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	<title>Miller Park DrunkThe day the Madness died | Miller Park Drunk   </title>
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		<title>The day the Madness died</title>
		<link>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/the-day-the-madness-died/</link>
		<comments>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/the-day-the-madness-died/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 20 May 2011 22:13:44 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Vince Morales</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Off-Base]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[babyfaces]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[boos]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[braun]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[clutch]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[hulk]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[legends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[macho man randy]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[macho man randy savage]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/?p=3025</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Yeah, Braun got hurt last night and that'd be real bad, the Brewers are "not clutch", can't hit on the road and they are left out of interleague play like the wheelchair kid in kickball. I don't care. This is what I want to write about because it's the saddest news of the day. When [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/machoshades-235x300.jpg" alt="" title="machoshades" width="235" height="300" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-3026" /><em>Yeah, Braun got hurt last night and that'd be real bad, the Brewers are "not clutch", can't hit on the road and they are left out of interleague play like the wheelchair kid in kickball. I don't care. This is what I want to write about because it's the saddest news of the day.</em></p>
<p>When people discuss the difference between professional wrestlers, the opening match comedy acts or the middle of the card technical wrestlers or the main eventers, the difference between them is always referred to as the "it" factor. That something about someone that makes you want to watch them. The ability of the performer to keep your eyes on them and draw your attention to whatever it is they are doing at the moment. It's something that is extremely hard to define, but when someone has it you just know. Hulk Hogan, despite being one of the worst in-ring performers of all time, had it. Steve Austin had it. The Rock had it. Even John Cena, despite the chorus of boos he receives from the diehard fans, has it. That special "IT" is what sets apart the wrestlers from the stars and the stars from the legends.</p>
<p>If I were asked to give an example of everything that ever epitomized what "IT" was I wouldn't be able to tell you what qualities that person might have, how they might sound or what they might look like. I would only give you one specific example that would sum up all you needed to know about the "IT" factor and that example would be the Macho Man Randy Savage. He had IT more than any wrestler of his or any generation. When he wrestled, you watched. When he talked on the microphone, you listened. It did not matter where his place on the card was or whether he was currently aligning himself with the babyfaces or the heels, whatever Randy Savage was doing was important. In a way Randy Savage just didn't have "it", he <strong>was </strong>"IT".<span id="more-3025"></span></p>
<p>The fact that his death is such big news just shows big of a deal Randy Savage was to people. His last appearance in WCW came in 2000 when WCW was on it's deathbed and nobody was watching or cared. A brief appearance in TNA in 2005 would be notable if only TNA itself were notable. Outside of an ill-advised <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhTfdLMkyUs" target="_blank">rap album</a> mostly dedicated to ripping on Hulk Hogan and a 2008 <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Randy-Savage-Macho-Madness-WWE/dp/B00120LPQU" target="_blank">WWE DVD</a> of his career, Savage has found himself completely out of the spotlight unlike the other stars of his era. The fact that Savage hasn't appeared in a WWE ring since 1994 and is yet to be inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame while all of his contemporaries have only adds fuel to <a href="http://www.wrestlingforum.com/general-wwe/443559-randy-savage-vince-mcmahon-fued-what-started.html" target="_blank">a rumor that simply won't die</a>. Despite his ten plus year absence from the ring Savage has remained a constant presence in the hearts and minds of both wrestlers and wrestling fans. Whether it's through the amazing <a href="http://wheresrandysavage.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">Where's Randy Savage tumblr</a>, Jay Lethal's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FoQ1TcmNbI&amp;feature=related" target="_blank">Black Machismo</a> or the late <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifP1LsZaEnA&amp;feature=fvsr" target="_blank">Larry Sweeney's Macho-inspired persona</a>; the Madness was never far from us.</p>
<p>It's not hard to figure out why. While the 80's Rock N Wrestling era of the WWF was filled with cartoon characters, Savage somehow always seemed more real. Unlike Hogan's Atomic Legdrop his finisher, the Flying Elbow Drop, looked dangerous. When Randy Savage crushed Ricky Steamboat's larynx you believed it because what he did looked like it would crush someone's larynx. He played his character so well that you always believed that whatever he was doing was real. While many gimmicks from this era are jokes today (the Red Rooster and the Repo Man to name two) and could only be used today in a comedy situation, the Macho Man gimmick would work in any generation because of the strength of the man who embodied it. Randy Savage was the Macho Man as much as the Macho Man was Randy Savage.</p>
<p><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/53hiHAkK6KA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>Looking back on his career you forget how good he actually was. If Shawn Michaels' is Mr. Wrestlemania then he received that title from Savage. The best match in Wrestlemania history is Savage vs Steamboat from Wrestlemania III. His match against the Ultimate Warrior at Wrestlemania VII is by far the best match of the Warrior's career and the post-match reconciliation with Elizabeth still gives me goosebumps (if it doesn't make me cry) til this day. His title win at Wrestlemania IV, his falls count anywhere match with Crush at Wrestlemania X and his classic with Ric Flair at Wrestlemania XIII are all what the WWE refers to as Wrestlemania moments.</p>
<p><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/1E7Ch4Gw-Kk" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>Despite those five bona fide Wrestlemania moments Savage's career will always be defined by Wrestlemania V and the angle that led up to it. After Hulk Hogan lost the title to Andre the Giant under extremely sketchy circumstances, Andre was stripped of the title and a tournament was decided to crown the new champion. At the time everyone expected Hogan to regain what was rightfully his, but as it turned out Hogan didn't make the finals and instead Randy Savage began his first reign as World Champion. Hogan was the first one in the ring to congratulate Savage and instead of challenging him the two spent the next year teaming up as the Mega Powers with Miss Elizabeth (Savage's wife who famously <a href="http://youtu.be/1x1G_8Vhgc0" target="_blank">debuted in this video</a>) by their side. The team main evented WWE's first SummerSlam in 1988 and spent most of the year fighting off the forces of evil. When the evil doers tried to double team one, the other was always there and vice versa. Unfortunately this friendship, like so many friendships in wrestling, was to be shortlived and everything came to a head on a classic episode of Saturday Night's Main Event from the Bradley Center in Milwaukee.</p>
<p><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/cpoKODAY7Io" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>Hogan and Savage were teaming up against the Twin Towers of Akeem and the Big Bossman when during the match Randy Savage was thrown from the ring and landed directly on Miss Elizabeth. Elizabeth was hurt and Hogan, in a showcase of his acting "skills", was really worried. He picked her up and carried her to the back for medical attention leaving Savage to fend for himself against the Twin Towers. After assuring her safety Hogan made his way back to the ring to finish the match and Savage was livid. He grabbed his title and left Hogan to fend for himself. Hogan finished the match and went to the back to confront Savage. Despite Elizabeth's pleas Savage proceeded to brutally attack him because of Hogan's "jealous eyes" and the match of the decade was made.</p>
<p><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/4CrOYq94tOg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p><iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/_TnSPQGHz7A" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>I've gotten drunk with my friends and watched that video on youtube roughly two thousand times. It never gets old. The storyline is great, but it's Randy Savage that makes it last. His character has motivation and he executes it with an intensity that is second to none. It's everything that makes wrestling great and it's all because of Randy Savage.</p>
<p>Now there's a good chance that Randy Savage was crazy and there is certainly a lot of evidence to back this theory up. He probably wasn't the best guy in the world either with the aforementioned rumors and a constant stream of stories about his relationship with Miss Elizabeth. Like all of us he made mistakes and I'm sure he had regrets about things. He's a person and people are imperfect (especially those who choose to fake fight for money), but as a performer Randy Savage is someone I'll never forget and I will truly miss him. He did things in the ring that made me a fan for life and for that I can't thank him enough. He had "IT" more than any wrestler I've ever seen and in a perfect world it wouldn't even call it that, it'd simply be known as the "Macho" factor because nobody has ever had it more than him. </p>
<p>RIP Macho Man</p>
<p><iframe frameborder="0" width="480" height="327" src="http://www.dailymotion.com/embed/video/xd38a7"></iframe><br /></i></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Super Bowl XLV Preview</title>
		<link>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/super-bowl-xlv-preview/</link>
		<comments>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/super-bowl-xlv-preview/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 04 Feb 2011 20:00:39 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Vince Morales</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Off-Base]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aaron rodgers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ben roethlisberger]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[green bay packers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nfl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nfl super bowl]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pittsburgh steelers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[super bowl]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/?p=2833</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[The Green Bay Packers play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the XLVth Super Bowl this Sunday and everyone is talking about it. You can't walk two feet without seeing something green, hearing about Aaron Rodgers or noticing someone in a Steelers sweatshirt that you had never seen them in before. Everyone has changed their facebook profile [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-full wp-image-2835" title="ben-roethlisberger-drunk" src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/ben-roethlisberger-drunk.jpg" alt="" width="320" height="240" />The Green Bay Packers play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the XLVth Super Bowl this Sunday and everyone is talking about it. You can't walk two feet without seeing something green, hearing about Aaron Rodgers or noticing someone in a Steelers sweatshirt that you had never seen them in before. Everyone has changed their facebook profile picture to a Packers player instead of themselves which, honestly, is a nice replacement for the self portrait they took with their cell phone camera. Most of the people I know can tell me, down to the minute, when the game starts. It's insane. You'd think that one of these teams was from Milwaukee. (<em>What? Green Bay is where now? -Ed.</em>)</p>
<p>I realize that it's completely pointless to try and mention the Milwaukee Brewers in this space until at least Tuesday. (If you really want to know my feelings on the Mark Kotsay signing look at <a href="http://thebrewersbar.com/2011-articles/february/kotsay-agrees-to-deal-with-brewers.html" target="_blank">this graph</a>.) For one thing, they haven't even started spring training yet. For another, PACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERS. So if you can't beat them join them. I may not be an expert on the Green Bay Packers, but I am an expert on watching television, eating and drinking. We also know a bit about gambling, <a href="http://www.mlbtips.net/nfl-betting-tips/598/nfl-super-bowl-betting-tips.htm" target="_blank">8-2 in the playoffs</a>, and are going for the Packers on Sunday. There is money at stake, we're just as excited as you are. We basically know everything you need to know about Sunday and that's why we are here to bring you...</p>
<h2><span style="color: #008000;"><span style="text-decoration: underline;">MILLER PARK DRUNK'S GUIDE TO THE SUPER BOWL</span></span></h2>
<p><span id="more-2833"></span></p>
<p>See what I did there? With the green? Like the Packers color is green? Nevermind.</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><strong>GO TO A PARTY</strong></span></h3>
<p>This is pretty much a non-starter with me. I went to the bar on Super Bowl Sunday once and it was the pits. You can't leave if you get sick of being at the bar because you'll miss the game and you have to pay for your drinks. Worse, there is a good chance you get the "obnoxious fan from a team that is not yours" at the bar. There's a reason nobody invited him to a Super Bowl party. You want to kill him every time something bad happens for your team and you still want to kill him when he's making lame excuses when good things happen for your team. Lose-lose-lose situation. I once watched the Super Bowl on a 28" TV with three guys in a house without heat and even that was better than the time I watched the game in a bar. It's just not worth it.</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;">KEEP EATING</span></h3>
<p>You know how sometimes you are at a football party and the host decides to wait til halftime to bring out the main course? Don't be that guy who waits to eat anything until halftime. That's stupid. You need to be attacking the meat and cheese tray like Ben Roethlisberger attacks a college girl. You have to be downing chips like Ben Roethlisberger pours Jager bombs down a college girl's throat. You've got to be going threw spinach dip like Ben Roethlisberger goes through hush money.</p>
<p>Here's the thing, you know how people say you have to eat and get a base before drinking? That's true, but you also need to get a good base before <em>eating</em>. You can't eat 50 wings without a few cheese and crackers first. You can't down four brats without a little chips. You have to be ready. You need to fire a warning flare down into your stomach that today is going to be a tough day for it and let it know that it needs to man up because you won't be stopping anytime soon. It's what Super Bowl Sunday is all about. Killing yourself to live.</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;">DRINK</span></h3>
<p>Bloody Marys before the game? Yeah.<br />
Beer? Of course.<br />
Shots after TDs? Why not.<br />
Switching to hard liquor when things aren't going how you want them to? You betcha.<br />
Celebratory champagne? Sure!<br />
A nice glass of wine as your significant other makes you watch the post game episode of Glee? You earned it!</p>
<p>Drink as much as you can. It's not like anyone expects you to actually get any work done on Monday.</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;">GAMBLING!</span></h3>
<p>Some people will say that you shouldn't bet on your own team because if they lose you will suffer a double loss. I say you should only do that when your team sucks and is going to lose, but you are too stupid to realize it. Bears fans know what I'm talking about. GAMBLE YOUR HEARTS OUT and the Super Bowl is the best time to do it.</p>
<p>Here's a list of real things you can bet on courtesy of <a href="http://sports.bodog.com/welcome/2922417/" target="_blank">Bodog</a>:</p>
<ul>
<li>Who will win the coin toss?</li>
<li>How long will it take Christina Aguilera to sing the National Anthem? O/U 1 minute 54 seconds</li>
<li>Will Fergie be dressed as a Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader at any point during the Halftime show?</li>
<li>How Many Times will FOX mention “Brett Favre” on TV during the Game?  O/U 2.5</li>
<li>What Color will the Gatorade be that is dumped on the Head Coach of the Winning Super Bowl Team?</li>
<li>Will B.J.Raji be on the field for at least 1offensive play?</li>
<li>Will there be a score in the first 3min 30 seconds of the 1st quarter?</li>
<li>Green Bay Packers win Super Bowl and Milwaukee Brewers win on MLB Opening Day (3/31/11)?  <strong>Yes +225!</strong></li>
<li>Number of sexual assault allegations against Ben Roethlisberger in the week after the Super Bowl?</li>
</ul>
<p>Sorry, they took that last one off the board.</p>
<p>Okay, I made it up.</p>
<p>Seriously though, you can gamble on anything. My picks? Packers -3, Aaron Rodgers for MVP (The QB of the winning team wins MVP something like XL out of XLV times) and Donald Driver over 4.5 catches. GAMBLING!!!!!!!!!</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;">THE COMMERCIALS</span></h3>
<p>There are two types of assholes at your Super Bowl party. The first is the "I don't care who wins, I just want a good game" guy. This guy is a total moron and will likely leave before the end of the third quarter because whatever his idea of a "good game" isn't happening. Plus, he wants to get home to make sure Glee records properly. Screw him.</p>
<p>The other is the, "I don't care who wins, I just want to see the commercials" guy. Does anyone like this guy? I mean, just think about the very nature of commercials. I end up watching most of my favorite shows on the internet because I want to avoid commercials. People with DVRs record their favorite shows so they can fast forward through the commercials. Why would anyone <em>want </em>to watch the commercials? On purpose? Sure, some of them will be funny and some of them will be cool and some of them will feature music from your favorite indie band so you will think that the commercial is cool even though the only thing that happens is a car drives down a road next to the ocean, but that doesn't mean they will never air again. No, if a commercial is good you will see it every day for the rest of the year until the next Super Bowl.</p>
<p><iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/UDTZCgsZGeA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe></p>
<p>Keep the volume down low and talk right over it. Commercials are stupid. Almost as stupid as Joe Buck's stupid voice.</p>
<p>While we're here, tell anyone who mentions the impending NFL lockout and says things like "This may be the last football we see for a long time" to shut the hell up. The season doesn't begin until September anyways. Isn't 8 months, 3/4ths of the year from now, a long time as it is? SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;">BEN ROETHLISBERGER JOKES</span></h3>
<p>Is there a limit on them? Hell no.</p>
<p>I recommend printing this picture out for any Steeler fans at your party.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2834" title="andrea_mcnulty_photo" src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/andrea_mcnulty_photo.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="400" /></p>
<p>WHY!?!?!!??!?!</p>
<p>There are many reasons to hate Ben Roethlisberger. He has been fellated by the media ever since his rookie season and announcers constantly call him "Ben" which reminds me way too much of another first name basis quarterback I can't stand. Also, he's a complete douchebag.</p>
<p>Now some people might say that Ben Roethlisberger is a rapist jokes are played out and somewhat tasteless. I say, these jokes will never get old and you should make fun of him as much as your heart desires.</p>
<p>HOW MANY PEOPLE DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGTHBULB?<br />
TWO- BEN ROETHLISBERGER AND SOMEONE FOR HIM TO RAPE!</p>
<h3><span style="text-decoration: underline;">GO STEELERS?</span></h3>
<p>That <a href="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/baseball/milwaukee-brewers-baseball/go-steelers/" target="_blank">last post</a> was, obviously, a joke which still didn't stop some people from calling me names and taking it seriously.</p>
<p>The truth is I am rooting for the Packers. How could you not? I don't want all my friends and readers to be depressed and do we really want a rapist to win another Super Bowl? He already has two! Somebody has to stop him. Just do it already, Packers.</p>
<p>However, if the Packers do win there is going to be some ground rules.</p>
<ol>
<li>There is no limit on how much merchandise you can buy, but none of it can be crappy. Just because a hat that says "Packers World Champions" is $5 at Wal-Mart doesn't mean you should buy it.</li>
<li>Do not under any circumstances convince yourself that any of these Packer parody songs are good. "<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3pFD-xdPRE" target="_blank">Fly Like a Cheesehead</a>" is not a good song, "Green and Yellow" is not a good song and I don't know what the hell this is.<br />
<iframe title="YouTube video player" width="480" height="390" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/isVsaVjZ9Wg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br />
If you must, go with that Lil Wayne song. IF YOU MUST.</li>
<li>Remember, the Brewers are going to be awesome this year. If the Packers win the Super Bowl that doesn't mean that you don't need to care about the Brewers. You can't just be interested in the Packers offseason, the draft, summer workouts and all the other boring stuff the NFL tries to make sound interesting. If you are going to ignore anything, ignore the Bucks. That's what <a href="http://whatthebucks.com" target="_blank">we did</a>. The Brewers are going to the World Series. Put it behind you.</li>
<li>Don't drink and drive.</li>
</ol>
<p>And if they don't win? Well I'm not a religious man, but God help us all. I might need to move. </p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Green Bay Packers face tough test this Sunday</title>
		<link>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/green-bay-packers-face-tough-test-this-sunday/</link>
		<comments>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/green-bay-packers-face-tough-test-this-sunday/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 29 Dec 2010 21:20:12 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Vince Morales</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Off-Base]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[aaron rodgers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[chicago bears]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[green bay packers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[packers]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zack greinke]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/?p=2774</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[By any way you measure it, the Green Bay Packers have had a great season. They currently have the second largest point differential of any team in the NFL. Their DVOA, a stat created by Football Outsiders,which I hear is pretty good, ranks them at 23.8% good for 5th overall in the NFL and mere [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/aaron-rodgers.jpg"><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2775" title="aaron-rodgers" src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/aaron-rodgers-300x162.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="162" /></a>By any way you measure it, the Green Bay Packers have had a great season. They currently have the second largest point differential of any team in the NFL. Their DVOA, a stat created by <a href="http://www.footballoutsiders.com/stats/teameff" target="_blank">Football Outsiders</a>,which I hear is pretty good, ranks them at 23.8% good for 5th overall in the NFL and mere percentage points from 3rd overall. Football Outsiders also ranks them with the second best defense and fifth best offense (in DVOA), and if it wasn't for their terribly low special teams rank, they could be the best team in the NFL. All of their losses are by four points or less. The Green Bay Packers are a much better team than 9-6.</p>
<p>Their opponent on Sunday, the Chicago Bears, is just about the opposite in every way. They are practically an average team in DVOA, their offense is among the league's worst, and their point differential is second lowest among (if the season ended today) NFC playoff teams. The other team? St. Louis Rams. So, yeah. Seven of their eleven wins have come by less than one score. The Chicago Bears are a good team, but they are not this good.</p>
<p>In a world where the numbers are always correct and luck never comes into play, it would be the Chicago Bears playing for their playoff lives, and the Green Bay Packers who would be choosing between playing for the chance at home field advantage or resting their stars on the final weekend. Of course, the NFL is not a world dominated by numbers, and the Green Bay Packers need to win this Sunday if they want to control their own destiny. It doesn't take a math genius to point out that a Packers loss and subsequent missing of the playoffs would be a huge disappointment. Not only would it be a big win for the super annoying Brett-Favre-should-have-the-right-to-choose-when-he-wanted-to-leave goofballs, but it would just plain suck. We need an excuse to drink beyond this weekend. Plus, a team with this sort of talent, that can lose key players and carry on without missing a beat, just doesn't come around that often. This is a team with a chance to win the Super Bowl, and there is no way of knowing if that same chance will return next year. The Packers need to win on Sunday and see how far this thing can go. They have to.</p>
<p>But what if they didn't? What if they didn't make the playoffs? Then what?<span id="more-2774"></span></p>
<p>It wouldn't matter.</p>
<p>The world wouldn't stop spinning.</p>
<p>We'd have still have things to be happy about.</p>
<p>We'd still have this.</p>
<p><img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-2776" title="zack-greinke-jersey" src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/12/zack-greinke-jersey.jpg" alt="" width="500" height="669" /></p>
<p style="text-align: center;"><span>YEAH!!!!!!!!!!</span></p>
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      <img src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/images/pp.gif" alt="Paypal" />&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;US $1.99
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		<title>What Brewer would you trust with your girlfriend?</title>
		<link>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/what-brewer-would-you-trust-with-your-girlfriend/</link>
		<comments>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/what-brewer-would-you-trust-with-your-girlfriend/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 27 Oct 2010 06:40:57 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Vince Morales</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Off-Base]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[alcohol]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[best friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cashier]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[college credit]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[condoms]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[corner store]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[disrespect]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[drinks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[girlfriend]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[jason mraz]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[lil kim]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[nice people]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sports]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stocking]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[truth]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vagina]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/?p=2686</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I do my best not to get jealous when it comes to my girlfriend. Whether it's her puzzling lifelong crush on Jason Mraz or the people who won't stop telling me how "lucky" I am to be with her or any of her assorted male best friends, I do my best not to let it [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2689" title="ryan-braun-andreena-clarke2" src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/10/ryan-braun-andreena-clarke2-300x200.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="200" />I do my best not to get jealous when it comes to my girlfriend. Whether it's her puzzling lifelong crush on Jason Mraz or the people who won't stop telling me how "lucky" I am to be with her or any of her assorted male best friends, I do my best not to let it bother me. After all she is with me and not them for a reason, I don't know what that reason might be (I suspect some sort of experiment for college credit), but the fact is that she is with me and not them. So I try not to get jealous, but she's attractive and she owns a vagina so she gets hit on a lot. I do my best not to let it bother me, but sometimes it does. Like the other day.</p>
<p>The other day she went to the corner store where we normally go to pick up alcohol and other drinks and the cashier (who <em>never </em>does this sort of thing) asked her if she had a boyfriend. She told him that she did and when he asked if it was "that guy you're always in here with" she told him that yes, that was me and I was her boyfriend. (Good work, btw girlfriend.) I would have preferred "Yeah he's my boyfriend you got a problem with that douchebag? His name is Vince and he will f*ckin' END you for this, dog", but she's not Lil' Kim and probably way too nice to even think to say something like that. Plus, she probably doesn't believe I could actually end anybody. Still, that should have shut him up right? He should be apologizing to her. Apologizing for the great disrespect that he has shown for the two of us and our relationship because we seem like nice people and are probably a really good couple. "Sorry," he should say, "I messed up," but of course he doesn't do that. No, he has something to say. He says "Oh...."</p>
<p><span style="font-size: medium;">I heard that he was gay.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: x-large;">I heard that he was gay.</span></p>
<p><span style="font-size: xx-large;">I heard that he was gay.</span></p>
<p>Seriously? That's your play, guy who I always talk to about sports? Really, guy who I once told to "start stocking condoms because I don't want another kid"? That's your move? Really? You sure about that, guy with a neck tattoo who is out of her league anyways?</p>
<p>(And I'm not gay. I watch professional wrestling! There's nothing gay about that, that's for sure!)</p>
<p>It sucks. I can't even trust my girlfriend to buy me a Vitamin Water without some jerkoff trying to hit on her, but the truth is that when it comes to your girlfriend you really can't trust anybody. How many movies are there about best friends in love with the same girl or the guy in love with his brother's fiance? How many vampires have to steal girls from werewolves before we learn that this stuff happens in real life? It happens all the time, every single day and there is only a few people in the world that you can trust.</p>
<p>I know that with my girlfriend I can trust the following people:<span id="more-2686"></span></p>
<ul>
<li>Four of my friends because gross. That'd be like trading in steak for Play Doh. Not even new Play Doh either, the kind of Play Doh that got mixed in with some other colors and now looks like something that came out of a newborn.</li>
<li>My cousin because he's gay.</li>
<li>One or two people because they are actually good people and wouldn't do that to a friend. (<em>Note: I have yet to find these people.</em>)</li>
<li>Two or three of my other friends because they are either (annoyingly) in love and/or whipped enough to never even think about it. <em>I think I'm in love. I can't even look at another girl anymore. She could be the one. </em>S. T. F. U. Seriously, get bit by a Zebra.</li>
<li>And Tyler because well.. you know. He's Tyler.</li>
</ul>
<p>And that's it. Everyone else is untrustworthy. I'm not upset about it. This is how it is for everyone. Of all the people you know there are probably ten people that you can truly trust not to be secretly in love with, want to sleep with or try to steal your girlfriend. I'm alright with this. People can <em>want </em>to do this all they wish, but it doesn't mean they will. It's a part of everyday life, like crabs. There's ten you can trust, another ten that you know you can't under any circumstances and then everyone else either wants her and can't get her or doesn't matter. That's it. It's just how men are. We're from Venus or something.</p>
<p>The Miwaukee Brewers are men and they are no different. (This is the part of the post where I try to make this somehow Brewers related.) We learned in the past few weeks what former Packer (that's not named <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/archives/sports/2000/09/24/2000-09-24_scandal_creates_state_of_sho.html" target="_blank">Mark Chmura</a> (note who he hung out with in his time here *cough*how-didn't-we-see-this-coming*cough*)) you should keep as far as you can away from your wife or girlfriend, but what about the Brewers? We know that Alcides Escobar abandoned his wife and kid for another woman, but what about the rest of them? It's hard to know who to trust and who not to trust. They all seem so nice when they're taking batting practice! How could anyone of them be bad guys? But some of them have to be. Tiger Woods slept with a thousand women so that means most athletes aren't good people when it comes to other men's girlfriends. That's just science.</p>
<p>That's why I made a few guesses and completely made up this:</p>
<h2>The 2010 Milwaukee Brewers Trust Index</h2>
<blockquote><p>+10 Craig Counsell</p>
<p>+9 Chris Capuano (Refrains from sex in fear of needing another Tommy John surgery.)</p>
<p>+8 Trevor Hoffman (Old balls.)</p>
<p>+7 Casey McGehee</p>
<p>+6 Corey Hart (Can't afford the child support caused by potential divorce.)</p>
<p>+5 Prince Fielder (Chanel won't let him out of the house long enough.)</p>
<p>+4Yovani Gallardo</p>
<p>+3 Todd Coffey (Clearly in the "HAHAHA YEAH RIGHT!" category.)</p>
<p>+2 LaTroy Hawkins</p>
<p>+1 Carlos Gomez (Probably strikes out as much with the ladies as he does at the plate. Hey-yo!)</p>
<p>0 Rickie Weeks (Scores a 0 ranking because I would probably let him sleep with my girlfriend if he stayed healthy for 2011 too.)</p>
<p>0 Randy Wolf (He seems happy with <a href="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/randywolf3-300x210.jpg" target="_blank">his lady</a>.)</p>
<p>0 Kameron Loe (Big snake is all the company he needs.)</p>
<p>0 Dave Bush (He's got as much chance to steal someone's girlfriend as he does to get re-signed.)</p>
<p>-1 Chris Narveson</p>
<p>-2 Lorenzo Cain</p>
<p>-3 John Axford (Two words: Mustache Rides.)</p>
<p>-4 Doug Davis (Can't trust a guy with a goatee like that.)</p>
<p>-5 Carlos Villanueva (I trust him as much with my girlfriend as I trust him out of the bullpen.)</p>
<p>-6 Mat Gamel ("Hey girl I'm an up and coming hitter with moppy hair.")</p>
<p>-7 Ryan Braun (Or Why I Don't Go On Dates To Ryan Braun's Restaurant.)</p>
<p>-8 Alcides Escobar (-10 ranking only stopped by pock face.)</p>
<p>-9 George Kottaras (He may be Canadian, but he's way too good looking to rank any higher. I heard he stole three people's girlfriends just by coming up to bat last season.)</p>
<p>-10 Jeremy Jeffress (The ultimate girl's dream: young and rich with lots of good weed. That's what your mom likes, right?)</p></blockquote>
<p>Am I right? Am I wrong? Does it really matter? They're baseball players, keep them away from your women!</p>
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		<title>Announcement: What the Bucks</title>
		<link>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/announcement-what-the-bucks/</link>
		<comments>http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/off-base/announcement-what-the-bucks/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 14 Sep 2010 16:37:43 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Vince Morales</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Off-Base]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[andrew bogut]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[applause]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[basketball fan]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[basketball players]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bradley center]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[Miller Park]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newcomers]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[what the bucks]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/?p=2605</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[You may have noticed a lack of posting in the past couple weeks here. There are a couple of reasons for this. For one, we're still nursing a hangover from the Pants Party. (Have I mentioned how awesome that was? Check out the photo album!) The other main thing that has been slowing us down [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>You may have noticed a lack of posting in the past couple weeks here. There are a couple of reasons for this. For one, we're still nursing a hangover from the <strong><a href="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/miller-park-drunks-pants-party/" target="_blank">Pants Party</a></strong>. (Have I mentioned how awesome that was? Check out the <a href="http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=201754&amp;id=71078688126" target="_blank">photo album</a>!) The other main thing that has been slowing us down is our development of a spinoff website. That's right, Miller Park Drunk is getting it's own <em>Joey</em>. Never again will you have to worry about "Bradley Center Drunk" lurking his head around these parts again because we now have our very own Bucks blogs.</p>
<p>(*waits for applause*)</p>
<p>(*gives up*)</p>
<p><a title="What the Bucks" href="http://whatthebucks.com" target="_blank"><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-2606" title="whatthebuckslogo" src="http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/whatthebuckslogo-300x191.jpg" alt="" width="300" height="191" /></a></p>
<p>I'm sure you have questions so we will attempt to answer them here.<span id="more-2605"></span></p>
<p><strong>Why a Bucks website?</strong></p>
<p>Because a Packers blog would be stupid.</p>
<p>I've always been a big basketball fan and would argue, to the death, that basketball players (not named Eddy Curry) are the greatest athletes in the world. Also I hate to say it, but the players on the Bucks are far more interesting than the players on the Brewers. One only need to look at <a href="http://twitter.com/cdouglasroberts" target="_blank">Chris Douglas-Roberts twitter</a> to know that's true.</p>
<p><strong>Don't the Bucks like suck and stuff?</strong></p>
<p>Actually last season they won 46 games and look to improve on that this season. Brandon Jennings is back for his second year along with John Salmons, Andrew Bogut, Carlos Delfino and Ersan Ilyasova. When you add in newcomers Corey Maggette, Chris Douglas-Roberts, Larry Sanders and Drew Gooden you find the Bucks have a very deep roster that should put them in an excellent position to make the playoffs for the next few years. I like them.</p>
<p><strong>Are you just going to quit doing Miller Park Drunk now? I hate basketball.</strong></p>
<p>Miller Park Drunk will remain my priority. Honestly, I don't know as much about basketball as I do about baseball and I won't pretend to try. Then again I've never been big on the whole "analysis" thing anyways. I will still update this site regularly throughout the winter and onto next season. That being said, it's not a side project and I will be giving my all to make it a success. I think the Bucks are on the verge of becoming a crucial part of our sports experience in Wisconsin and I want to be a part of it.</p>
<p><strong>Woah that last sentence was weird.</strong></p>
<p>I know, right?</p>
<p><strong>Is it going to be just like Miller Park Drunk except about the Bucks?</strong></p>
<p>It's not going to be "Bradley Center Drunk" if that's what you mean, but at the same time if you like this site you will probably like that site assuming you like the Bucks. It's not like I'm some sort of multi-faceted writer.</p>
<p><strong>Are you even a Bucks fan?</strong></p>
<p>I covered this in my <a href="http://whatthebucks.com/nba-basketball/milwaukee-bucks/15/what-the-bucks-an-introduction.htm" target="_blank">introductory post</a> at What the Bucks, but the short of it is: I am now. That's all you need to know.</p>
<p><strong>Anything else we should know?</strong></p>
<p>I've considered starting a Bucks blog for some time now, but it wasn't until I saw this that I knew I had to do it.</p>
<p><object classid="clsid:d27cdb6e-ae6d-11cf-96b8-444553540000" width="480" height="385" codebase="http://download.macromedia.com/pub/shockwave/cabs/flash/swflash.cab#version=6,0,40,0"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true" /><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always" /><param name="src" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/oVhs4jACVbA?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" /><param name="allowfullscreen" value="true" /><embed type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="480" height="385" src="http://www.youtube.com/v/oVhs4jACVbA?fs=1&amp;hl=en_US" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true"></embed></object></p>
<p>Gonna be a fun season.</p>
<h2 style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.whatthebucks.com" target="_blank">what the bucks</a> | <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/What-the-Bucks/125035894214006?ref=sgm" target="_blank">facebook</a> | <a href="http://twitter.com/WhatTheBucks" target="_blank">twitter</a> | <a href="http://feeds.feedburner.com/WhatTheBucks" target="_blank">rss </a></h2>
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