Miller Park Drunk

Braun trends (geek edition)

A lot of you have been curious as to why Ryan Braun's struggles this season are happening at the rate they are, and to find out things like that takes some time, as you can see here in this Fan Graphs blog that breaks down several factors for Braun's season.

And I'm like "I don't know, I'm just paid to write about him for my job. How the hell am I supposed to know why he struggles?"

This is why this is one of my favorite sites.

No it's not. I actually have it on good authority that these are your favorite sites.

1. Bros Icing Bros (RIP)
2. The Dirty (Nik Richie is the shit, yo.)
3. Myspace

The overall theme is Braun seems to be sacrificing power numbers for putting the ball in play more often. However, he is putting it in play with less authority than in the past and that is a major reason for his dip. It is a very interesting breakdown by David Golebiewski.

David Golebiewski? He sounds like a nerd.

But I'll warn you, if you're not a numbers freak/geek/nerd who loves breakdowns, be careful with this post. There are plenty of charts and stats that read like alphabet soup but provide solid information.

Seriously, if you understand anything in this post you are a huge nerd. Do you like Star Wars? Do you play Dungeons & Dragons? Have you ever fantasized about Six from Battlestar Galactica? If so, you'll love this post because this post is for nerds and geeks like you.

So I guess the question is, should Braun sacrifice striking out less in order to hit for more pop?

While we're here A-dub has another question, should he put his pants on one leg at a time or both at the same time? It seems like it'd be a lot faster if he just put both legs in at the same time, but he always seem to fall down. Can any geeks figure this out for him?

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Because I am insanely jealous that Anthony Witrado has a job working for the Journal Sentinel and I don't, I am going to make fun of him on a regular basis FJM style. It really has nothing to do with his writing I am just a bitter wannabe. Well maybe it has a little bit to do with his writing.

Okay, it's completely due to his writing. Today's story: Fielder uses fear as his fuel

Phoenix — Looking at him, it's far from obvious.

That he's a pussy.

His imposing stature, the tattoos, the snarling looks, the regal name. All those things just act as his mask.

His mask to hide the fact that he is a wuss.

But the fear is immune to those elements and nestles comfortably inside Prince Fielder, ignoring any resistance from his outward machismo and bravado.

Much like a gay man still in the closet.

His psyche is a breeding ground for that fear. It is a constant within the man.

Like his heartbeat, only wussier.

The fear consumes every aspect of his life, and has so from childhood.

That movie Child's Play? Totally freaked him out. Read the rest of this entry »

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What's that? You want a regular feature making fun of A-dub? You got it! Today's story: Gomez, Slow Down.

Phoenix - I just got done watching some of the position players take BP on one of the back fields and centerfielder Carlos Gomez was in the bunch.

He's about to get real with us and bring some scouting knowledge. Get ready. He used to play, you know. Read the rest of this entry »

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The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. In part two convinced that they were the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who liked him at Miller Park only to be met with more failure and a cross-dressing Doug Melvin. In part three Anthony blamed the state of Wisconsin instead of his own shortcomings and headed back to his home in California where his favorite team was playing a meaningful game, but he found that Hollywood celebrities and the Dodgers did not like him either. With nowhere to go he returned to Wisconsin looking for answers. Read the rest of this entry »

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The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. In part two convinced that they were the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who liked him at Miller Park only to be met with more failure and a cross-dressing Doug Melvin. Blaming the state of Wisconsin instead of his own shortcomings, Anthony headed back to his home in California where his favorite team was playing a meaningful game. Read the rest of this entry »

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