There is a deep hole in my soul right now. It's been about two months now since I have been to Miller Park and the hole is pretty big. I've been trying to fill it up with something, anything, but nothing seems to be working. I've tried it all yoga, reading, crack cocaine, PCP, shadowboxing, jogging (pronounced yogging), everything and nothing seems to work. Perhaps it was divine intervention, perhaps something else but last week I got invited to go on a bus to a Milwaukee Admirals game. Could this be the thing to fill the hole in my life?
In a word, no. In a lot of words, sort of. Let's look at the facts.Did you get drunk? Good one. Of course I did. I got drunk on my way to my nephew's first communion.
Were you watching sports? Yes.
Did you have fun? See question one.
Did you spend entirely way too much money? I spent more than I planned to, so that qualifies as a yes.
Do you remember anything about the game? Funny thing about that.
How about the ride home? I've said too much already.
Will you remember ANYTHING about this experience? Yes and this is what settles it. When I look back on the experience of going to a Milwaukee Admirals game besides a mostly shirtless bus ride home, a friend falling down the stairs at the Bradley Center and cougar hunting, the one thing that I'll remember about this event is driving by Miller Park. A fun ride highlighted by a rousing game of "Never Have I Ever" (you haven't lived until you know which of your friends has been in a gang bang (I wonder if they were in the same one, or if there have been multiple gang bangings, next time)), was almost derailed by the overwhelming thoughts of longing and depressing as I passed by Miller Park.
Overall, that's what sticks out about this experience. You can go to an Admirals game and watch sports and get drunk and have a good time, but it's not like going to Miller Park. If anything it's like going to County Stadium. The building isn't that nice and badly needs an upgrade, the beer is cheaper and you have a good chance of counting every head in under ten minutes before the game starts. Is that enough to hold you over until baseball season? Not by a long shot.