12
Sep 12

500 Reasons the Brewers are .500

The Brewers are at .500! 71 wins and 71 losses! They are even in the wins and losses column! And everyone is very excited about this!

It's kind of hilarious when you think that one year ago today the Brewers were in first place, fourteen games over .500 and everyone was miserable because they had just lost 3 out of 4 to the Phillies and 5 out of 6 overall. Everyone was sure that the Brewers sucked and that they weren't going to win the World Series. Talk about your white people problems. Here's what we wrote at the time:

Let's say instead of the Brewers losing 5 in a row to the Cardinals and Phillies that they won them all. That'd have been awesome right? They'd be number one on ESPN and everyone would be calling them World Series favorites. Only now they play the Rockies and the Reds and instead of playing them like I think we're going to play them, they lose five. Does that make the Brewers a playoff team who can't close the deal? Does that make them a team that can't "get up" for the lesser games? Because right now the Brewers are a playoff team who, apparently, "choke against elite starters" or "can't beat good teams" and I just don't see the difference. Losses are loses. This weekend sucked, but consider this:

  1. Rickie Weeks is back.
  2. The Brewers magic number is ten. A combination of Brewers wins and Cardinals losses equaling ten and this is done. Sure, it could go til the end of the season, but it could be over by next weekend or it could be over by Sunday. Relax.

Last year we had a team on the verge of clinching a division that was all but guaranteed a playoff spot and we were miserable. Now we have a team that is at .500 and we are through the roof. Baseball.

But who cares about all that? You can't live in the past, you can only live in the now and that's a good thing because right now the Brewers are pretty awesome. Baseball is pretty fun. So how did this happen? Well, for starters there are these 500 things.

Continue reading →


07
Sep 12

TRL Friday 2: Beer, Playoffs, 2013 payroll and more

So the other day I tell someone my name. I say "Hey, my name is Vince" and they get all excited and say "Whaaat!? VINCE!? You must be Italian!" Umm, no I'm not actually. "HUH!?" they say, "How would you ever get the name Vince if you weren't Italian?" Because that's what my parents named me when I was born?

The thing is that this isn't the first time this has happened to me. It happens all the time. Like several times per year. I wonder if this ever happens to Vince Carter. Or Vincent Jackson. Or Vince McMahon. I bet Vince McMahon would murder someone for saying something like that.

So, why do people think that Italians own the name Vince? When I was looking in a baby name book I didn't see an asterisk next to the name Vince and big bold letters that said ITALIANS ONLY. Was there supposed to be? Am I breaking some sort of name code? Am I going to get whacked?

Anyways, we better get this TRL Friday over with before the mob comes for me so let's get to the questions. Continue reading →


06
Sep 12

Are we really talking about playoffs?

PLAYOFF FEVER is catching among a small portion of the fan base and I can't believe it. This team? The team that actually got me to give up on them in July? This team is causing playoff fever? Really?

Really. The Brewers are now just two game under .500 and sit a cool 6.5 back of the St. Louis Cardinals who they just so happen to play this weekend. The Cardinals, of course, are the reason for all this optimism in the first place. On August 27th of last season the Cardinals had playoff odds of 1.1 percent and then they got hot and won the World Series. On August 27th of this year? The Brewers had 0.2 percent playoff odds. So not the same and even today they are only up to 0.8 percent, still not the same. The 2011 Rays were 0.5 percent on 9/3 last year, but that was a completely different circumstance.

BUT they are hot! Red hot in fact! They are only two games under .500 with a not impossible schedule left to go. They haven't been two games under .500 since May. Is there really reason to believe? Continue reading →


05
Sep 12

Goodbye 60 percent of readers see you next spring

Well it's that time of the year. Summer is over, the kids are back to school, it's starting to get cold out and the leaves are turning a different color. Shorts are out and pants are in. Sweatshirts are necessary at night and soon they will be all day. Then it'll be coats and boots and scarves because winter is right around the corner. The happy fun times of summer are over and everyone is really, really happy about it. Wait, what?!

Oh, but it's football season you see. Baseball is winding down and the Brewers are out of it so who cares anyways? IT'S PACKERS TIME D00DZ! PACK ATTACK! PACK ATTACK! FOOTBAW! FOOTBAW! FOOTBAW! I LOVE FOOTBALL, ERON ROGDERS AND TWINZ

Look, I'm not here to hate on football. I am in three fantasy football leagues this season ($300!) and now I am going to tell you all about them for the next 2000 words. Just kidding I wouldn't do that to you (but seriously I am going to win all three.) I also really like to gamble on football (read: pay someone money to let me become overly invested in a single game's outcome only to ultimately be disappointed when some idiot coach kicks a field goal because of sportsmanship) and have no issue spending my Saturdays on the couch watching as many college football games as I can. Football is cool and all that, but maybe we should relax a bit about it? I mean, it's cool but not that cool. Continue reading →


31
Aug 12

TRL Friday: Fire Doug Melvin, Apocalypses and more

Going to try something new on Fridays that we'll call TRL Friday. Basically you (you) send me questions on Twitter and I (Vince) answer them here on the blog. (I should admit I stole this idea from my buddy Tom.) I'll keep doing it as long as I get questions. So hit me up @millerparkdrunk hashtag TRL AOL keyword baseball Ask Jeeves. Cool? Cool. Now let's go.

mgnirk asks if we think Doug Melvin's job is in jeopardy.

Short answer: No.

Long answer: Hell no.

While this season has been a huge disappointment and Mark Attanasio is probably not too happy about it he still has to realize what a great team Doug Melvin put together. He absolutely nailed the Aramis Ramirez and Norichika Aoki signings. The Lucroy extension is looking good. The rotation has been one of the better ones around and that's with Shaun Marcum missing a large amount of time with an injury. You can't fire your GM for the bullpen's performance especially when your top two (who never had ERAs close to 4 in their career) post 5+ ERAs. I don't think anyone could have seen that coming. One of the two maybe, but no way both.

In retrospect they probably should have gotten another decent bullpen arm in the offseason. Jose Veras was basically expected to be the number three guy out there and, well, maybe someone who is traded straight up for Casey McGehee isn't the best choice for that role. Just saying.

SecondHandStore wants to know which APOCALYPSE would be worse: Cat, Duck, Zombie, or Robot?

Well, obviously, the answer is robot. Have you seen the future in the Terminator movies? That place is bleak, man. There is nothing redeeming about that place whatsoever. It's like Detroit, but everywhere.

There has been so much zombie stuff on TV and in movies over the past few years that I feel like a zombie apocalypse wouldn't even be that big of a deal. We all know how to kill them, we would all really get off on the fact that we get to kill them and the whole thing would be over in a day or two.

As for the apocalypse I fear the most? Cat apocalypse. They don't make enough Zyrtec in the world for my allergies to handle a Cat apocalypse.

BMWolf7 asks if Rickie Weeks would be faster with less hair.

Who am I, Bill Nye? I don't know science, man.

How about this question: Is it time for Rickie Weeks to get a new hairstyle? The answer is yes.

In 2009 I wrote a post about Rickie looking like Play from Kid N' Play and I am pretty sure he hasn't cut his hair since. Is this Intervention worthy? It does look pretty cool, but enough is enough man. You aren't joining SOJA.

timmyt3477 is wondering if there is a Miller Park Stoner and if not wonders where he can apply.

I don't think there is a Miller Park Stoner, but if I had to do it all over again I might have went with that. (Actually, I wouldn't because I have preemie lungs and smoking makes me cough, but still hear me out.)

Think about it. Drinking makes you all emotional. Last night I drank a bottle of wine and started watching an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer where Angel breaks up with her, but then she goes to the prom and her class gives her an award for saving their lives so many times and then Angel shows up for one last dance. You know what happened? Tears started coming out of my face because of an episode of a TV show that aired 13 years ago. This is definitely the alcohol's fault and not because I am a huge pussy. Drinking is the worst.

Oh, but what does weed do to you? It relaxes you. It makes you feel good. It expands your mind, man. Did you watch yesterday's Brewers loss to the Cubs? With K-Rod blowing the lead and Alfonso Soriano (really) hitting the game winning single? Did you see that? Wasn't it terrible? Now imagine it ON WEED. It was kind of awesome, wasn't it? You saw deep into the soul of this baseball team and saw a scared white tiger that didn't know it's own strength. When Alfonso Soriano hit that ball it didn't phase you. You ate like three bags of Cheetos and stared at your orange fingers for an hour. It was like looking at the back of a five dollar bill, but better. You probably don't even remember who won and you don't care. Why? Because you got glow sticks, that's why. Being the Miller Park Stoner would be awesome. Although I imagine you won't get much writing done.

JakeInWisconsin asks if I'd like to see Zack Greinke return next season.

I guess? I mean, he's really good at baseball and if he wants to play here under a reasonable deal it's pretty hard to say no to that. He's been the 9th best pitcher by WAR in all of baseball over the past three seasons so having a guy like that on your team would be pretty awesome.

That being said I am not really in love with the idea and won't be upset if they don't even try. For one Zack Greinke is going to be really expensive and not only that he'll also require a lot of years which is what always gets you on those contracts. In 2019 I don't want my son bitching about this old weirdo who sucks taking up roster space and payroll. That wouldn't be fun for me. (Then again who even knows if there will be baseball in 2019 after the Cat Apocalypse.) Besides isn't it always fun to start fresh with someone new? Mike Fiers might not be even half as good as Greinke, but he's new and exciting. It's fun to see what he'll do next. We know what Greinke will do next and it will either be really awesome or really frustrating. Forget that. Getting back Zack Greinke would be like getting back together with your high school girlfriend. Sure, she might still be attractive, but you've been there and done that. New is always better. Even if it's not actually better. You know?