Can you believe it? Only thirty days until what will arguably be the greatest fringe baseball blog Brewers tailgate party of the year. Are you excited? Have you booked your ticket yet? Well, you should. Why? Here's five more reasons:
Food, glorious food: More on this next week, but you will not believe the spread that we have planned for this event. Beer, glorious beer: Beer tastes really good when you drink it and it's nice out. (Dear God, please let it be nice out.) Drunk people, glorious drunk people: Fact: Drunk people are more likely to put out for complete strangers that they meet at fringe baseball blog Brewers tailgate parties than sober people are. It's true. You can look it up in the dictionary. Playoffs: If the Brewers win every game between now and 8/28 they will clinch the division on 8/29. (Note: math may be fuzzy.) Hot lesbian action: If two girls don't make out at this function we have failed as a society.
Did I mention beer and food?
Miller Park Drunk's Pants Party is 8/29 and will take place at Miller Park. A pre-game (and likely post-game if there is beer left, which there should be) tailgate including beer, tons of food and more is included. It's twenty-five bucks for like a $40 value. Seriously, it's going to be awesome. Don't miss it.
Outside of my man-crush Mike Cameron hitting two home runs and my buddy Jeff snagging a Prince foul ball that nearly broke his hand, I don't really have much to say about yesterday's game. It was not that good of a game and there were WAY too many Cubs fans. (I guess stubhub having Loge Infield for $9, Bleachers for $1 and Terrace Reserved for $0.50 is too much for some Brewers fans.)
Whatever, I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about beer, man. I love beer. It's so good and cold and makes you feel funny. It makes girls prettier and people think I'm funnier when I drink it. It makes $70 purchases at the team shop seem okay. I'm convinced that Ken Macha is drinking beer most of the time because I think using Corey Patterson in any situation would seem like a good idea if you were drinking beer. Beer is so cool.
The thing is I go to enough games that I know the best way to drink beer. The best places to get it and everything else. Here's a little guide about it.