I have been a Cubs fan all my life ever since the day my mom dropped me off at my dad's and he sat me down in front of the TV when I was two years old and told me to stop crying and watch the Cubbies. I watched Harry Caray that day and I thought "I wish this guy was my dad." (KIDDING POPS!) I was hooked from the start. Since then I have attended numerous Cubs games both at Wrigley and in Milwaukee. Yet every time I have gone to Milwaukee and every time I have written for this website, I have been hated. WHY?
I don't get it. I have been going to Wisconsin my whole life. We have a summer home in Lake Geneva. We spend money at your restaurants. We pay your parking tickets. We go to your ballpark and we sell the place out. Then we stay in your crappy hotels (can a brother get a Drake Hotel?) and eat at your crappy restaurants (oooh fried cod, how original). Yet when we show up at the game we get shit on. What did we ever do to you? Besides, you know, be better than you at baseball.
It's gotta be jealousy. You have a dude like Paul Moliter, we had Ryne Sandburg. You had a dude like Greg Vaughn, we had a SAMMY SOSA. We spend tons of money to make our team better, you draft guys and hope they work out. You idiots like to say "oh you haven't won a Series since 1918", but have you ever even been to the World Series? Didn't think so.
I mean just because you guys have to live in Wisconsin and eat wheels of cheese for dinner every night doesn't mean you have to take it out on us. Sorry we live in a real city with real people in it. Wisconsin probably wouldn't even be there if it wasn't for us and our money, it'd probably just get sucked into Canada and nobody would ever notice. SO GET OVER IT.
We are the real fans and the fact that you hate us just proves it. When I am in the stands yelling "Ryan Braun is a faggot" that shows how much I love my team and the fact that you tell me to shut up proves that you don't. Why not stick up for yourself instead? You think I care about little kids in the stands? They need to learn at an early age that the Cubs are amazing and not to waste their time on the Brewers. If I say Princess Fielder's slave name is Kunta Kinte, so what? I paid to be there I can say whatever I want. It's dickholes like you Brewers fans that turn it into something bad. I'm not racist, I am just trying to get in his head so he strikes out. Excuse me for being a fan.
When I took over this blog I thought we could turn it into something really special and I have written some REALLY AMAZING FUNNY stuff and scored an AMAZIN INTERVIEW~, but I guess writing better and funnier stuff isn't what you guys are looking for if it's not about your precious Brewers who, by the way, are in third place (I know this because the Wrigley flags tell me so) and have gotten their ASSES KICKED by the Cubs the past two days.
The deal is the Cubs are going to win the World Series next year and you dumbasses in Wisconsin aren't even going to know it because you are too busy drinking brandy old fashions, watching the Packers and complaining about Brett Favre. So why don't you stop pretending you even like baseball and just give us the keys to Miller Park already?
(And if you do like baseball, there is still plenty of room on the bandwagon.)