04
May 09

Enough with the gimmicks people

Let's do things a little differently today. I am going to show you a few pictures and you can decide for yourself how you feel about them. Then when we are done with that, I am going to tell you exactly how I feel about them. Sound good? Good.

banana asshole

gorilla assholes

keg asshole(Thanks to StB08 on Twitter)

bunny asshole

Now, taken one at a time these people could be considered funny, cool or at the very least creative. I give them kudos for their creativity and enthusiasm. However, I seriously doubt their intentions. When you are dressing up like this, you aren't going to the game to watch the team play. You are going to the game to get attention. Of course these people want the Brewers to win the game, but what REALLY makes them happy is for people to give them high-fives and say "Oh man, I love your costume." And you know what? I am not going to do it. I am not going to give them the adulation they so desperately seek. They are attention whores. Plain and simple. The only attention whores I like are the ones who double as regular whores too.

Every single series I go to I end up seeing more and more of these people. They multiply like someone poured water on Gizmo's back. I'm not saying I want to live in a world where these people don't exist. Like my mom used to tell me, every family needs a big, fat, stupid idiot. The thing is there are far too many of these people out there right now and if someone doesn't say something now this may spin out of control. To the point where every game starts to look more like a costume party at Elton John's condo than a baseball game.

So here I am saying it: cut it out. You hear me guys in the gorilla outfits? That can't be comfortable and this isn't a freaking Phoenix Suns game. You hear me banana guy? I honestly don't even understand what you are going for there. You hear me rabbit head? (Actually, you probably don't. That head looks pretty thick.) This is a BASEBALL game, you are here to watch BASEBALL. Save your furry fantasies for the bedroom. I swear to you that you can have fun at this place without dressing like that. SO STOP IT.

(None of the above applies to shave stuff in your chest guy. Don't ever change my friend.)


30
Apr 09

LOLBREWERS: Yovani’s Big Day

When you go to a baseball game at noon and then proceed to stay out til bar time, that's a long day. My thoughts of the game are this: Yovani is awesome and what the hell were the Pirates thinking having Snell throw 130 pitches (and why, oh why, did they try to steal with two outs and Braun at the plate while Snell is throwing his 129th, 130th and 131st pitches to Braun? Tired pitcher/best hitter. This isn't brain surgery.) I had fun making fun of the Pirates bullpen quite a bit and at one point told them "don't even wait for the call, just start throwing." Seriously, it's not like he was throwing a perfect game.

Anyways, Yo's awesome and that's all that matters.

LOLBREWERS Yovani Gallardo

LOLBREWERS Ryan Braun

LOLBREWERS Yovani Gallardo Home run

LOLBREWERS Ian Snell

LOLBREWERS Yovani Gallardo

Did anyone enjoy the live twittering of the game? It was a bit difficult and my friends were a little annoyed with me, but I thought it went off well. I get a lot of @replies, so that's cool. Let me know what you think and I might make it a regular thing when I go to games.

Also, today is the last today to Become a Fan of us on facebook and win two tickets to the 5/13 game against the Marlins. They are looking like they will be Field Outfield Reserve which have a face value of $38/ea. So we got that going for us. So, do it already. 125 people can't be wrong.

LOLBREWERS


12
Apr 09

A quick word about tonight’s game

I just got home from tonight's game (I actually went to all three this weekend) and had one quick thought about tonight's game. I don't want to talk about Soup or my boyfriend Rickie, I just want to say one thing.

If Milton Bradley doesn't get hurt, Prince Fielder hits a grand slam and we have a completely different baseball game. Reed Johnson won this game for the Cubs, hands down. Why didn't Piniella move Fukudome to RF and have Reed play CF, a preferable defensive alignment, when he came in? Dumb luck. Not only was it dumb luck, it's a perfect example of Reed Johnson making Piniella look like a genius (instead of the three pitchers in one inning, two days in a row at the beginning of April guy he is).

The score says 8-5 and it counts as a loss, but watching the game and seeing the things that happened give me no reason to worry.

Except for Suppan, what is up with him?


09
Apr 09

Guide to Opening Day: To Bong or Not to Bong?

Miller Park Drunk Guide To Opening Day

To Bong or Not to Bong?: A guide to getting drunk

"Luther said I could learn some things from you. I already know how to drink" - The Sting

Of course you know how to drink. I wouldn't doubt it for a second. You've probably never had too much to drink and thrown up. Or said something you shouldn't have. Fell down, been thrown out of a bar, attempted a backflip or chewed your arm off to get away from a girl you woke up next to. You've probably never kissed a dude because you thought it would be funny or split your pants or threw up at a bar ON the bar. You know how to drink, you wouldn't do these things.

Here's the thing, I have. I've done all those things. I have done more stupid things while I was drunk then pretty much everyone you've ever met. I've ruined more relationships, spilled more tequilla on myself, sent more regrettable texts and had more heads shaken at me (oh, you) than my entire readership combined. Is this something I'm proud of? Of course not. I wish I could drink like a normal person and do normal things. I wish I had more than three readers. It's just that when I drink I am fairly certain that I can do a standing backflip and will later have to throw up. These things happen. So while you may think you know how to drink, I'm going to tell you how NOT to drink at Opening Day. It's my pleasure, really.

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