29
May 09

The Remetee is the experience

Say, have I ever told you how stupid I think Ryan Braun's shirt line is? I haven't? Oh man, I hate them. I think they are stupid. I would never wear one of those things! Why, only an idiot would want to wear one of those right? Right? Ummmm.... right?

Apparently not. Apparently these shirts are HIP. Remetee is probably the biggest thing to hit the scene since Kris Kross decided to wear their pants backwards (because inside out was wiggity wiggity wack). Celebrities and athletes of all shapes and sizes wear them. Everyone from American Idol runner up Adam Lambert to Jerry Rice wear them. WWE "wrestler" Gene Snitsky (who once killed a baby I believe) wears Remetee. Even musicians and producers like Sleepy Brown and System of a Down bassit Shavo wear them. These celebrities wear these shirts with pride and make them look good doing it. Remetee has arrived and celebrities love them. That being said, not every celebrity can make them look good. Some people maybe you shouldn't be photographing in these shirts if you want them to sell.

Like Carrie Prejean, the controversial Miss California, who gives the Remetee shirt the look of "hating gays".

Carrie Prejean

Do you want me to take this off now?

Or tennis pro Marat Safin who gives the shirt the "volleyball scene from Top Gun" look.

marat-safin

After the picture you'll introduce me to A-Rod?

Tom Green gives Remetee the "I dated Drew Barrymore once. No, really I did. I used to be somebody." look.

tom-green

My bum is on the shirt, bum is on the shirt. Get it? Because I had that one song?

None of these models are quite as offensive or say to the potential shirt buyer "STAY AWAY" as much as Yovanni Gallardo does.

yovanni gallardo

Am I doing it right, Ryan? Do I look cool?

No, Yovanni. A million times no.

If you are interested in buying a Remetee shirt all you have to do is go to another site because Miller Park Drunk does not support anyone wearing these.

(Thanks to Rachel for the tip.)


13
Feb 09

Let’s drink for America

ste_rod WBC adHey A-Rod. We know you did steroids. We don't really care that much, but we love the fact that your image is "tarnished" and that in a few years people will be wanting asterisks next to everything you ever accomplished. We also know that you cheated on your wife with Madonna. We would think this was cool if your name was Daryl Strawberry and you did this sometime between her breakup with Sean Penn and Like A Prayer. Unfortuanately for you, you waited until she joined up in a seemingly made up religion and started going through painstaking processes to keep herself young looking. I guess it's not your fault you were 14 when that album came out. We know that you like teenagers. We know that this might just be a ploy to get people off the scent of Madonna. We know a lot about you, Alex. We know almost everything, but do you know what bothers us the most?

animated-american-flagThe fact that you were born in the USA and chose to play for the Dominican Republic instead! Seriously?! You're playing for "your country" Alex? It seems to me you were born in New York and then briefly lived in the Dominican before moving back to Miami. It seems to me that you are an American citizen with Dominican descent. You should try moving back there and telling me how that works out for you. Tell me if you like the drug trafficking and high crime threat. Tell me if you prefer the schools and medical care for your children. Tell me if you like living in a place that doesn't have a Scores. Or personal masseuses.  I'm pretty sure you'll be back, Alex.

[AwfulAnnoucning]

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