16
Jul 10

ANNOUNCEMENT: Miller Park Drunk’s Pants Party

Hey, what are you doing Sunday August 29th? There is a Brewers game that day, you know. They're even giving away CC Sabathia bobbleheads. Remember him? He was the star of the last awesome Brewers team, remember? Man, those were some good times. Seems like so long ago.

So, you thinking about going? Because I am going and I have a few extra tickets and.... yeah. We're having a party.

More specifically we're having...

Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party


It's like a party, but in my pants. Except it's not in my pants, but I am just saying that to sound funny. It's actually at Miller Park. Yep.

Here's what it includes: Continue reading →


12
May 10

Hey everybody, we’re all getting laid Tuesday May 25th!

Do you like the Brewers?

Do you like getting laid?

Are you single (or will you pretend to be)?

Do you have $40?

Well, have I got the deal for you! Check out what I just found this on the Brewers official website:

For only $40, get a Dew Deck ticket, which includes a pre-game buffet and two drinks per person, plus the opportunity to mix and mingle with Milwaukee-area singles!

    DEW DECK BUFFET MENU FEATURES:
  • Grilled Bratwurst with Sauerkraut
  • Hot Dogs
  • Chicken Breast Sandwiches
  • Hamburgers
  • Lettuce, Tomato, and Pickle Platters
  • Pasta Salad
  • Assorted Cookies
  • Soft drinks
  • Two beers per adult

Would it be wrong to buy all the available tickets and put them on stubhub for 5x face value? The Brewers are basically guaranteeing that you get laid here! $40 makes me feel like I'm practically stealing from them. You can't even get a hooker in Costa Rica for that price.

Look we all know that the key to a woman's heart isn't actually a key, but more like a math equation. That equation? Continue reading →


04
Apr 10

So you’re not going to Opening Day…

For the past two weeks I have been planning on NOT going to Opening Day. I got great tickets for Tuesday and I just didn't feel like paying the higher price for Opening Day tickets. I been there, I done that. (You got guns? Yo, I got straps.) Instead, I planned to have an Opening Day party and watching the game on TV. I make my own fun and there's nothing at the stadium that would really change that.

Well, some things have changed and I am now going to Opening Day (as a designated driver, seriously). That doesn't mean I still don't have these cool plans for an Opening Day party and that I can't share them with all of you. Continue reading →


08
Mar 10

To Go or Not To Go: An Opening Day Conundrum

I've been to Opening Day for the past three years now and this would be my fourth year in a row. Basically, since I moved back to Wisconsin I have gone to Opening Day every year. I've had good times and I've had bad. I've had girls hold my hand because they were drunk (or as I like to call it, second base), I've had a fight broken up because the other person liked Kobe Bryant just a little too much, I've gone crazy for my favorite player and I've dealt with that traffic that you see in the picture. It's always been fun, but so has every Brewers game that I've ever been to. (Well, except for that one.) I guess the question I am asking is, does a good Opening Day matter? Should I even bother? I mean, as a person who is kind of crazy about baseball, a person who spends a lot of his free time writing about it for free on a website, you'd think that I'd be a shoo-in for Opening Day, but lately I've been questioning it. Continue reading →


25
Jan 10

Orlando Park To Be Named Later Drunk

The Brewers are moving to Orlando and I don't know about you guys, but I'm going with them. Think about it. Disney World! Universal Studios! Epcot Center! The Brewers! Throw in Wesley Snipes from Demolition Man a cute girl from my class and it's like my grade school wet dream. I am going to miss all of you, but I think myself and the team will be much happier there. Nice weather, good team, good location. How could this possibly go wrong?

FLASH FORWARD OPENING DAY 2012 Continue reading →

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