We get a lot of hits from search engines. Almost 3000 last month alone. Sometimes it's people looking for our site who are too lazy to type the address in and other times it's people trying to find pictures of Randy Wolf's girlfriend. Which I love because this is what they find:

That picture gets me every time.

Anyways, some of the search terms are kind of insane and hilarious and we thought it'd be fun to share some of the better ones.

These are all real.

Best of August search terms:

1. is ryan braun gay?
2. employment application miller park drunk (Hm?)
3. zack hample douche
4. corey hart jewish
5. does rickie weeks have kids
6. is felipe lopez the cardinals player married
7. ryan braun is gay
8. ryan braun douchebag
9. start charcoal grill windy
10. "peeing the bed" drunken
11. "red-headed stepson" - meaning
12. "spotted cow" hangovers
13. "stadium bathroom", slut
14. "you're getting laid, i'm getting paid, and we're doing it drunk
15. 2 guys having sex in a bathroom
16. "what about your family" "friends" "you suck"
17. 70's movie poster with kid smoking
18. a list of ryan braun's favorite things
19. a-rod shirt off
20. alcohol into baseball water bottle
21. almost hentai
22. alyssa milano drinking
23. average beers drank at a football game
24. baby at a brewers game
25. baby haircuts, waukesha, wi
26. ballpark drunk pee pants
27. baseball player orgy
28. beamer benz or bentley ryan braun
29. beautiful women who go to miller park
30. beer brats dutch oven
31. beers with sexual innuendo
32. bewers slut
33. big tuna milwaukee
34. bill hall drinking
35. bob howry girlfriend
36. bob uecker drunk in booth pictures
37. bobblehead beer drinking female
38. boobs of miller park
39. brewer's drunk blog
40. brewers fan cubs penis
41. brewers zubaz
42. can you have your shirt off at miller park?
43. carlos gomez no future with brewers
44. catfight drinking
45. chris chelios likes bob uecker
46. corey hart admits to not trying
47. cory heart baseball cards
48. did they really find sperm in rod stewarts stomach
49. do all drunks beat their wives
50. do you need tickets for babies at brewers games
51. does rickie weeks have a tatoe
52. doug melvin stupid
53. drink beer three times a week and alka seltzer
54. drunk cubs fans blog
55. drunk cubs fans pictures
56. drunk girl fuck slepp
57. drunk girl in the bathroom sex
58. drunk guys in the washroom
59. drunk ladies that want to fuck
60. drunk priceless
61. drunk sucking puke
62. drunken baseball girls thong
63. dusty baker drunk
64. ed sedar brewers first base coach married?
65. friends having sex in the bathroom --- perfect girls
66. fuck yeah ryan braun
67. funny mexican shirts
68. george kottaras crazy ex
69. girls random halloween costumes
70. good reply to are you still mad
71. got sick after eating at ryan brawns resturant
72. ha ha im drunk and at miller park in milwaukee
73. hey rayan this is me
74. horse sexual innuendos
75. how do people have sex in the bathroom
76. how easy is it to get laid in costa rica
77. how many beers to get a hangover
78. how old are all rod stewarts kids
79. how to find out if remetee shirts is real
80. how to have drunk sex
81. how to sneak alcohol into a theme park
82. how to sneak in booz to wa water park
83. howto have sex with your own hand
84. i get drunk before i have sex
85. i had sex in miller park
86. if im at miller park can i give my son a beer
87. images of people with cigarette and drunk in crowded area
88. is ryan braun fat?
89. isnt it time to fire ken macha
90. joe mauer crotch
91. jon miller espn is a drunk
92. lost glasses at miller park in wisconsin
93. manny parra gay
94. mens lame pants
95. meth slut
96. miller park druk
97. miller park drun
98. milwaukee fuck gay
99. milwaukee orgy
100. movie about crazy people who go on a field trip
101. movie sugar sucked
102. movie sugar why does he quit baseball
103. penis flask for sneaking
104. pitcher from the milwaukee brewers that drank beer
105. polo players with there faimly
106. rapist mustache
107. ryan braun nude
108. ryan braun personal pictures with no shirt
109. sad little girls
110. science why are showers good for hangovers
111. sensual massage near wrigley field
112. sex act youtube
113. shaved cubs chest
114. shirt i don't get drunk get awesome brewers
115. singles night miller park review
116. slutty cubs fans
117. slutty drunks
118. something to do when it's raining in wisconsin
119. statues you can pour liquor into
120. suck drunk boy
121. t h o n g showing
122. the almust nice thing in the life
123. the movie sugar does he turn out to be in the major leagues
124. the trinity a sexual thing among nba players
125. things to do in st. louis when its raining
126. things you could do in the 70s that you can't fo now
127. troy tulowitzki a douchebag?
128. troy tulowitzki douchebag
129. two guys having sex in the bathroom
130. we got high then he wanted me to suck his cock
131. what are some lame insults?
132. what baseball team does zack hample hate
133. what do ppl do to a guy when they are drunk
134. what does ryan braun "need" to eat before every game?
135. what the hell is prince fielder's walk-up song
136. what to do on a drunken night in milwaukee
137. whats a pants party
138. whats the website where people talk about people from milwaukee
139. where can you have a drunk orgy?
140. where does bob uecher live
141. where does cliff lees family live
142. where does prince fielder live in milwaukee
143. where does rickie weeks live
144. why do drunk people dont listen
145. wife sucks park
146. wife waiting drunk in bed
147. worlds sluttiest walk
148. www.watch my girlfriend drunk.com
149. zach braddock dui

Once again these are all real searches. Really.

Okay? Really.

Welcome to a new feature here at Miller Park Drunk, the Comment of the Week post. That's right, a long time favorite of lazy bloggers who don't feel like writing a full post is now featured right here on the #1 fringe Brewers blog on the internet. You see we love when people comment on our articles, it makes us feel all warm and fuzzy inside, and that's why we make it so easy to do. Did you know you don't even have to enter your name? It's true. Commenting is fun and easy. Who knows, if you play your cards right and start commenting next week we could be recognizing you in this very space!

This week's Comment of the Week comes from an older post, but is just too good not to recognize. The post "JASON KENDALLS EX-WIFE IS DATING ROD STEWARTS SON" was originally posted in March of this year so whoever found this post had to be searching something specific.

The original post was based on Jason Kendall's ongoing divorce from his wife Chantel and her new boyfriend, Sean Stewart, son of Rod Stewart. In the post we featured a quote where Chantel accused Jason of being addicted to Adderall. Later, after the post was published, Jason answered her claims by saying:

"I attribute those changes to the fact that I was married to an alcoholic and drug-addicted woman who abandoned our children, regularly punched me, and was unfaithful."

So yeah, other people's drama is fun.

Anyways, this week's Comment of the Week comes from Some Random Drunk with a Los Angeles, CA IP address (Sean Stewart? Another spurned lover? Diehard Kendall fan? Haha, just kidding like Kendall has a diehard fan.) who said:

She is a hooker. She has been paid for sex. She uses babies as a way to trap men and money. She is drug addict whore. Someone needs to tie her tubes. Waste of space trick ass bitch.

Alright-y then.

Good work crazy anonymous commenter, congratulations on being the winner of this week's Comment of the Week. Live it up.

Disappointing.

Stupid.

Just doesn't get it.

A complete and total letdown.

What do these words in common? They aren't words that my parents used to describe me. Those involve much more f-words. No, they are all words and phrases people have used to describe Manny Parra. Last week Manny Parra was removed from the starting rotation and the talk about him, his potential and his future place in Milwaukee reached it's zenith.

Manny Parra is one of the most divisive figures in the Milwaukee Brewers organization and everyone has their own opinion on him. We once said that Manny Parra was the one and only job that Rick Peterson had when he joined this organization. (Fire Rick Peterson!) Whether we like it or not as Brewers fans Manny Parra is deep in our DNA, like herpes.

The thing is and always has been that Manny Parra does have talent, a lot of it. Maybe more than any starter that hasn't been robbed a gunpoint. Everyone knows this. We're at the point now where talking about Manny Parra is bordering on obsession. I spend more time on the internet reading and writing about Manny Parra than I do googling pictures of Christina Hendricks. That's just not right.

Anyways, as with any post about Manny Parra we need to get the required "Manny is actually kinda good" stuff out of the way first. I'm going to let other blogs do the heavy lifting on this one.

From BrewCrewBall:

The Brewers started the 2010 season with Parra in the bullpen. He was moved to the rotation and has started 13 games. He's responded with the best strikeout rate of his career (over 9 per 9) and has dropped his walk rate back down to about 4.3 per 9. His FIP is at 4.6, with a bad rate on home runs: his expected FIP is right at 4. The BABIP is right back up in the .360s, however, and his rates of line drives, fly balls, and ground balls are similar to last year's, and they're pretty much fine. And his ERA is 5.6.

If you're skeptical of FIP and tERA makes more sense to you, look at it this way: in the past three years, Parra's expected ERA based on his amount of line drives, fly balls, groundballs, strikeouts, and walks allowed, have been: 4.67, 4.78, and 4.67 again this year.

Something very strange is going on with Manny Parra. If someone can give me a justifiable reason why Parra is carrying the one of the highest BABIPs in history, I'm willing to listen.

So, Manny Parra is the same pitcher he's always been despite performing noticeably worse the last two years, but that's mostly because he gives up a lot of hits and homeruns. He's just run into some bad luck or something else, something presumably far more sinister. He's not this bad and this should even itself out at some point.  Maybe.

Got it.

Now for Disciples of Uecker:

The problem for Parra is the 6th inning. Parra has made it to the 6th inning in 16 games (including, I believe, one relief appearance). He has recorded 29 outs in these 16 games, allowing 18 earned runs, 25 hits, and 16 walks while striking out 15. I think it’s fair to say that Manny has “lost it” in the sixth inning on multiple (almost every?) occasion in which he’s had the chance.

The previous five innings are pretty good. 79 innings pitched, 40 ER (4.56 ERA), 81 Ks, 36 BBs. The only black spot is 13 HRs, and that’s a number that will likely regress, as Parra’s HR/FB rate is a career high this season. I’m hard pressed to explain why Parra struggles so mightily in the sixth inning. This isn’t an isolated issue for 2010, either – he has a 9.20 ERA in the sixth inning for his career.

So Manny Parra is an average to above average pitcher before the fifth inning then the wheels come off and he totally sucks. Got it.

See? Some times advanced statistics can prove exactly what we thought about people all along. Manny Parra is an underachiever who hasn't improved during his time with the team who gives up too many hits and homeruns despite being really good at striking people out. Also, he sucks after the fifth inning. I wonder if there's an advanced statistic that proves how easy your mom is.

It's hard not to hate him for this. He's talented, he's not working to get better and he's kind of good looking. He's everything I hate! It's like looking in a mirror! A mirror of self hate! He ruined my life!

Still, maybe we shouldn't hate him. I mean, he might figure it out one day and then it would be all weird between us. We should try not to hate him. We don't have to like him, but we should at least try and get along. Like I did with my mom and my new stepdad. Actually, that's a bad example. I still hate that asshole.

Anyway, here's five reasons not to have Manny Parra.

5. He's not Jeff Suppan: I realize that we all need someone to hate now that Jeff Suppan is gone, but it's not Manny. Manny can surprise you. Remember when he struck out four Cardinals in one inning this season? That was AWESOME. Jeff Suppan would have never done something like that. He probably would have struck one person out, gave up three homeruns and then kicked your dog on the way to the dugout. Dick.

4. He doesn't want to talk about negative things: Apparently all the reporters ever want to do is talk about negative things with Manny and he doesn't want to do that. Who cares if the only thing that comes up in relation to him is negative things? He doesn't want to talk about it, okay!?

3. He’s classically handsome. "He could turn heads in any era. Like Paul Rudd… with less pitching talent. Pitching-wise, he often misses his spots. I can only hope those control issues would transfer to the bedroom for my posterior’s sake."

(Tyler's words, not mine.)

2. Chris Narveson is no better. I know everyone likes to think that Narveson is a good pitcher because he has 10 wins compared to Manny's three, but trust me they are the same guy. Same ERA, same HR/9, same batting average allowed and all the other numbers are close. If anything Parra is better because he's better at striking people out and Narveson is just... luckier? I guess.

1. The season's almost over: Give the guy a break. The season is over. We'll hate him for ruining the team next year.

Yesterday for the fifth straight game Carlos Gomez was not in the starting lineup for the Milwaukee Brewers. There are many theories as to why this is. Some point to his comments about Lorenzo Cain when he said:

"I'm the best centerfielder on the team. But Lorenzo is doing a really good job for the last two weeks and it's not fair for me to come off the DL and take his chance. I understand. He is a really good player, but I think I'm still the man on this team."

That would make sense. Others simply point to his horrendous .229/.286/.348 line and compare them to... anybody and it makes perfect sense why he's not been playing.

The debate as to whether Gomez should or shouldn't play, or should or shouldn't be re-signed is something that has been discussed heavily in the Brewer community over the past few weeks. However, it's hard to discuss these sorts of things if you don't know all of the facts.

Luckily, we have all the facts. Luckily, we have sources within the Brewers to let us know why certain things happen. We know why Carlos Gomez hasn't been playing and lucky for you we're not above betraying our sources to tell you why.

	RING! RING!
	Hello.
	Is this Ken Macha?
	Yes it is. What can I do you for?
	Hi Ken, this is Carlos.... I mean Carl from the Walker's Point Sex Clinic. A recent patient of ours has named you as a recent sexual partner. Would you like to come in for a test?
	My wife? Carolyn was in there?
	No it was a guy! HAHAHAHA! *click*
	RING RING!
	Hello.
	/muffles voice Hello, this is Mike from the Power Company. Is your refrigerator running?
	Hang on a second Mike let me check.
	5 minutes later.
	Mike, are you still there?
	Yeah.
	I just checked and my refridgerator seems to be running strong.
	WELL YOU BETTER GO ON AND CATCH IT! *click*
	RING! RING!
	Hello.
	/in a girl's voice Is Prince there?
	No, this is his manager Ken Macha. I can call him for you if you want.
	Oh, okay then. *click*
	RING! RING!
	Hello.
	/in a stereotypical gay accent Hey honey, is Prince there? Fabulous.
	No, this is his manager Ken Macha. You're actually the second person to call for Prince tonight let me give you his..
	*click*
	RING! RING!
	Hello.
	/in the worst Australian accent you have ever heard Hello mate, it's me Crocodile Dundee. Is Prince about?
	Crocodile Dundee? Paul Hogan? Really?
	Yes sir. Is Prince about then mate? I need to talk to him about a dingo who ate his baby.
	Well... no he's not, but... is the kid okay? I hope so. Listen if you have a few minutes I'd really like to talk. I love your movies and I want to ask you a few...
	*click*
	RING! RING!
	Croc? Is that you? I think we got disconnected.
	/in a terrible black accent No dog, it's yo boy Prince. I's got any messages homey?
	Prince! I'm glad you called. I just got off the phone with Crocodile Dundee called and he said a dingo ate your..
	*click* HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
	Oh man that was the best. Do Peterson next.

I can say without a shadow of a doubt that Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party was a huge success. It seemed like everyone who came wanted to have a good time and I think that everyone there got exactly what they wanted and more. There were little problems here and there, but none of it ended up having an effect on anyone's good time and that's all you can really ask for.

The party started right when people were allowed in the park at 10 AM (nearly half the party showed up right at ten on the dot) and didn't stop for some until about the third inning when a combination of the kegs being empty and the cops telling us to go inside did the party in. (Honestly, this was probably for the best.)

While lasting at most four hours, the party (not including the game which was also nice, Braun was 4 for 4 with a homerun and a broken arm) had a little bit of everything and in some ways was a perfect representation of this site and what we try to do around here. If you wanted to talk about baseball the whole time, you could do that. If you wanted to get really drunk, you could do that and if you wanted stuff your face with ballpark food, you could that too. There was a little something for everyone and great times were had. I honestly can't picture it working out any better than it did.

I'd like to thank everyone that came and participated. I just brought everyone together, but you all did as much to make it fun as anyone else. I can't thank you enough. Everyone had their party pants on yesterday and the party was better for it. I'd also like to thank a few people specifically:

- Ryan: For being an amazing cook and keeping the food flowing throughout the park. This party wouldn't have been half as good without the spread he created and executed.
- Larry from wezen-ball: Who did just as much to promote this party and get people to come as I did. I don't know why he did it, but I'm glad he did.
- The girls with the personalized shirts: For bringing the fun and keeping everyone involved. Lucky guy I am to have friends like you.
- Tyler Maas: For being an endless source of comedy, intentionally and unintentionally, for the entirety of the party.

I put in a lot of work to pull this party off, but in the end the entire thing came off completely effortless and fun. It was just a good time for everyone and that's why I can't wait for next time and neither can anyone else. (Coming in 2011, Pants Party 2: Electric Boogaloo.) There will be a next time next season and when it happens I expect at least 90% of the people who were there yesterday to return for the squeakquel and in the end that's the best thing I can say about it.

Also, this happened.

(face covered to protect the culprit)

Yep. I'd say it was a pretty good time.

Were you at the Pants Party? Leave a comment about it. We need them for next year to tell everyone how stupid they were for not coming this year.