14
Dec 11

TMZ EXCLUSIVE: TMZ tries to get Matt Kemp to bury Ryan Braun and fails

TMZ.com, your #1 source for amateur photographers bothering famous people on the street and then making money off of it despite it's questionable at best legality, caught up with Matt Kemp at The Grove in LA this week and said something stupid about him getting the MVP award for Christmas. Matt Kemp handled it like a pro and dismissed the claims, adding that Ryan Braun was a "good dude" and his homie.

After failing at that the reporter interviewer random dude with a camera decides to bring up Barry Bonds (timely!) to see if Matt Kemp will say anything about him and again, he fails.

It should be noted that TMZ.com (Your #1 source for celebrity gossip! Check your local listings!) posts this video with the headline "Matt Kemp: Don't Call Ryan Braun A Cheater... Yet" despite, you know, Matt Kemp never saying that or anything close to that.

This is pretty stupid, but it shows how far this story has gone. Continue reading →


22
Apr 11

Let’s defend the Ryan Braun deal!

Think you've heard the last from me on Ryan Braun? NO WAY! We got another nine years of this stuff! (Or at least another eight months of this stuff.)

A lot of people are saying the deal is a mistake and some people are saying that it's one of the worst deals in all of baseball. Those people are all stupid. This deal is risky, but it's also smart. Re-signing Ryan Braun to this deal is the best thing the Brewers could have done.

Why? Three reasons: Continue reading →


21
Apr 10

BEAT THOSE PIRATES

Man, if there is one thing I hate it's those stupid, smelly Pirates! They are the pits! They think they are so cool with their black and yellow jerseys and their winning record and their Indian minor league pitchers. They think their better than us, that's what they think! Hey Pittsburgh, ketchup sucks! Yeah, that's right I said ketchup sucks! Stadium sauce drinks ketchup's milkshake punks! And racing pierogis? HOW ORIGINAL! Seriously though, what the hell is a pierogi? A boiled or baked dumpling of unleavened dough stuffed with varying ingredients? STUPID! That doesn't even sound good! Sausages bang pierogi's girlfriends and never call her again!

Check out this stupid blog I found called "Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke?" (he's probably gone to the same place every old Pirate goes, straight to HELL.)

You have probably noticed over the past couple days that I'm not exactly over the moon about the Pirates' play to this point in the season, 7-5 record or not. What would make me extremely happy, however, is a couple wins against the Brewers this week. I know Brewers' fans think it's funny that we Pirate fans get all worked up over these two teams, but I really, really don't like Ryan Braun or Prince Fielder or their stupid untucked shirts and frankly, everyone needs a little bit of a rivalry to get through the season.

"Waaa the Brewers beat us when they play us just like every other team, but they have Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder who have more talent than any single player we've had since Barry Bonds, waaa! Let's romanticize a player who had like five good seasons for us, his joy for the game was infectious! Waaa!" Why don't you guys pull the tampon out of your diaper and shut the hell up? Maybe if your pitching coach Dave Kerwin could teach your guys how to pitch you wouldn't give up eight runs to us. Way to "play up" to your rival, losers.

Pirates? Pssh, more like butt Pirates am I right? EAT IT SUCKERS!

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