19
Jan 11

Prince Fielder is the highest paid Milwaukee Brewer of all time

Milwaukee, WI -- Prince Fielder settled his arbitration case with the Milwaukee Brewers and will now make $15.5 million dollars to play in 2011 making him the highest paid Milwaukee Brewer of all time. He gets a $5m raise over last season and has now made over $36.7 million in his Brewers playing career. He surpasses teammate Zack Greinke and former Brewer Jeff Suppan to become the highest paid player in team history.

"I still made $42 million from that team in my career so I don't really care." Said Jeff Suppan when asked about losing the team record. "Prince still can't touch me there."

Added Suppan "Can I get a plug in? Print this article out for 15% off your next meal at Soup's. Don't miss $5 Fridays and our Fast Pitch lunch specials. Go Cardinals."

Fielder doesn't know what he plans to do with the money, but according to his wife he is going to save every penny. "Prince has another thing coming if he thinks he's going to spend all that money on a fancy new car or something for himself. That money is going straight to me and the kids. College fund, school clothes, braces, books, toys, Justin Bieber performing at their birthday party; only the best for our kids and don't forget about me. Don't even think about forgetting about me Prince" said Chanel, who does all the hard work around here anyway. "Prince can keep driving the mini van. There's nothing wrong with it."

When reached for comment Fielder's agent Scott Boras just threw money in the air and laughed maniacally. Our attempts to follow up failed when his secretary said that he was "super crunk" from drinking a virgin's blood and that it'd be best to leave.

According to long time teammate Corey Hart it would be a good idea for Prince, who has been a vegetarian since 2008, to go get a cheeseburger from McDonalds.

"He's always going on about how when he was a kid he did a McDonalds commercial with his dad and Cecil didn't buy him a cheeseburger. 'A double cheeseburger was only $1.19!' he says it every time we pass a McDonalds. It's like you're a millionaire just buy yourself a cheeseburger, man."

Fielder has also expressed some worry about his new found fortune. "I just keep hearing about how more money means more problems and that doesn't sound very cool. And then I heard this song that was like 'money must be funny in a rich man's world' which I have no idea what that meant, but it doesn't sound good. Really catchy though."

At press time, Fielder decided it was best not to spend any money and stick with the 2008 Honda Odyssey he'd been driving for the past three years. "It's just been so good to us, you know?"


19
Jan 10

Tuesday's Nippy Beaker

rickie-weeksHere's some things to read while watching Avatar porn (SFW).

Jody Gerut, Rickie Weeks and Carlos Gomez have all agreed to deals avoiding arbitration leaving Dave Bush, Carlos Villanueva, Todd Coffey and Corey Hart as the only ones remaining unsigned. I imagine Corey Hart is going to act like a punk like he did last year.

Speaking of Corey Hart, Sandra Bullock captured the Golden Globe for best actress for her role in "The Blind Side". When reached for comment Corey said that movie was "gooder than grits." I haven't seen it because I've been too busy with the site, but maybe some day. I have seen this trailer for the A-Team though which looks quite good.

The Brewers don't play the Twins in Minnesota until May, but I just might have to make the trip up there. Why? Target Field will offer walleye on a stick. Personally, I'm more of a pork chop on a stick kind of guy. I still say they should have put a roof on that place.

Speaking of roofs, popular Milwaukee restaurant Pizza Man had it's roof and the rest of it burn down. (h/t Doctors of Za)

Here's a story for everyone who has ever complained about the wait for the bathroom at Miller Park. It could be worse, you could be a ball boy at the Australian Open and pee yourself.

Around baseball:

Looking for a new favorite player after the departures of Seth McClung, Mike Cameron and JJ Hardy? You could always join Zaunbie Nation. WARNING: Canadian rock gods Rush will start playing. Prepare to rock out.

Meanwhile, Al's Ramblings takes a break from dissing the left, making fun of old media and fantasizing about Meghan McCain to express how much he misses Seth McClung. I do too.

On this day in history Jeff Juden was born. Also, Sargent Slaughter defeated the Ultimate Warrior for the WWF title under circumstances that I would call nefarious.

Oh, and I knew there was a reason I didn't do John Cena impressions.

That's all I have for today, unless you're looking for a lesson in ownage by Jack Bauer.

Drink up.


20
Oct 09

Why Felipe Lopez won’t be back

felipelopezAdmittedly I am the internet's biggest Rickie Weeks fan (check out this post that looked so awesome on Opening Day) so perhaps I am a bit biased, but I don't think Felipe Lopez will be back next season and I don't even think there is a chance. Why do I think this? It's simple. This quote from Doug Melvin:

"We view Rickie as our second baseman at this point."

Or in other words, Felipe Lopez won't be back.

Now, make no mistake about it the Brewers WILL offer him arbitration. I think that could be part of the reason they traded for him in the first place. (Last season when the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia they had a plan. Make the playoffs and then replace the farm system they lost through picks from Sabathia and Sheets signing elsewhere. Only one of those two things happened and the system wasn't as deep as it might have been therefore they weren't as free to make a move this season. That's just a theory of mine though.) The fact is he's a Boras client coming off a great season and Boras thinks he can get more than a one year deal in the open market, but for a second let's just say he accepts arbitration. Could he be back? Continue reading →


24
Jul 09

Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Right Field Bleachers, Part 2

beermilwaukeeshirtPart one was a bit more by the book and with part two we had a bit more fun. If you aren't already doing so check out Right Field Bleachers, it's a lot like this site only with more writers, more photshopping and less pretend conversations. Good stuff.

MPD: Congratulations on making me gag myself. Once with the clam chowder analogy and a second time at the thought of Vicente Padilla in a Brewers uniform (hang on.... yep, this one just made me gag a third time). I think we're all at the point now where we are getting antsy for the Brewers to do something. Earlier in the season Melvin was quote as saying he wasn't sure if he needed a bat or a pitcher and I think it has become painfully clear to anyone with even the slightest of baseball knowledge (Tom Haudricourt comes to mind) what the team needs. We're well past the point of wondering if this team will make a move and now we are forced to sit and wait for it to happen. We've actually been (seemingly) waiting so long that it's gotten to the point where people are wondering if they might actually need two starting pitchers. I'm all about waiting for the right deal/player/trade, but come on already. People are dying out there!

You mentioned that you wouldn't mind seeing Corey Hart leaving in a trade and my kneejerk reaction is to say "well, who would replace him?" (Catalanatto is probably a better hitter, but a HUGE defensive dropoff. Gerut is the opposite.) At the same time the two easiest positions to fill on the field are first base and corner outfield. There are lots of bats out there that could step in and do close to what he's doing so I could almost see it. Almost. I'm just not convinced the team is ready to give up on him yet (which is weird considering all the grief he gave them in arbitration.) Does his popularity have anything to do with it? I don't know, but the more I think about Corey Hart, the more he reminds me of Jeff Francouer of the Braves. No great batting eye to speak of. Power to spare. Perpetually underachieving. Short flashes of brilliance. Ends up league average or worse. Hart is older, but he's like Francouer in that he was a lot better two years ago. Hart's improved his walk rate quite a bit this year (which could easily come back to Earth), but so did his strikeout rate went up too and it's come at the cost of some power (which could easily not come back to Earth). I am not sure if he's ever going to be much better than he was in 2007 and considering his first half of 2008 was likely a serious outlier, maybe dangling him out there is the right move. If the team can get some value for him now, why not? Sure, a few thousand female fans would be upset but they had to have figured out he wasn't really attractive at some point right? I don't know if Corey Hart gets you Ian Snell of the Pirates or Erik Bedard of the Mariners. I really just don't know, but I'd like to see Doug try and figure that out. I suspect even the Moustache hates hearing that at-bat music three times a game.

Forget Hart for a second though, let's talk about another can't miss Brewer: Mat Gamel. He only spells his name with one T so you know he's bad ass. I understand (and love) that Casey McGehee has been playing out of his mind for the past month, but can this dude get more than one start in a week? He's shown flashes and in my arm-chair-scout-who-has-no-idea-what-he's-talking-about opinion his at-bats have improved since he first came up quite a bit. He deserves an honest shot out there before they switch McGehee into virtually full time 3B mode. Give him two weeks of starts, then we'll talk. It's all I ask really because I think Gamel could be one of the next great Brewers and he should be out there playing. Or if the team sends him down, it should be to practice right field in preparation for him finishing the season there. Where do you stand on the send him down/keep him up argument and where do you see him going in the future as a Brewer? Continue reading →

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