The Matrix is a system designed to keep Ryan Braun off third base

Baseball May 20th, 2010

Last night the Brewers fell to the power of the pierogies and lost to the Pittsburgh Pirates. They had their chances, a few leads went by the wayside and in the ninth inning they had Braun on first with nobody out and Prince Fielder at the plate. What happened? Well, Prince Fielder struck out on a high fastball that everyone in the world saw coming except for him and Braun got caught trying to take third on a steal after Andy Laroche did some sort of "Matrix stuff". And that, as they say, was the ballgame. But what exactly happened out there? Read the rest of this entry »

Zack Hample, Conan O’Brien and why ballhawking is still a bad choice

Baseball October 14th, 2009

I like to think that I am the world's foremost expert on d-bags who wear gloves to a baseball game. When I am asked to go on CNN to comment on the Happy Youngster's inevitable serial killing spree, I want it to to look like this.

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I can talk and write about this topic forever. They never stop being fun to make fun of. I know the ins and outs of the game and in some ways I'm the Bill James of the hating-ballhawks community. So you should know that NOTHING on this planet gave me more pleasure than seeing Conan O'Brien give him the business on the Tonight Show. In case you missed it: Read the rest of this entry »

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