Ryan Braun loves him some offseason projects. He doesn't want to be a baseball player. He wants to be Coke, he wants to be Pepsi, he wants to be Chevy, Ford and BMW. Ryan Braun isn't just an All-Star, he's a brand. The name Ryan Braun equals quality and it reaches far beyond the baseball field. Whether it's Ryan Braun's Tavern and Grille, RB8 or Remetee, he sets out to do good things. I like Ryan Braun, he impresses me.

Why should he stop here? He needs to just keep getting bigger and bigger. Obviously the next logical step is movies and boy oh boy, do I have the perfect movie pitch for you Ryan Braun. You want to be a movie star? You want to extend your brand? You want to get laid about 15,000 times more than you do now? Well, I've written you a screenplay that will BLOW YOUR MIND and surely become one of the top box office hits of 2010 (that's right, we're fast tracking this baby!) I have the story that's going to take Ryan Braun from "Major League Baseball Star" to "Bigger than Jesus, Babe Ruth, Leonardo DiCaprio and 80's Michael Jackson combined". I have the idea that is going to make Shaq and his movies like, well, Shaq movies. Are you ready for this? Are you ready for....

ryan braun jew commando

When a group of Neo-Nazi's seek to re-animate Hitler and kill all the famous Jewish people in the world, there's only one man who can stop them and his name is Ryan Braun.

It's time for this Jewish All-Star to deliver some suffering of his own - with a baseball bat!

Call me.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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8 comments on “Hey Ryan Braun, let’s make a movie!

  1. Anonymous on said:


    I love your site, (it kept a smile on my face through the season) except this post may have crossed a line.

  2. Miller Park Drunk on said:

    What line? Is it because you think it’s racist? Because it’s not. I mean, the only thing that’s racial is the word Jew. I can’t put the word Jew in front of another word and have it be a joke? Really? Jokingly portraying Braun as a badass Jew ala Munich or the Basterds in Inglourious Basterds is a bad thing? Maybe that idea wasn’t really portrayed well, but there is no way anyone could say this was meant to be making fun of Braun’s race or religion. Come on, I’ve said much worse.

  3. Anonymous on said:

    Do you like to make up arbitrary lines and tell people not to cross them (metaphorically, proverbially, metaphysically, transcendentally, or otherwise), person who commented first? Me too! By the way, you’ve crossed the line for number of m’s allowed in the first fragment of a comment made on dates that end in 3. I am, quite frankly, offended by your unscrupulous number of m’s.


  4. Anonymous on said:

    jewysville slugger

  5. Pingback: Tweets that mention Hey Ryan Braun, let’s make a movie! | Miller Park Drunk -- Topsy.com

  6. Citizens Bank Park Drunk on said:

    ^^^That comment crossed the line a little. I still laughed for some reason though. The MPD post was just fine though. Braun’s Jewish heritage is critical to the plot line of this soon to be classic film.

  7. Anonymous on said:

    He could replace Jesse Ventura and be in “Black Hammer/White Lightning 2.”

  8. Anonymous on said:

    I thought “bigger than 80’s Michael Jackson” crossed the line. Bigger than 90’s fake marriage to Elvis’s daughter maybe, but 80’s MJ, no.

    Will Counsell or McClung be sidekicks in the movie? Counsell as the old wise one and Seth as comic relief.

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