Lists are for lazy people. Since I am lazy, do top ten lists all the time and only occasionally write about the Brewers I thought I would create a new tag for the site called "Drunk 10". Come on, it's fun. Today we cover the Brewers we'd most like to share a drink with judged on talent, general coolness, drinking ability and likelihood to buy drinks. Apologies in advance to Ryan Braun, I still love you.
10. Rickie Weeks
I am probably biased here, but I have heard from people who have seen him out around Milwaukee that he is a really cool guy. Between growing up and Daytona Beach and all the time he spent on the DL you have to think he has beaten up a pretty good drinking resume.
9. Paul Molitor
Really should be higher based on the sheer amount of talent and things to talk about him with, but this quote from his Wikipedia: "He stopped using drugs in 1981, and has since visited schools to lecture about the dangers of drug use" drops him down. Still, even if the Ignitor sipped on a virgin pina colada while you got hammered it would still be awesome. It's Paul Molitor!
8. Jeff Suppan
Before you attack me, hear me out here. Let's say you can convince the devout Catholic Jeff Suppan to drink with you. He probably doesn't drink that much and after a few rounds of shots he'll be near black out/ready to pass out. Can you get a large amount of embarrassing photos of him? I say yes.. Will he fall asleep and leave you able to draw penises on his face? God, I hope so. This is definitely worth something and with his contract you probably won't even have to spend that much!
7. Dave Nilsson
Have you ever seen a Foster's commercial? Exactly. Plus, the accent virtually guarantees you will get laid that night.
6. Harvey Kuenn
Nobody chews that much tobacco in the dugout and doesn't know how to drink. The potential for comedy of drinking with a guy that has a prosthetic leg is off the charts.
5. Richie Sexson
Good Brewer? Check. Lots of money? Check. DUI arrest? Check. Richie Sexson has all the makings of a good drinking partner (except for that whole freakishly tall thing.)
4. Robin Yount
Of course. The greatest Brewer of all time should probably place higher here. He's funny, lived in Wisconsin from age 18 to 37 so you know he can drink and again, is the greatest Brewer of all time. So why isn't he higher? Robinade, that's why. I don't need him telling every bartender we encounter about how he should carry Robinade because it's great with vodka and he has some free samples out in the car he can get for him. Let it alone Robin, not everyone cares about Midwest children.
3. Prince Fielder
Prince is my favorite type of person to drink with, the "I don't get out much because I am married with children so I am going to make this night worth it". (By the way, I completely fabricated the whole Prince's wife doesn't let him do anything thing and have now convinced myself that it is completely genuine.) Beyond that I think he's one of the best Brewers in history and seems like a really nice guy. Plus, if someone tries to mess with me I know I can count on him to Manny Parra someone for me. Good times.
2. Mike Cameron
What? Is this your first time reading the site or something?
I'll make this brief. Mike Cameron is a great baseball player, but beyond that he is one of the best clubhouse guys in the league and he is one of the most popular players in the league. Countless players call him their best friend in baseball and you really see the guy without a smile on his face. There is no way in hell that Mike Cameron isn't one of the funnest guys to hang out with in the history of the Brewers or Major League Baseball. It's impossible.
1. Gorman Thomas
No, really, who else?