Welcome to a new semi-regular feature here at the site, the Monday Mailbag. I figure if Anthony Witrado can get 500 questions at the JSOnline I should be able to get at least 5-10. If you're sad you missed out, we'll be accepting questions through our Facebook page or our twitter account on Mondays semi-regularly throughout the season.

This might end up getting long so I am not going to waste any more time and just get right into the questions.

What are the comparison stats between Zaun (Brewers) and Kendall (Royals) so far this season?

Depends on how you look at it, if you look at it purely on better average then Kendall is the much better player.

Batting Average
Kendall: .318
Zaun: .157

But if you include counting stats that actually matter in the box score, then it's a lot more even. That is to say, they both suck.

Kendall: 0
Zaun: 0

Kendall: 2
Zaun: 3

Kendall: 3
Zaun: 3

Or if you are like me and think purely about stupid stuff, then we most definitely made the right choice by going with Gregg Zaun.

At-Bat Music makes me want to...
Kendall: murder small animals
Zaun: rock out with my cock out

Wife left him for Rod Stewart's loser son
Kendall: Yes
Zaun: No

Fill in the blank: Looks like a serial (_______)
Kendall: rapist
Zaun: murderer

See? We totally made the right choice!

Are you legally allowed near middle schools yet?
- John
How else would I pick your daughter up from school?
if you could spend a day with rickie weeks, would you rather: hit the batting cages, or race go-carts?
Is this a serious question? Of course I'd want to go race go-carts! It's not like I'm some 12 year old kid looking for advice from my favorite player on how to hit a curveball. I am a completely normal 28 year old guy who just wants to hang out with his favorite player and race go-carts and maybe ride a tandem bike in the park together. It's not creepy at all. It's not like I've thought about this for a really long time either. Just for fun here's an itinerary of stuff me and Rickie would do if we happened to spend the day together. This is completely off the top of my head and not from my livejournal. (I mean, I don't even have a livejournal!)
9:00: Pick Rickie up at his house. He gives me a guided tour. I don't steal any hair from the shower drain. That'd be weird.
9:30: We go out to breakfast. I pretend like I am not sure what I want and allow Rickie to order first. Immediately after he is done ordering I tell the waitress that I want the exact same thing.
10:00: Ask Rickie to record my voicemail message. "Hey this is Rickie Weeks and you've reached Vince's phone. Vince isn't here right now because he's probably off doing something cool with me, Rickie Weeks, his good friend so he will have to call you back later. Unless later he's doing something else cool with me, Rickie Weeks, his good friend. Leave a message."
10:30: Call everyone in my phone to tell them to call me. Let all calls go to voicemail.
11:00: Find one of those picture booths. Drop a $50 in and see what happens.
11:30 - 2:00: Go-cart races, rock wall climbing, skee-ball, Golden Tee
2:30: Since it's a game day I will have to take Rickie to the park. For fun we will ride a tandem bike.
3:00: Spot Rickie as he lifts. Tell him to feel the burn.
3:30: Wait outside the shower. Hand Rickie towel when the time is right.
4:00: Head to my seat in the players wives section.
4:30-10:00: Tell everyone I see that I'm with Rickie.
Perfectly normal.
At what point does it become cliche to continually hate on Cubs fans in Milwaukee for Brewers-Cubs games?
- PrepsAlcove

Last time they played? Last year? It's always been?

I like making fun of them as much of the next guy, but I like making fun of everybody. Cubs fans, Nationals fans, Marlins fans, ballhawks, people wearing Packers jerseys, people with funny accents, people who get way too excited for the sausage race, people who get the questions wrong in the middle of the game, anyone on the kiss cam, Giants fans, guys who come to games with their mom, white people who wear their hats crooked; honestly, I really don't care. They are all fair game to me. To hate Cubs fans more than any of these other people is silly and wrong. Hate them all equally, it's much more rewarding.

Who is John Galt?
- Justin


(See what I did there? I took a nerdy question that you would only know if you read a certain book and answered it with a nerdy answer that you would only get if you read a certain book.)

In your opinion, what is the best seat in the house at Miller Park?
- Adrienne

Next to me. Oh, you mean section wise? The obvious answer is behind home plate. Anything down in that area between 115-120 is a complete different game experience than anywhere else in the park. You can hear the players, the players can hear you and if there is a bad called strike or some other umpiring error you have the right to boo it because you can actually see that it was the right or wrong call. Nothing like it down there and that's why it's so expensive to sit there.

As far as value goes, you can't go wrong with the Loge bleachers as long as you aren't in the last ten rows. Can anyone explain to me why there is a $10 difference between 232 and 233? It can't be done.

Finally, if you are ever going to buy tickets through stubhub or ebay always look for Field Outfield Box. The face on them is $40 for most games, but they are always being given away for far under face on these sites. I know this because that's where my season tickets are and I have NEVER made money off of them.

When you wake up after a night of heavy drink, how loud do you yell when it dawns on you that you brought home a pre-op? Do you get Manny Parra face?
- Luke

Oh come on, like I'd ever take someone home from a bar.

In your scientific opinion, has the number of new STD cases in the Milwaukee area gone down since J.J. was traded?
- ransaysthis

Maybe among fat girls (hey yooooo!)

Seriously though, this rumor has been out there for so long that I'm surprised snopes.com hasn't picked it up. Is it true? I don't know, but I do know that the very same rumor has been picked up and spread about Ryan Braun all throughout Milwaukee. Is that true? I don't know, but have you seen this youtube video?

If he didn't have herpes before that night began, he definitely had something before it ended and from the looks of it, so did JJ.

He looks like he's about to date rape himself.

Decibel: where a Jagerbomb is twelve dollars, but the GHB is free.


Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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4 comments on “Monday Mailbag: Zaun, Weeks, JJ and Cubs fans

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Miller Park Drunk | Monday Mailbag: Zaun, Weeks, JJ and Cubs fans -- Topsy.com

  2. CountyStadiumDrunk on said:

    Manny,I go back and forth between thinking you are lame and thinking you are awesome. I’ve decided you are mostly awesome because you like to make fun of everyone equally. I especially like to make fun of those eejits playing the stupid beanbag games in the parking lot. Just sit down and drink for chrissakes. You really need to do an activitiy before going into a Brewers game? Also, try Stella Artois- delicious and way smoother than Spotted Cow. Fat Tire is also great, about halfway between the Cow and the Stella. Also on the plus side for Kendall,he does kind of resemble Brutus from Popeye.

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