Let's do things a little differently today. I am going to show you a few pictures and you can decide for yourself how you feel about them. Then when we are done with that, I am going to tell you exactly how I feel about them. Sound good? Good.

banana asshole

gorilla assholes

keg asshole(Thanks to StB08 on Twitter)

bunny asshole

Now, taken one at a time these people could be considered funny, cool or at the very least creative. I give them kudos for their creativity and enthusiasm. However, I seriously doubt their intentions. When you are dressing up like this, you aren't going to the game to watch the team play. You are going to the game to get attention. Of course these people want the Brewers to win the game, but what REALLY makes them happy is for people to give them high-fives and say "Oh man, I love your costume." And you know what? I am not going to do it. I am not going to give them the adulation they so desperately seek. They are attention whores. Plain and simple. The only attention whores I like are the ones who double as regular whores too.

Every single series I go to I end up seeing more and more of these people. They multiply like someone poured water on Gizmo's back. I'm not saying I want to live in a world where these people don't exist. Like my mom used to tell me, every family needs a big, fat, stupid idiot. The thing is there are far too many of these people out there right now and if someone doesn't say something now this may spin out of control. To the point where every game starts to look more like a costume party at Elton John's condo than a baseball game.

So here I am saying it: cut it out. You hear me guys in the gorilla outfits? That can't be comfortable and this isn't a freaking Phoenix Suns game. You hear me banana guy? I honestly don't even understand what you are going for there. You hear me rabbit head? (Actually, you probably don't. That head looks pretty thick.) This is a BASEBALL game, you are here to watch BASEBALL. Save your furry fantasies for the bedroom. I swear to you that you can have fun at this place without dressing like that. SO STOP IT.

(None of the above applies to shave stuff in your chest guy. Don't ever change my friend.)

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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9 comments on “Enough with the gimmicks people

  1. BlatzLiquor on said:

    But the Rally Rabbit only came out after the 7th inning when a rally was needed…

  2. Amen! We don’t need to be behind the doufus in the rainbow wig who wants to be on television. It is a ballgame. You are there to watch it, not for people to watch you. And don’t get me started on the yahoos behind the plate that spend more time on their phone than watching the game. You are not being cute when you speak to a friend and waive to them over the airwaves.

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  4. Miller Park Drunk on said:

    @BlatzLiquor You see that’s the time that this sort of thing doesn’t bother me. There’s always that one guy who is way too excited and desperately wants everyone to cheer. That guy can be annoying when it’s not necessary, but he can be effective when it is. If said person wants to wear a funny head, I guess I am okay with it. It just not my cup of tea.

  5. kevin on said:

    You forgot about the freak in the green suit. Everyone has to be thrilled to see Green mans lil rally wiener.

  6. Farraway Boy on said:

    Now don’t be talking bad about Green Man. He’s the next internet sensation!

  7. Anonymous on said:

    Come on… Its called having fun at a game. I understand both sides though. I remember seeing the banana guy. U were wondering where he was going with this? You cant see it in the photo but he actually has “Braun-ana” written on it. quite clever if you ask me.

  8. Anonymous on said:

    Guess we should get rid of cheese heads at packer games too. Also get rid of Bernie and the sausages. Not acceptable to have harmfulness fun at a ballpark.

  9. Anonymous on said:

    This guy running this website is a dumbass. It is pure fun, and it only get the crowd pumped up. I was at the first game when these gorillas appeared and the crew was down by three and ended up coming back in the 9th. The place was insane and it was a great atmosphere. Just because one idiot on a website is jealous or has nothing else to write about doesnt mean the other 42,000+ fans dont like it.

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