I have friends. One of my friends is Tyler Maas. He pointed out this ad for Ryan Braun's restaurant on craigslist. It seems that Ryan Braun's new Waterfront restaurant is getting rid of all their old, ugly staff and replacing them with new, hot people. You should read his post on the matter. He nails it. Here's the ad:

Now, another one of my friends is Craig, Craig List. You may know him as the owner/creator of craigslist. I contacted him about this ad and he told me that this is actually the second draft of this ad as he said he couldn't post the first ad. I got to thinking, how bad could the first ad have been considering this is the same site that often advertises porn casting couches for sale and personal ads for WoW nerds. So I emailed Craig back and he gladly sent me over the original copy of Braun's employment ad. Read at your own risk.

Our 3 TIME ALL STAR is assembling a NEW TEAM
Our old team STRUCK OUT in the boner department so we fired them
Our fresh new TEAM PLAYERS will be hot and include:
Servers, Bartenders, Hosts, Bussers and Kitchen

Models that are bartenders will be included in the STARTING LINEUP

We are all EOE and shit, but you shouldn't apply for the following positions unless you fit the criteria to be a BALLER

HOSTS: Underage girls who like to drink. Preferably under 18 so that we can do something special on your 18th birthday, like have sex with you. (lol like we'll wait)
SERVERS: No fat chicks, gay dudes or single mothers. Daddy issues a plus. No experience required.
BARTENDERS: Are you a model? Have you ever poured a drink before? Do you know the difference between vodka and tequila? Can you do basic math? None of that matters as long as you said yes to the first question. If you are hot, apply!
BUSSERS: Where my Mexicans at?
KITCHEN: See Bussers.

People over 30 need not STEP UP TO THE PLATE unless you are like a totally hot cougar

You may send nude photos head shot a resume to RyanBraunsWaterfrontGrill@gmail.com for consideration

Apply in person at the Restaurant
102 N. Water Street
Milwaukee

Thursday, March 17th
Friday, March 18th
Saturday, March 19th
From NOON - 6pm

EOE

Seriously though, no fat chicks.

Oh, Braun.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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21 comments on “Ryan Braun’s restaurant is now hiring

  1. Anonymous on said:

    What’s up with no special weekend edition post for the announcement that Bob Ueker is going to be inducted into yet another Hall of Fame? The WWE Hall of Fame isn’t important enough to you?

    __Cody Badger__

  2. Anonymous on said:

    The loans are essential for people, which want to start their career. In fact, this is not very hard to receive a bank loan.

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  5. Anonymous on said:

    What’s up with no special weekend edition post for the announcement that Bob Ueker is going to be inducted into yet another Hall of Fame?
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  11. Gehglash on said:

    For a resto bar, Its only normal having waitresses than waiters. They are more attractive to men specially when they’re drunk lol. Those hot girl lures people in their restaurant.

    Jane of skin moles

  12. skin tags on said:

    A bar tender? Did you mean he is hiring a certain bar tender? I do want to confirm this and maybe I could just go there. I have a friend who is an excellent bar tender with lots of tricks too.

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  14. If I lived near the area I definately would apply!

    Brad

  15. stream movies for free online on said:

    I know exactly why that bar is poppin

  16. stop sweating on said:

    It is a nice business idea to hire big b chicks in the bars

  17. Business Directory on said:

    Its only normal having waitresses than waiters. They are more attractive to men specially when they’re drunk lol

  18. car moving on said:

    Its only normal having waitresses than waiters. They are more attractive to men specially when they’re drunk lol

  19. Experts Academy Bonus on said:

    I would like to add that the guestbook is the best place for sharing the ideas.

  20. i agreed that Its only normal having waitresses than waiters. They are more attractive to men specially when they’re drunk lol…

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