I have friends. One of my friends is Tyler Maas. He pointed out this ad for Ryan Braun's restaurant on craigslist. It seems that Ryan Braun's new Waterfront restaurant is getting rid of all their old, ugly staff and replacing them with new, hot people. You should read his post on the matter. He nails it. Here's the ad:
Now, another one of my friends is Craig, Craig List. You may know him as the owner/creator of craigslist. I contacted him about this ad and he told me that this is actually the second draft of this ad as he said he couldn't post the first ad. I got to thinking, how bad could the first ad have been considering this is the same site that often advertises porn casting couches for sale and personal ads for WoW nerds. So I emailed Craig back and he gladly sent me over the original copy of Braun's employment ad. Read at your own risk.
Our 3 TIME ALL STAR is assembling a NEW TEAM
Our old team STRUCK OUT in the boner department so we fired them
Our fresh new TEAM PLAYERS will be hot and include:
Servers, Bartenders, Hosts, Bussers and Kitchen
Models that are bartenders will be included in the STARTING LINEUP
We are all EOE and shit, but you shouldn't apply for the following positions unless you fit the criteria to be a BALLER
HOSTS: Underage girls who like to drink. Preferably under 18 so that we can do something special on your 18th birthday, like have sex with you. (lol like we'll wait)
SERVERS: No fat chicks, gay dudes or single mothers. Daddy issues a plus. No experience required.
BARTENDERS: Are you a model? Have you ever poured a drink before? Do you know the difference between vodka and tequila? Can you do basic math? None of that matters as long as you said yes to the first question. If you are hot, apply!
BUSSERS: Where my Mexicans at?
KITCHEN: See Bussers.
People over 30 need not STEP UP TO THE PLATE unless you are like a totally hot cougar
You may send nude photos head shot a resume to RyanBraunsWaterfrontGrill@gmail.com for consideration
Apply in person at the Restaurant
102 N. Water Street
Thursday, March 17th
Friday, March 18th
Saturday, March 19th
From NOON - 6pm
Seriously though, no fat chicks.