The Chicago Cubs unveiled their unBEARably cute new mascot this week and his name is Clark and He Is Adorable. No, seriously, I was going to write this thing making fun of them for having this kid friendly new mascot, but then I saw this picture:
And I fell in love. Seriously, he's like a grown up Teddy Ruxpin. I just want to put tapes into his back and have him read me bedtime stories forever. When it's really cold out I want to curl up next to him and have him take me with him into hibernation land where our dreams will come alive and we will ride unicorns into rainbows. He's the sweetest, most cuddliest mascot I have ever seen. He's like Bango if Bango worked for a professional sports team. The Cubs really nailed it on this one and I were the Brewers I'd really be worried about losing fans who only liked the team because of Bernie Brewer because Clark makes Bernie look like... well, the Brewers.But fear not Brewers fans who can't make it down to Chicago to meet the loving, bear shaped father figure that is sorely lacking in their life, I'm sure that Clark will make his way up to Miller Park this season to visit. Much like the Twins mascot, TC Bear, who always makes it down to Milwaukee to hang out with his pal Bernie when the Twins come to town. Clark will probably come to Miller Park as well to cater to the fans who traveled all the way from places like Greenfield and Kenosha to support their Cubs. And why not? If you are going to buy tickets to an away park the least that home team can do is let your mascot come, sell your merchandise and let your team bat last. This is America gosh dangit!
As anyone who has seen the show Behind the Mask knows being a mascot is a full time job. It's not just showing up for work, putting on a costume and walking around. It takes WORK and this work extends to the offseason. So in order to ignore the awkwardness that comes with a first date the Brewers and Cubs set up Bernie Brewer and Clark on a "play date" to get acclimated before the season. They do it for you, the fans.
I think it went well.