Keys to the Game
- Throw pitches for strikes that the Giants do not hit.
- Hit the baseball fair in places where there is no one to catch it. Preferably out of the field of play.
- Do not start Jeff Suppan.
With the news coming down that the spot where Bernie lands after a homerun now being sponsored by Kalahari Resorts and the team itself now being presented by Potawatomi Bingo, it's only a matter of time before every single thing in the park is sponsored by something. Frankly, I am all for this. More money for the team is a good thing and it doesn't really matter to me who these sponsors are. The place is called Miller Park and I end up with Anheuser Busch products most of the time. Who cares right? The team should be actively seeking these partnerships and I've got some ideas for a few more ways to monetize your trip to the ballpark.
Roundy's Presents Right Field: When I say monetize everything, I mean monetize EVERYTHING.
Klement's Sausage Haus Presented by Klement's Sausage: Double sponsorship!
Visitor's Dugout Presented by The Fluid Lounge: Who better to sponsor our friends from out of town than the place "Where Friends Meet Friends"?
LaCage's Visitor Bullpen: Honestly, I just spent way too much time looking at Milwaukee gay bars. (Where are the clever names Milwaukee gay bars? Where's the Meat Locker? Where's the Male Box? "This Is It", that's seriously the best you could come up with?)
Second Base Presented By ShamWow: Potential drawback? Made in Germany.
Bob Uecker's Broadcast Booth Presented by The Tool Shed: I can clearly picture Bob saying this followed by "The Tool Shed for all your perverted needs."
Bud Selig's All Star Balloting: A good way for the former owner to give back to the team that in no way implies any wrongdoing on his part for the 2002 All Star Game or the bastardization of the game thanks to his "This Time It Counts" rules.
Section 201 Presented by the smell of piss and old beer: Has this ever happened to anyone else? More than once last season I ended up moving because the smell was so bad.
Got any sponsorship ideas? Leave them in the comments.
TV on the Radio - Wolf Like Me
This song is awesome and it's awesomeness is only enhanced more by drinking. Therefore it should be perfect for games, but here's the thing: sometimes when I listen to this song I want to start a mosh pit with the nearest inanimate object I can find. Maybe even smash my head through a car's windshield (in a good way). Is that a good way to feel like in a parking lot of 30,000 people? Probably not.
Handle with care.
Do you like long lines.
Do you want no chance of going to the game?
Do you like dealing with drunks?
Do you like taking their $20s and pointing them in the right direction?
THEN DO WE HAVE THE JOB FOR YOU!
Imperial Parking is holding a job fair for the 2009 season!