The many styles of Ryan Braun, part four

After thinking Ryan Braun looked so good yesterday the Fashion Police return to find Braunie Remetee-ing it up again.

 

Tyler: I'm going to tap out at 3 photos. I don't know how much more I can write about Ryan Braun's fashion sense this lifetime.

Stephanie: There is absolutely nothing positive I can say about this. Oh wait, at least his hair is short here? This is the worst out of all of his outfits thus far. It combines all the worst elements of a wardrobe; dbag t-shirt, embellished man jeans and some odd pinstripe suit coat. The only explanation is that he was all strung out on LimeLite and Valtrex when he decided on wearing this outfit.

I cannot get over those jeans. What the hell is that on the side? Is that his uncircumcised bedazzled penis floating around?

Remember what I said about giving Braun access to Vagtown? Well I apologize for my lapse in judgement, I was foolish. We all know that this, right here, is the Braun we all have come to know over the past years. This is the Bruan whom I cannot stand unless he is on a baseball field.

Vince: Jeez Steph tell me how you really feel. I realize that Ryan Braun is wearing a horrible t-shirt, ridiculous jeans and a coat that doesn't really "work." I also realize that he is wearing this outfit to a Grammy Awards Nominations Concert (whatever the hell that is) and could probably be getting laid by Taylor Swift or something if he would just dress a little nicer, but still. Maybe we are looking at this thing all wrong. I mean, you have to give Ryan Braun (the marketer) credit. He wears those Remetee shirts everywhere he goes and makes sure that you know it, looks be damned. He is nothing if not dedicated. You should also probably give Ryan Braun (the brand) credit for making sure he is always seen and photographed at things like this. Without that brand we wouldn't be here making fun of this right now. I mean, that has to count for something right?

I guess what I'm saying is, yeah, I hate this outfit too. It's so bad it made Tyler quit writing and I would not be caught dead in the same aisle of the store as those jeans, but it's Ryan Braun. If we love John Axford because he has a mustache and we love Nyjer Morgan because he's blackcentric (black and eccentric, a word I just invented) then we should probably love Ryan Braun because he's a douchebag with bad fashion sense and herpes (allegedly) too. I guess what I am saying is Ryan Braun grew up in LA, went to college in Miami and tries to brand himself as a superstar beyond sports. Should it surprise us at all that he dresses like this and thinks this outfit is cool?

It's not cool, but Ryan Braun thinks it is and as long as he's a Brewer we can just kind of smile and nod and pretend he looks good in it. Plus, he's only 28. Maybe he'll figure it out one day. After all, I didn't start wearing sweater vests til I was 30 and look at how stylish I am.

Okay, bad example.

But, seriously f*** those jeans.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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2 comments on “The many styles of Ryan Braun, part four

  1. That’s not a sweater vest – that’s a wicked cool faux down vest! Very Nappy – you sir, are a man of infinite moods.

  2. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    I was also going to note that that is not a sweater vest, but Tuco beat me to it.

    And Ryan Braun? I’m on board with the sport-coat-and-jeans look. Just not those jeans. And that is not a sport coat. However, a valid point was made that he is dedicated to the success of the Remetee/Ryan Braun brand, and dedication is cool.

    But not cool enough to forgive that ensemble.

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