I love baseball, but I hate spring training.
To a lot of people baseball begins when the pitchers and catchers report to spring training. Some people even make the pilgrimage down to Arizona to watch the games. Other people like to post play-by-play of every spring training "game" on t
witter like it's game six of the World Series. I am not one of these people. (Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging these people. Baseball season doesn't start for me until after Wrestlemania so who the hell am I to talk?)
The thing about spring training is that it's not really baseball. In baseball there are two teams that want to win that each make strategic moves in an attempt to make that goal a reality. In spring training there are a few guys who want to do good because this might be their only chance to impress, a few guys who waited to long to get into shape, a few guys who want to get laid by some MILFs in the stands and the rest of the team just wants it to be over with already. And you know those guys that you want to see? The stars? The good players? They are in the last two categories, not the first two. I love the Milwaukee Brewers, but watching them play spring training is the absolute worst. I'd rather watch a Batman themed gay porn with Alfred and Robin doing bondage.
(I am going to get so many weird Google search hits from that line.)
However, from spending many of my summer days at Miller Park I have noticed that not all girls share this thought. Some girls have absolutely no clue what they are doing while others were clearly dropped on their head as a baby, but don't worry it's going to be okay. I’m here to calm your fashion nerves so you are ready for the 2012 baseball season.
It's that time of year again, St. Patrick's Day. Along with Cinco De Mayo and someone else's birthday, it's one of the world's greatest excuses to get drunk for no real reason. Many children have been sired on this day and many people have gotten their first taste of the long arm of the law during a St. Patty's Day celebration. It's a shame really that some people have to ruin a perfectly good drinking day by getting into some sort of trouble. Luckily, your past problems will remain there because from today and on into the future you will have this guide to get you through. You are welcome.