11
May 11

EXCLUSIVE: Pathetic loser’s demands for Fielder’s 200th homerun ball

In exciting Brewers news Prince Fielder hit his 200th career homerun today in a terrible loss against the Padres. The milestone homerun should be the first of many for Prince Fielder this season. He will tie Cecil Cooper for 4th on the Brewers all time list and should make it all the way to number two by the time the season ends.

As if the loss wasn't bad enough, the historic homerun lost some more of it's luster when it was caught by Milwaukee's resident ballhawk, The Happy Youngster (real name Nick Yohanek). The child impersonator is well known among the ballhawk community and gained national scorn when he produced a list of demands for then Florida Marlins' rookie Chris Coghlan on his first career homerun ball. The Marlins' star eventually got his ball, but admitted that Yohanek was a real douchebag about it.

"He wasn't the most polite or respectful guy about the whole process," Coghlan said Thursday. "He told me he goes around a lot and catches these balls and holds them for ransom — even though he doesn't say that he does, it seems that way."

While Yohanek identifies himself as a Brewer fan (despite most Brewer fans wishing he wouldn't) he is not above holding a Milwaukee Brewer for a similar ransom. It is just what he does and Prince Fielder is no exception. The Youngster has submitted his list of demands to the Brewers and thanks to some well placed connections within the Milwaukee Brewers organization we have obtained a copy of those demands. You won't find this anywhere else. This is a 100% Miller Park Drunk exclusive. Find the shocking list of demands after the jump. Continue reading →


14
Oct 09

Zack Hample, Conan O’Brien and why ballhawking is still a bad choice

I like to think that I am the world's foremost expert on d-bags who wear gloves to a baseball game. When I am asked to go on CNN to comment on the Happy Youngster's inevitable serial killing spree, I want it to to look like this.

cnnpic

I can talk and write about this topic forever. They never stop being fun to make fun of. I know the ins and outs of the game and in some ways I'm the Bill James of the hating-ballhawks community. So you should know that NOTHING on this planet gave me more pleasure than seeing Conan O'Brien give him the business on the Tonight Show. In case you missed it: Continue reading →