30
Aug 13

Goodbye John Axford

johnaxfordmusicCan you think of a better pitcher in Brewers history than John Axford?

Lots. Tons and tons of them. My browser just crashed there were so many search results.

Can you think of a better reliever in Brewers history than John Axford?

Most definitely. He had his stretches, but there have been others who have matched them and others who have beat them. (I think. I didn't really do the research on this one.)

Can you think of a better closer in Brewers history than John Axford?

Sure. Despite being second on the Brewers all-time saves list, the last two years have basically erased the idea that John Axford is or was an awesome closer (even though he really was for a minute.) The idea of "awesome closer" is admittedly a stupid kind of thing, but he was pretty dominant at one point. The best? You'll have to go through something called Doug Henry first, pal.

Can you think of a cooler guy in Brewers history than John Axford?

Probably not. Continue reading →


16
Aug 13

What a difference four years makes

Four years ago the Brewers were coming off their first playoff season in forever, Ryan Braun owned the city, the sun was shining, the skies were blue, there wasn't a cloud in the sky and all was right with the world. The Brewers were embarking on their 40th anniversary season and were held up as an example of how to do things right. The Brewers built a playoff team through smart drafting and Ryan Braun was the clean, talented future face of the game. It was a simpler time, really. braundog2

Meanwhile, on the other side of the country Alex Rodriguez was mired in a steroid controversy. Shocking, I know. While Braun was becoming one of the most popular baseball players in the game, he felt the need to stand by his friend who just so happened to be one of it's most hated.

"Everybody makes mistakes, and I'm not the type of person that's going to change my opinion about who he is just because he made a mistake," Braun said. "I wouldn't just disassociate myself with somebody just because he made a mistake. I don't think anybody is perfect, and I don't think he's ever pretended to be perfect."

Making a mistake and not being perfect... That sounds familiar, doesn't it?

"As I have acknowledged in the past, I am not perfect," Braun said. "I realize now that I have made some mistakes."

Oh yeah, that.

Look, I'm not here to vilify Braun for any of this stuff. Not again. If anything, I am over it. What I didn't realize at the time that it all went down is the way that the world would turn on Ryan Braun for this. You need to remember that whenever people get that upset over things then it probably isn't deserved. If people got as upset about the atrocities the government commits every single day as they did about Ryan Braun eating some fucking lozenges then we might actually get somewhere in this lifetime, but that's not the way life works. Not anymore. People only care about minute bullshit that doesn't matter in the long run and they let talking heads get into their brain and rot it away. Johnny Manziel parties and signs his name on a photograph. BAN HIM FOR LIFE! Get lost with that stuff. Use your brains. Why can't college kids make money when universities make billions? Why are steroids even illegal? Why is weed illegal? Why do we have laws that stop people from doing what they want to do?

Okay, I'll get off my libertarian anarchist soapbox and get back to my numberswiki.com

point which is this: what a difference four years makes. Four years ago Ryan Braun was defending Alex Rodriguez when the whole world was turning on him. Now? Alex Rodriguez is apparently the one who threw Ryan Braun under the bus as Ryan takes his place as most hated man in baseball. This is baseball. Continue reading →


30
Jun 11

CC Sabathia, The Brewers and You

The Brewers lost their second game in a row to the New York Yankees tonight and are facing a sweep tomorrow afternoon at Yankee Stadium. We knew this series would be tough, but we didn't think they were going to be swept. At least we hoped not. Of course the Brewers can avoid that tomorrow by winning, but it won't be easy. The Brewers send Randy Wolf to the mound and while he's been very good this season I can't imagine the Yankees aren't licking their lips like Mo Vaughn at an all-you-can-eat wing buffet in anticipation of facing him. To make matters worse the Yankees are sending their ace to the mound, CC Sabathia. Yes, that CC Sabathia.

I should preface what I am about to write by noting that I really like CC Sabathia. I've always been a fan of his. He's like Doc Gooden and Willie "Da Bomb" Richardson wrapped together in a tortilla, topped with cheese and buffalo sauce, sprinkled with Jesus. In other words, he's awesome. (Coincidentally, that's what CC Sabathia had for dinner tonight.) He defies everything we think we know about pitch counts and healthy playing weights. I could see him pitching forever and breaking all of Cy Young's records along the way. He's the only Yankee I've ever liked. I love CC Sabathia.

Despite all of that, I want the Brewers to destroy him. I want them to hit ten homeruns in the first inning and ruin his ERA. I want the cover of New York dailies to read "IS CC DONE?" and "Sa-BAD-ia". I want the press to be like "What happened CC?" and for CC to be like "I don't know. That team is amazing. I can't beat them." I want the Brewers to win and CC to lose in the most humiliating fashion of all time. I want it so bad. Continue reading →


22
Dec 09

YOU ARE A SELLOUT MIKE RIVERA AND I HATE YOU

MIKE RIVERA SELLOUTSometimes I wonder why I even watch this god awful sport. The World Series champion New York Yankees, the richest team in any sport that have a value almost 5x that of the Milwaukee Brewers, have stolen another one from the poor, stupid teams like us. Mike Rivera has signed with the New York Yankees and I think we all know what this one was about. These stupid baseball players, all they care about is money! You know it's not enough to offer a major league job and a nice city to play in, these greedy a-holes want more. MONEY, MONEY, MONEY! Why do I even bother to follow this team? Why do I even write this stupid blog? I mean, it's not like the players care! Nooooooo, they just go to whoever offers them the most money. Mike Rivera doesn't care if I get diagnosed with a life threatening disease and the only thing that can cure me is him re-signing with the Brewers, all he cares about is padding his wallet! NEW YORK NEW YORK! THE CITY THAT NEVER F'N SLEEPS! WHERE MONEY RAINS FROM THE SKY AND YOU CAN TAKE YOUR DRIVER'S TEST IN 400 DIFFERENT LANGUAGES! Man, screw New York. Seriously, New York you can f right off.

It's just sad, you know, that a small market team like the Brewers can't compete dollar for dollar with a team like the Yankees. Kids grow up rooting for their heroes, but as soon as their heroes become free agents they leave the kids behind. (It's just like my parents divorce really.) Whatever. CONGRATULATIONS MIKE RIVERA I hope you are happy to know that you have ruined my Christmas with your evil, greedy ways. The Mike Rivera jersey I got from Santa is now kindling in my fire! Thanks for nothing, JERK!

EDIT: It appears that Mike Rivera was actually non-tendered by the Brewers who didn't want him back and he signed a minor league deal with the Yankees. So, sorry about that Mike. I take it back.


28
Oct 09

2009 Milwaukee Brewers team awards

weirdotrophyIn case you didn't hear the Brewers recently announced their team awards and the results weren't that surprising. From the JSONLINE:

First baseman Prince Fielder and right-hander Yovani Gallardo were named the Milwaukee Brewers' most valuable player and most valuable pitcher, respectively, for 2009 in balloting conducted by the Milwaukee chapter of the Baseball Writers Association of America.

Other award winners were closer Trevor Hoffman as top newcomer, reliever Todd Coffey as unsung hero and veteran infielder Craig Counsell as recipient of the "Good Guy" award.

(Quick tangent: The Milwaukee chapter of the BBWAA? We have ONE daily newspaper here, how many people can be in it? Seriously, is this just Tony W, Tom H and Mike Hunt voting? Is this a joke? I mean, it's not like they allow broadcasters in here and Uecker got a vote. Who are the people voting on this? I can't find one of them on the BBWAA Wikipedia page. It has to just be the guys at the Journal Sentinel, there is nobody else. So why not just say that?)

Anyways, since this is America and it's full of PC crap where everyone gets a trophy and little league games end in a tie these weren't the only awards handed out. In fact, everyone gets an award! Why let anyone feel left out? These are millionaire baseball players that get tons of adulation and hook up with different women every night, we don't want to hurt their feelings! We need to coddle them and what better way to coddle them than by awarding them for things? Seriously, I want an answer.

Luckily, I have sources and they were able to get me the complete list of Brewers awards handed out to the players and I now present them here for you. Continue reading →

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