Welcome to the NEW and IMPROVED Miller Park Drunk. I'm Chad and I am the new boss (and yes that is me bombin' two Old Styles at once,WHAT). Your prolly thinking "why is this dude in a Cubs jersey who can drink two Old Styles at a time and is obviously a pimp buying a site called Miller Park Drunk? Well, if there is one thing I have learned in my life it's that you don't have to like the Brewers to get drunk at Miller Park! Heck, you don't even have to like baseball! In the history of Miller Park the best drunks have ALWAYS come from Chi-town.

look at me i'm the old editor, i'm a stupid faget

"look at me i'm the old editor, i'm stupid"

For real though, I been reading this website for awhile and thought it was pretty frickin' funny. I just knew that I could make it better. How? By making it about the Cubs, DUH!!!! So I took some money out of my trust fund and gave that idiot who was running it an offer he couldn't refuse (fifty bucks, a 12 pack of Milwaukee's Best and the issue of Playboy with Sable from WWF.) You Wisconsin folk are so simple.

Things are gonna be a bit different around here now. First order of business is to make up for all the dumb stuff this idiot said before. Like who doesn't like a good retro jersey? My prized possession is my autographed Sosa jersey. I'm not supposed to wear that just because he's not on the team anymore? BITE ME MILLER PARK DRUNK! Did Paul Moliter ever hit 60 homers in a season? Didn't think so! How about Robin Yount? No? I CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Anyways that's enough for the day I gotta head down to the Cubby Bear for a little pregame before the Cubs WHOOP some Brewers ASS tonight. That's right, Ryan Braun does my taxes. I'll be the dude in the autographed Sosa jersey sipping on Old Style. If you see me come say whats up and maybe I'll give you a little tug off my flask. Jack Daniels? YOU DAMN RIGHT JACK DANIELS.

Tomorrow we should have some more awesome, way better than before stuff including a VERY SPECIAL GUEST WRITER who I think kicks total ass and more stuff that kicks ass. Have fun watching the game tonight, I know I will.

PREDICTION: Cubs 17 Brewers 1. Theriot hits for the cycle.

15 comments on “Meet the new boss, much cooler than the old boss

  1. Anonymous on said:

    I … don’t believe it.

  2. Anonymous on said:

    Well…I guess this is one less blog I’ll be visiting.

  3. Anonymous on said:

    Sorry, I used to think Cubs fans were obnoxious but now I know better. Thanks for showing me the way.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    So sad that it has come to this… I’ll definitely miss viewing my favorite Brewers blog and reading the posts of one of the most dedicated fans out there.

  5. Anonymous on said:

    This is just sick & wrong. I can’t even bring myself to sign in properly.


  6. Anonymous on said:

    Sure looks like the new boss is full of fail.

  7. Anonymous on said:

    this has to be a joke

  8. Anonymous on said:

    Dude this new guy is the shit! We need to totaly support him. Two beers at once he’s crazy I want to hang with this dude

  9. Anonymous on said:

    Not buying it… I didn’t fall for T-shirt Hell’s “We’re closing… Just kidding” sale and I’m not buying this… I call shenanegins!

  10. Anonymous on said:

    this is pretty damn funny

  11. Anonymous on said:

    for $85,000,000 in off season spending the Cubs are still.

  12. Anonymous on said:

    An example of the phrase ‘sick and twisted’, only switched around to make a point that whatever happened is completely unexpected and seriously warped.
    “Dude, you’re pregnant and you’ve decided to become a guy?! That is twick and sisted!!”

  13. Anonymous on said:

    Ill counter your offer sir…a 12 pack of PBR, a roofie so you can get laid, and an autographed Bartman photo. Have your people call my people.

  14. Anonymous on said:

    I’m over this stupid joke. I’m giving you 24 hours to bring back the much more clever Miller Park Drunk before I delete this blog from my Google Reader. What can I say? I’m tough, but fair.

  15. Pingback: Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009 | Miller Park Drunk

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