Where everybody hates Suppan, Monday Mailbag part 2

Where in the "levels of dispiriting" does getting swept by the Scrubs 25-4 fall? And, is it already time to make the rest of the season about tailgating first and baseball second?
- Jake

Wait, is that a conscious decision that people actually make? I thought there was just "tailgating first-baseball second" people and "baseball first-tailgating second" people. I didn't know it was possible to switch sides during the season. If such a switch even exists it is way to early to flip it.

The truth is that while these losses were pretty awful for our positivity and our self esteem we have to try and remember that they are only three games in a long season. Three games in the first month doesn't mean a whole lot and if the Brewers end up finishing the month under .500 (where they currently sit) that isn't really enough to worry. We have to try and remember 2008 (the measuring stick by which all future Brewers seasons shall be judged). The Brewers started that season 6-1 and looked to be a team to be reckoned with, but then they went 14-23 in their next 37 before catching fire and going 70-48 the rest of the year. If someone offered you the chance to start 14-23, but to finish at 90-72 you would take that every time. I don't know about you guys, but I much prefer to go home with a win on a 90 degree day in the summer than a game where the roof is closed and I'm wearing pants.

If you were a hot dog would you eat yourself?
- Aaron

What do I look like Pizza the Hut? No I wouldn't do that. I mean, I guess if I was a hot dog I'd still bite my nails and I guess that could be considered eating yourself but I wouldn't be slathering myself in mustard just to taste myself either. For the same reason that I don't s my own d, this is a big n-o.

favorite type of sandwich, tailgate brew of choice, best cheap meal
- sean22bailey

Is this a first date?

Favorite sandwich: Reuben followed by sliced turkey with bacon (#15 at Jimmy Johns).
Tailgate brew of choice: I always get Spotted Cow, but I am thinking about making the switch to something lighter because that has led to more blackouts than I can recall. Whenever the car ride home features you playing Usher on your cellphone and singing a long to it, it might be time for a new tailgate brew.
Best cheap meal: One time I was unemployed and I ate one double cheeseburger and one McChicken off the dollar menu at McDonalds everyday for a week. It's filling and it encourages you to find a job as fast as possible.

next time you come to a brewer game will you come into fridays and buy a shot from me?
- Erika

Didn't you just charge me $31 for two drinks on Saturday? Because that happened.

Quick story: A guy I know works at the Fridays and the inside was busy so we went in the little Leinenkugels garden thing outside. As I was waiting in line he told me not to order the long islands outside because the mix is weak and that I was better off ordering a mixed drink. My friend and I decided that double Jack and coke sounded good (we and every Cubs fan in the building apparently had the same idea). We order it and when we get our drinks the total comes up at $31 dollars. I yelled "THIRTY ONE DOLLARS!" so loud that I think the bullpen heard me. It was insane. Thirty one dollars. Two drinks. Seriously. This was really happening. I'm writing this two days later and I'm still in shock.

My guess is they cost $7.75 a piece for a regular one and a double is just that times two. Only instead of double liquor you just get double everything as the drink came in a Big Gulp cup so big that it'd make Paulie Shore blush. I was so shocked at the cost that I could barely enjoy the damn thing. Of course, about five minutes later I dropped it on my way to my seat.

Moral of the story: don't order mixed drinks outside at Fridays.

Can we see side-by-side pics of you and Manny from Modern Family?
- Greg

No.

Favorite Brewer (or Brave, I suppose) of ALL time?
- MsSamari213

Paul Molitor.

umm did you rsvp for us?
-Stephanie

You mean for me and you, the girl I have never met or talked to before, to go to a wedding together? Of course I didn't! I just put this question in there so people believe me when I say that readers want to date me.

why do morons wear wis badger shirts and hats when we play the cards?...is this worse than packer gear?
- Roberto

First of all, nothing is worse than Packers gear. You can't even pass Packers gear off as fashionable because it's green and yellow. If you're wearing Packers gear it's because you want people to know you like the Packers. Period.

Second of all, it depends. I kind of give a free pass to everyone who wears Wisconsin Badgers stuff if they actually went to the University of Wisconsin. Who am I to tell you not to wear it? You're the one that graduated from there. As an alumni you have a tighter bond to that team than most people could possibly have to a team. With the team and the school tying into your college years it probably fills you with so many memories.

Your first drinking ticket? Wisconsin Badgers.
First DUI? Wisconsin Badgers.
Losing your virginity? Wisconsin Badgers.
First time you had sex in a bathroom? Wisconsin Badgers.

Wearing your Badgers gear is like wearing your life story. The red shirt tells everyone that, hey, one time you beer bonged a fifth of Jim Beam and you didn't even throw up! One time you had sex with a girl and she would have only blown like a .12 if you breathalyzed her! One time you had tons of friends and lots to do every night!

So if you went to the University of Wisconsin-Madison where your red shirt with pride. Wear to the bars, wear it to the Brewers game, wear it wherever you like. But if you didn't go to UW? Take that shit off. You're worse than a Packers fan.

And now, let's talk about Jeff Suppan....

If Jeff Suppan was shot in the woods and nobody was around to hear it, would anyone care?
- Michael

why does Doug Melvin not seem to ever really care about pitching?
Peaches66

Why do I itch so bad? Is it Suppan related?
- Rex

Why do most Milwaukee fans see Jeff Suppan as the Brewer's Antichrist? Does his release from his Starting Pitchng role REALLY answer the Brewers pitching problems?
- Wendy

The thing with Jeff Suppan is that he got signed to a bad contract. That is not his fault. Anyone would have said yes to that contract. The reason that people don't like him and the reason that they probably never will is that Jeff Suppan has been a Brewer for four seasons and he has been the highest paid pitcher for all of them and the best Brewers pitcher for none of them.

2007: Suppan is mostly average. Ben Sheets is the best pitcher, Yovani has 17 starts where he looks awesome and Dave Bush matches his win total.
2008: The Brewers make the playoffs and a disturbing trend starts. Not only is Jeff Suppan not the best pitcher, he is also the worst. Sheets, Sabathia, Bush and Parra all have better seasons and one could even argue that Seth McClung was a better starter. Originally signed based on his playoff history, Suppan gives up 5 ER in 3 innings in his only NLDS start.
2009: Suppan isn't the worst Brewers pitcher, but that's only because the pitching was historically bad. Bush and Parra somehow managed to have worse seasons, but then again Suppan got paid more than both of them combined.
2010: It's like the old saying "burn me once, shame on you. burn me twice, shame on me." Brewers fans have simply been burned too many times by Suppan to care anymore. When he got the starting job over Narveson and Parra it looked to be just another letdown for the Brewers. He's not good and while Narveson and Parra could hypothetically put up the exact same numbers, they would still be considered an improvement over Suppan because people are just sick of him letting them down.

Are they right? Yes, they probably are. Suppan is not much more than a fifth starter and his upside is completely missing. There is no upside. What you see is what you get. That being said if Jeff Suppan is EVER going to contribute something worthy to this team it's as the fifth starter and not as a reliever. Having Jeff Suppan as a reliever is like dating a born again Christian. Sure, you can say you have a girlfriend/pitcher, but you are missing out on all of the reasons you would have a girlfriend/starting pitcher in the first place (getting laid/getting wins) and are just left with the boring stuff (talking/innings that don't mean anything). I don't think it's worth the hassle.

Should Zach Braddock be compelled to alter his likeness (to look less like Suppan) before taking over the MIL bullpen?
- PrepsAlcove

If anything I think he should alter his likeness to look MORE like Suppan. Seriously, if you see a pitcher coming in from the bullpen and he looks just like Jeff Suppan your expectations are automatically lowered. If he does good, he suddenly looks like the greatest prospect in Brewers pitching history. If he sucks? Well, duh. It's a win-win for him.

As a guy who kind-of looks like an older and hotter version of Manny from the TV show Modern Family, do you ever ... OK, honesty time, I don't have a question. I just wanted to address that you kind-of look like an older and hotter version of Manny from the TV show Modern Family.

Wait, I have a question too. What do you think is in Secret Stadium Sauce? I think it's just Catsup and BBQ Sauce... but could there be a mystery ingredient too? And if so, what could it be?
- Tyler Mass, Bugs & Cranks

This is ridiculous. This is Manny from Modern Family.

This is me (looking as dumb as I could possibly look).

And this is me as a kid.

I mean, do we look anything alike? At all? Does anyone see this? Anyone?

This is what you get coming from a guy who looks like a chubby Dave Grohl.

Nerd.

Vince Morales is the guy who runs this site. He likes the Milwaukee Brewers, pro wrestling and beer. If he offended you he is very, very sorry.

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6 comments on “Where everybody hates Suppan, Monday Mailbag part 2

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Miller Park Drunk | Where everybody hates Suppan, Monday Mailbag part 2 -- Topsy.com

  2. Anonymous on said:

    Mm, Spotted Cow is fantastic. Do you get a worse hangover from that than you do from other beers, that you have noticed anyway?

  3. I strictly sell shots sir, and even if i was selling mixed drinks i’d give you a break.
    we’re famous for how strong our long islands are, so next time i’d go for one,
    that is if you’re not interested in a $3 red headed slut.

  4. Anonymous on said:

    In order to truly bleed all things Milwaukee, when I tailgate, Pabst is the only thing I’ll allow to give me that pre-game buzz. Pabst > Spotted Cow.

  5. SconnieGirl808 on said:

    1. Thanks for the love on the Badgers front. Even as an alumna, though, I still think sports should be kept separate, which brings me to my next point:

    1 a. So, I live in MN now . . . and was shopping for suitable attire for a Twins game. (If they were in the NL, this would not even in a million years happen, but I figured I’m safe with the different leagues. If I’m wrong, let me know.) What do I see? A PURPLE AND YELLOW TWINS JERSEY! How is this allowed to exist? My head almost exploded from the ridiculousness, and a guy laughed at me as I incredulously asked, “Are you SERIOUS?!” Then again, I was/am in Minnesota . . .

    2. Spotted Cow is THE tailgate brew of choice. Unless, of course, you manage to snag some Totally Naked. Then again, sometimes only Miller High Life will hit the spot. Sometimes.

  6. Pingback: 10 Worst Milwaukee Brewers of 2010 | Miller Park Drunk

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