04
Jun 14

9 Totally True Milwaukee Brewers Stories That Will Literally Blow Your Mind (For Real!)

Warning: These Brewers facts may change everything you know about reality. Continue reading →


30
May 14

Ron Roenicke: A Life of Dumb Luck

roenicke-dumbIn case you missed it the other night, the Brewers won a game in which they used a pitcher to pinch hit in the tenth inning. Despite all of the factors involved and the success of the move, it was not ideal baseball strategy. Which probably shouldn't come as a surprise to you because it was executed by Ron Roenicke. Whether he has been calling in pitchers who aren't warmed up, running out of pinch hitters or not really having a basic understanding of how best to use the replay system, Ron Roenicke has proven that he isn't always the sharpest tool in the drawer. Yet for what seems like the hundredth time, everything worked out. Why?

Ron Roenicke is a baseball lifer, basically. He was a college baseball player who was drafted in the first round (!) of the 1977 draft who then went on to play for six different teams in his eight year career. Once that was done he got into managing which led him all the way to Milwaukee. Now I know what you're thinking, "Wait, how can a guy with 17 years of professional baseball experience be so bad at his job?" The answer is demon magic. Just kidding, it's dumb luck. Ron Roenicke's entire career is dumb luck. Continue reading →


16
May 14

Carlos Gomez: A Guide to Rich People Conversations

The Brewers have made the cover of Sports Illustrated. If this was 1985 that would probably be the biggest story on the internet (until people figured out you could search for the nude scene from Just One Of The Guys), but still, it's pretty cool, right? The story itself focuses on the Brewers success and Carlos Gomez's place in that success. And then somehow it leads to this:

gomez-si

(h/t @wiscoinferno / TBL)

gomez-richfamousIt seems as if Carlos Gomez would like to be a part of polite society. Forget pork and beans, he wants to wine and dine with kings and queens. He wants to grab a wine glass and wave his pinkie finger in the air like he doesn't care. Here at Miller Park Drunk we admire Carlos Gomez's ambitions and want to help him take that next step into the lifestyle of the rich and famous. That's why we've put together this helpful list of rich people conversations that Carlos Gomez can take to his next dinner party. Continue reading →


08
May 14

Scooter’s gonna Scooter, but remember Rickie Weeks?

Outside of Carlos Gomez and Jonathan Lucroy, the Brewers most consistent (healthy) hitter has been Scooter Gennett. GOOD ON YOU SCOOTER! YOU DID IT! WAY TO PROVE THOSE DOUBTERS WRONG! LITTLE GUY DONE GOOD! HUMAN HANK!

Only it's not really a compliment because the Brewers offense kinda sucks right now and his solid .283 batting average is somewhat negated by his .319 OBP and .398 SLG. His 4.9 walk percentage is pretty dang low and he doesn't hit for much power. Basically, the dude hits a bunch of singles and if he doesn't do that he probably isn't doing much. He is a solid baseball player and one that the Brewers are lucky to have to plug into this sorry ass lineup, but that is all he is. He reminds me of my teenage self, he's lucky to get to second base. He isn't a key to your lineup. He isn't a solid #2 hitter or an acceptable #3 hitter, no matter how many injuries you have. You know when Roenicke batted him third that time he was like:

scooterhittingthird

He is a dude who hits a lot of singles and that's it. That's not a bad thing, it's just not the best thing. What would be best is for Ryan Braun to come back and do Ryan Braun things. (Ryan Braun things in this case means hitting baseballs. It is not a euphemism for using drugs or getting urine collectors fired.) But who knows when that will happen. Another thing that could happen is for Rickie Weeks to get some more at-bats. Continue reading →


28
Apr 14

Minus 11

As of this writing, the Brewers are eleven games over .500, in first place in the NL Central and currently own the best record in the league. Hang on, I need to re-read that sentence three or four times to let it sink in.

Okay, I'm good.

minus11At 18 wins and 7 losses, the Brewers are in a really good place. They are in the driver's seat for the division and have already surpassed pretty much everyone's expectations for them this season. Even if you were someone who thought the Brewers were something like a .500 team (me), you should be excited because .500 ball puts them at 86-87 wins and, at worst, a Wild Card spot.  It's pretty cool. In the past I've been known as an optimist regarding the Brewers season outlook so in theory I should be bouncing off the walls right now, but today I'm going to go a different route. Today, I'd like to be known as the Winston Wolfe of Brewers bloggers. After all, there is still something like 3 days left in the month of April and 167 games left in the season. Let's not start s-ing each other's d's quite yet.

We need to be real. So right now we're going to reveal...

ELEVEN THINGS THAT COULD GO WRONG WITH THE 2014 BREWERS Continue reading →

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