably never kissed a dude because you thought it would be funny or split your pants or threw up at a bar ON the bar. You know how to drink, you wouldn't do these things.

Here's the thing, I have. I've done all those things. I have done more stupid things while I was drunk then pretty much everyone you've ever met. I've ruined more relationships, spilled more tequilla on myself, sent more regrettable texts and had more heads shaken at me (oh, you) than my entire readership combined. Is this something I'm proud of? Of course not. I wish I could drink like a normal person and do normal things. I wish I had more than three readers. It's just that when I drink I am fairly certain that I can do a standing backflip and will later have to throw up. These things happen. So while you may think you know how to drink, I'm going to tell you how NOT to drink at Opening Day. It's my pleasure, really.

Continue reading →


06
Apr 09

Thank god we don’t live in Toronto

Today is the first full day of games and everyone is getting their first chance to root for their team... except us (and Giants fans). This sucks and it's kind of lame that the team has to play a game, fly from San Francisco to Milwaukee, then play a game the next day; but whatever. The Giants need their rest! They played an exhibition game yesterday! If you're feeling sad about it, know this: it could worse.

There have been some infractions at the Skydome at “past events as a result of these infractions, the Alcohol and Gaming Commission of Ontario announced Saturday that it is suspending the liquor license for Rogers Centre for three event dates in 2009.

The first suspension date is Tuesday, April 7, 2009 (Toronto Blue Jays vs. Detroit Tigers).

Opening Day! Seriously!

The day after Opening Day! Seriously!


01
Apr 09

Guide to Opening Day: What to do if girls are coming

Fleischmann's Vodka+robinade


30
Mar 09

Untitled

Barrel Man 1909

[Mears Online via JSonline]