19
Jul 12

Making sense of John Axford

JOHN AXFORD IS THE WORST PITCHER EVER AND I HATE HIM AND IF IT WASN'T FOR HIM AND HIS STUPID BLOWN SAVES WE WOULD PROBABLY BE IN FIRST PLACE AND BE BIG TIME BUYERS AT THE TRADE DEADLINE LIKE WE'D PROBABLY GET PRINCE BACK AND COLE HAMELS AND PAUL MOLITOR AND JESUS AND BATMAN AND A NEW MANAGER WHO COULD PROBABLY JUST BE BATMANS BUTLER ALFRED BECAUSE HE SEEMS REALLY SMART. MAN CAN YOU GUYS BELIEVE THAT ROBIN DIED IN DARK KNIGHT RISES? ANYWAYS IF IT WASNT FOR STUPID AXFORD PULLING A derrick turnbow THEN WE'D PROBABLY HAVE ALL THOSE GUYS AND JOSH HAMILTON TOO AND THEN WIN LIKE A MILLION WORLD SERIES. WE COULD HAVE LIKE REALLY COOL COMMERCIALS WITH AARON RODGERS AND RYAN BRAUN BEING LIKE YO CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE, NO YOU CHECK OUT MY RING DUDE LOL. THE POINT IS I HATE JOHN AXFORD AND HIS STUPID MUSTACHE AND I HOPE HE FALLS OFF A BRIDGE INTO A MILLION GALLONS OF WATER THAT IS ON FIRE AND IT BURNS HIS HAIR OFF BECAUSE HE NEEDS TO CUT IT OFF ANYWAYS BECAUSE IT ANNOYS ME WHEN HE IS ON TV BLOWING A SAVE AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE HIM PITCH EVER EVER AGAIN.

HE WAS COOL LAST YEAR THO.

I don't know maybe I'm just defensive about people who overreact to things, but that's how everyone sounds to me when they talk about John Axford. Crazy, irrational, stupid; basically like any girl who has ever dated me for over three months.

Not that a lot of the vitriol towards John Axford is undeserved. He hasn't really done his job all that well this season. He's had trouble locating his pitches which leads to walks and bad counts which lead to big homeruns. It's not been a real fun time to be John Axford this season and he knows it, just like you know that watching John Axford has not been very fun. But has he really been that bad? Continue reading →


12
Dec 11

Ryan Braun on Free Ryan Braun

This Ryan Braun stuff is out of control and it is only getting worse. Please try to remember that nothing concrete has come out. The MLB has not publicly commented on this matter and they won't until a decision is made. You have to think they seriously regret that this has ever come out and wish that it never did. All we have to work with is the leaked info and it doesn't really tell us much. Ryan Braun tested for high levels of testosterone. And then he didn't. That's all we really know right now. Before we jump to conclusions we should think long and hard about this. We should consider it from all perspectives. Right now, Ryan Braun's perspective.

Hi, I'm Ryan Braun and that picture you see to your right is me. (Damn, I'm good looking.) I play professional baseball for the Milwaukee Brewers. I am a former first round draft pick who won the National League Rookie of the Year in 2007. I am also a four time Silver Slugger award winner, a four time All-Star and I won the 2011 MVP. Since joining the Brewers in 2007 we have made the playoffs twice, two more times than the Brewers did in the previous 25 years without me.

Outside of baseball, I have business interests in two restaurants in Wisconsin: Ryan Braun's Restaurant in Lake Geneva and Ryan Braun's Graffito in Milwaukee's Third Ward. I endorse a variety of products for Wisconsin businesses and also have a variety of nationwide of endorsements. Surely, you've heard of my Limelight Fusion Energy drinks or my personal line of Affliction shirts called Remetee. The odds are if you are watching TV right now, you will see me. I'm everywhere.

I have built my baseball career and my business career through hard work and protecting my personal brand. I work hard to keep myself out of controversial situations and I am a generally good person with integrity. Continue reading →


04
Feb 11

Super Bowl XLV Preview

The Green Bay Packers play the Pittsburgh Steelers in the XLVth Super Bowl this Sunday and everyone is talking about it. You can't walk two feet without seeing something green, hearing about Aaron Rodgers or noticing someone in a Steelers sweatshirt that you had never seen them in before. Everyone has changed their facebook profile picture to a Packers player instead of themselves which, honestly, is a nice replacement for the self portrait they took with their cell phone camera. Most of the people I know can tell me, down to the minute, when the game starts. It's insane. You'd think that one of these teams was from Milwaukee. (What? Green Bay is where now? -Ed.)

I realize that it's completely pointless to try and mention the Milwaukee Brewers in this space until at least Tuesday. (If you really want to know my feelings on the Mark Kotsay signing look at this graph.) For one thing, they haven't even started spring training yet. For another, PACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERSPACKERS. So if you can't beat them join them. I may not be an expert on the Green Bay Packers, but I am an expert on watching television, eating and drinking. We also know a bit about gambling, 8-2 in the playoffs, and are going for the Packers on Sunday. There is money at stake, we're just as excited as you are. We basically know everything you need to know about Sunday and that's why we are here to bring you...

MILLER PARK DRUNK'S GUIDE TO THE SUPER BOWL

Continue reading →


29
Dec 10

Green Bay Packers face tough test this Sunday

By any way you measure it, the Green Bay Packers have had a great season. They currently have the second largest point differential of any team in the NFL. Their DVOA, a stat created by Football Outsiders,which I hear is pretty good, ranks them at 23.8% good for 5th overall in the NFL and mere percentage points from 3rd overall. Football Outsiders also ranks them with the second best defense and fifth best offense (in DVOA), and if it wasn't for their terribly low special teams rank, they could be the best team in the NFL. All of their losses are by four points or less. The Green Bay Packers are a much better team than 9-6.

Their opponent on Sunday, the Chicago Bears, is just about the opposite in every way. They are practically an average team in DVOA, their offense is among the league's worst, and their point differential is second lowest among (if the season ended today) NFC playoff teams. The other team? St. Louis Rams. So, yeah. Seven of their eleven wins have come by less than one score. The Chicago Bears are a good team, but they are not this good.

In a world where the numbers are always correct and luck never comes into play, it would be the Chicago Bears playing for their playoff lives, and the Green Bay Packers who would be choosing between playing for the chance at home field advantage or resting their stars on the final weekend. Of course, the NFL is not a world dominated by numbers, and the Green Bay Packers need to win this Sunday if they want to control their own destiny. It doesn't take a math genius to point out that a Packers loss and subsequent missing of the playoffs would be a huge disappointment. Not only would it be a big win for the super annoying Brett-Favre-should-have-the-right-to-choose-when-he-wanted-to-leave goofballs, but it would just plain suck. We need an excuse to drink beyond this weekend. Plus, a team with this sort of talent, that can lose key players and carry on without missing a beat, just doesn't come around that often. This is a team with a chance to win the Super Bowl, and there is no way of knowing if that same chance will return next year. The Packers need to win on Sunday and see how far this thing can go. They have to.

But what if they didn't? What if they didn't make the playoffs? Then what? Continue reading →


14
Sep 09

Morning Read

zubaz must dieThis morning's read is an article by one of the greatest writers of our generation, the smart, funny, witty and modest Vince Morales returns to Decider Milwaukee (and Madison) for an article entitled "Talkin' Baseball: Miller Park Drunk this you should forget the Packers & stick with the Brewers." That's right, the night after one of the great Packer comebacks, an Aaron Rodgers led comeback win against the Bears at that, we decided to tell everyone that watching the Packers is stupid. Classic.

Read it. It's good.

Since we're in the shameless plug department I might as well try this. I bought too many tickets to next week's series with the Cubs. I have four extra tickets to every game and am just trying to get rid of them, taking a big loss in the process. Check out my ebay page for details or just click Read More.

Until then, read our Decider article! Especially you, Madison! Continue reading →

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