Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you."

Yeah, f- analysis.

Meet Alcides Escobar ladies: A classic misogynist post where we attempt to teach Alcides to be a ladies man. If we only know then what we know now.

JJ Hardy: Step by Step: One of my all time favorites. It's almost like a "real sports writer" column, but still maintains our sensibilities.

So ladies, you want to date Miller Park drunk huh?

50 Brewers Related Sexual Innuendos

Thanks a lot Ryan Braun, now I'll never get laid: The first time I ever swore in a post at this site. Crazy, right? It made perfect sense with this post though.

Ryan Braun turns down The Bachelor: One of our better fake conversations.

Wrigley Field Drunk: I think that me, lar from wezen-ball and his girlfriend are the only three who found this funny but we found it REALLY funny so it plays. Loved the first post especially.

I Know Things

(Guides to Everything)

Like a real writer and stuff

Mike Cameron, I love you: An impassioned plea not to boo Mike Cameron during his inevitable upcoming slump.

MPD Book Club: Wrigley World: I really like this review and it really did make me feel like a real writer.

The next big thing in Milwaukee is Brandon Jennings: So did this one.

How NOT to be a Brewers fan: From the Onion AV Club, this one made me feel like a real writer because I got paid for it. Parts of it were also read on Dave and Carole's morning radio show although they credited the AV Club and not us. Still, pretty cool.

Keep watching the best part hasn't even happened yet: My case against giving up on a team that is out of contention. In my opinion the "best part" happened after this post, Prince's cannonball celebration and the awesome game it finished. That game had like 7 out of the top 10 plays on SportsCenter that night.

Best of the Rest

As you can see I had a lot of good memories here and had trouble narrowing down my favorite posts. I really appreciate everyone who reads this site and want to thank you all for that. It took us awhile to find exactly what the "voice" of the site should be, but I think we're there now and if you like completely irreverent humor with a loose connection to the Milwaukee Brewers this is the place to be for 2010 and beyond. We'll keep doing it if you keep reading it. (Unless we get really bored of it. Then we won't.)

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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6 comments on “Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

  1. Citizens Bank Park Drunk on said:

    You can barely see my cowboy hat behind “the drunk” eating a brat in the “Wrigley Field Drunk” post. I just noticed that. I was asked to leave that game and do not remember the ride home. What a great day. I have one last thing to say this year… MAY 14-16 2010 BABY, A WEEKEND SERIES WITH THE PHIGTIN’S!!!!!!!! C U THERE.

  2. Citizens Bank Park Drunk on said:

    Oh yeah I almost forgot… Great stuff MPD and please keep the journalistic integrity, high brow commentary and analysis coming in 2010.

  3. lar @ wezen-ball on said:

    I don’t know about everyone else, but you’re absolutely right about me and the girlfriend – we loved the Wrigley Field Drunk series.

    It’s been a great year reading MPD, and I’m looking forward to more. Keep it up.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    Here is a partial list of bullshit that comes to mind about Mark McGuire’s “apology.”

    1) Stop crying you fucking baby

    2) if your wife and friends didn’t know you were doing roids they are stupider than you are…

    3) if performance enhancing drugs didn’t enhance your performance but helped you heal from injuries then they would be called magic happy healing pills not PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS!! YOU FUCKING CRYBABY!

    4) Usually when you apologize for something you apologize to the people you harmed – not your stupid wife and your stupid close friends and YOUR teammates and coaches. You would apologize to the people you cheated on – the other teams, the other coaches. Your teammates and coaches made money and won games because you cheated. The teams that lost and players who lost their jobs because you are a cheater are the ones you should be apologizing too YOU FUCKING STUPID CRYING DIP SHIT!

    5)You cryed on and on about this big fucking burden you’ve been carrying around and because your lawyers told you not to say anything that would incriminate you to congress – listen you raisin nutted idiot – what has changed in the years since? Oh I know – you didn’t get elected to the Hall of Fame because everyone knows you were doing roids (even though your stupid wife and stupid friends and stupid coaches like Tony L. didn’t know). Now you want sympathy? You are a self serving douche bag and now you want sympathy?!?!

    6)You are still a liar and a cheat and you think that by giving some half ass excuse/apology you will be able to serve as hitting coach of the Cards and maybe get into the Hall – I got news for ya Markie Mark I’m a Big Fucking Crybaby Lying Cheating Raisin Nutted McGuire, the only thing you’ll get from me is drunken verbal abuse the next time you show your deflated flabby pock marked body at a Miller Park Brewer/Cards game.

    Thanks everyone – I feel much better.

  5. Anonymous on said:

    outta curiosity, what post got the most “likes”?

  6. Miller Park Drunk on said:

    For some reason it doesn’t keep track of how many, but it is almost definitely this post http://www.millerparkdrunk.com/baseball/dear-journal-sentinel-anthony-witrado-is-a-douchebag-and-you-should-probably-fire-him/ with a whopping 81 likes. Kinda shitty because I don’t even think it’s that good or original.

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