What Your Shirsey Says About You

February 15th, 2012

A lot of people don't really like the shirsey (t-shirt jersey), but I have personally always been a fan of them. It's a good way to casually date a player before committing and making it facebook official. Plus, it's a great way to support a player that you know will only be with the team for a short time. Like when the Brewers made the trade for K-Rod last year. You can support him because he's pretty freakin' awesome, but you also don't have to blow a bunch of money when you know there is no way he'll be back in 2012. (Wait, what?!) It also works great for when you want to support an underutilized bench player that could be released or sent down at any moment. (I don't know why, but purchasing that Brad Nelson shirsey really seemed like a great idea at the time.) Shirseys are fun and an MPD approved fashion item.

However, I should warn you about them. While shirseys are cool they also say a lot about you as a person. Anyone can get a Ryan Braun jersey and remain a relative enigma to strangers (because it's freakin' Ryan Braun), but the purchase of a specific player's shirsey tells people things and opens you up to a whole mess of assumptions about your character. I want you to be ready for that, I want you to know what your shirsey says about you so you can purchase accordingly and that is why I made this list. See what a nice guy I am?

  • Ryan Braun: You are too cheap to buy a Ryan Braun jersey. I mean, really.
  • Gabe Kapler: You are Jewish.
  • John Axford: lol mustaches bro
  • Randy Wolf: You wanted to be different, but you aren't really happy with your purchase.
  • George Kottaras: You are a chick. Or Randy Wolf.
  • Rickie Weeks: You are cool with me. Let's be best friends.
  • CC Sabathia: You think 2008 was the f***ing best year ever.
  • Todd Coffey: Sup fatty?
  • Corey Hart: Big Larry The Cable Guy fan.
  • Robin Yount: You grew up in the 80s and you think life will never get as good as it was then. You love Motley Crue.
  • Greg Vaughn: You grew up in the 90s and holy crap does your life suck.
  • Prince Fielder: You think it's okay because you're a Tigers fan too. It is not okay.
  • Pat Listach: 1992 Rookie of the Year NEVER FORGET
  • Trevor Hoffman: You've been burned on shirseys before and you are not getting a new one. MPD is a stupid site anyways, what do they know about fashion?
  • Tony Plush: Ugh.
  • Seth McClung: You wear this shirt in protest of Brewers management, hoping someone from "upstairs" sees it and brings him back. Let it go.
  • Gorman Thomas: You met him once and you wear this shirt just so you can tell people the story. In your defense: cool story, bro.
  • Bill Schroeder: There is something wrong with you.
  • JJ Hardy: Dumb bitch.
  • Jason Kendall: You just escaped from prison.
  • Kameron Loe: You spent Valentine's Day alone.
  • Any of the racing sausages: You want people to think you're a fun guy. We just think you are dumb. Watch the damn game.
  • Craig Counsell: You like "gritty" ballplayers. You're probably just racist. Or a girl.
  • Eric Gagne: You shop at thrift stores.
  • Casey McGehee: You don't really care how he plays because you're a fan of his work in the community. (You know what? Good for you.)
  • Shaun Marcum: You're not sure what happened in the playoffs last season.
  • Ben Sheets: You haven't really been paying attention to the Brewers lately.
  • Jeff Suppan: You have never paid attention to the Brewers ever.
  • Doug Davis: Your pockets are filled with roofies. Call security.
  • K-Rod: Found it at the team store before the arbitration hearing.
  • Bill Hall: You got invited to the game at the last second and didn't have anything else to wear.
  • Solomon Torres: You are a pretty big Brewers fan, but you've fallen on hard times lately and you just can't afford a new one. Once things start looking up though the first thing you'll do is get a new one. You're thinking John Axford, you know, to keep with the whole closer motif.
  • Manny Parra: Married to Manny Parra.
  • Yuniesky Betancourt: You really suck at baseball. (Just kidding these ones don't even exist.)

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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10 comments on “What Your Shirsey Says About You

  1. Herbert Hoover on said:

    What about Johnny Estrada? What about Chorizo? What about Uecker?
    There are some things that really need to be added to this.
    And I STILL like Yuniesky Betancourt – he did hit .310 in the postseason.

  2. Herbert Hoover on said:

    Damnit I just saw the racing sausages. Damn my reading comprehension!

  3. I have a DAVE BUSH t-shirt. NO SHAME! :)

  4. Michelle on said:

    I would love to know what you could have possibly searched for that led you to a photo of me and my friends posing with a complete stranger is Las Vegas! And, for the record, I have a Kottaras shirsey. And 3 different Brauns. And Rickie Weeks. And Trevor Hoffman. I think that’s it. But still, funny to read this and see myself in the picture!

  5. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    SOMEONE has a Torres-regret. Wow.

  6. S. R. D. on said:

    Felipe Lopez! RUSSELL THE MUSCLE! Manny parra with no. 43! Johnny Estrada!

    And how’d you forget gamel, aramis, and zackkk?!!!!

  7. morineko on said:

    I’m one of those girls with Counsell shirseys. Sadly it’s probably more in honor of his 2001 than 2007-11, but whatever. It took me about a half-hour to decide between that and a Narveson one.

    (Surprisingly–or not–don’t own a McClung one. For any of his teams.)

  8. disgustingbastard on said:

    got my dad a t. plush shirsey today for his birthday. fuck a hater. I had a burnitz one, but i got too fat. mpd for life.

  9. Podzilla & El Caballo & Jenkins -

  10. I own a Lyle Overbay shirsey. No shame.

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