I've been struggling to think of things to write about the Brewers lately. At one point I wanted to write a post about how Jim Henderson is the GREATEST CLOSER IN BREWERS HISTORY, but I obviously missed that bandwagon. 
Who would've thought that Honey Boo Boo's 15 minutes of fame would last longer than Jim Henderson's 15 minutes of being a good reliever? (Don't answer that. Sports betting sites wouldn't even take that action.) I'll probably write something about how awesome Aramis Ramirez has been or how the offense has been exactly what we dreamed it would be, but I can write those things anytime. Watching the Brewers lose in walk off fashion night after night just sucks the motivation to write Brewers things out of me so I'm just not going to do it. Let's talk about something else. Let's talk about these three things instead. Continue reading
Tag Archives: bench
10 Best Brewers of the Decade
I like to read hastily put together lists that make people angry. Just today I read a list of the best 10 TV shows of the decade that somehow included Modern Family despite it only having aired like six episodes. What a joke, right? Always in search of links and angry comments I decided today would be a good day to put together my own hastily top ten list. Enjoy. Continue reading
Why Felipe Lopez won’t be back
Admittedly I am the internet's biggest Rickie Weeks fan (check out this post that looked so awesome on Opening Day) so perhaps I am a bit biased, but I don't think Felipe Lopez will be back next season and I don't even think there is a chance. Why do I think this? It's simple. This quote from Doug Melvin:
"We view Rickie as our second baseman at this point."
Or in other words, Felipe Lopez won't be back.
Now, make no mistake about it the Brewers WILL offer him arbitration. I think that could be part of the reason they traded for him in the first place. (Last season when the Brewers traded for CC Sabathia they had a plan. Make the playoffs and then replace the farm system they lost through picks from Sabathia and Sheets signing elsewhere. Only one of those two things happened and the system wasn't as deep as it might have been therefore they weren't as free to make a move this season. That's just a theory of mine though.) The fact is he's a Boras client coming off a great season and Boras thinks he can get more than a one year deal in the open market, but for a second let's just say he accepts arbitration. Could he be back? Continue reading
Doug Melvin strikes down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger
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I know [Melvin] is trying to make our ballclub better. I know he recognizes the importance of making a move and making it soon. But at the same time, I think everybody's recognized there's a lot of teams that are still in th-- |
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/shoots Chorizo |
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/dies |
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Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break your concentration? I didn't mean to do that, eh. Please, continue. You were sayin' something about how you think I should do my job eh? |
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[silence] |
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What's the matter? Oh, y-you were finished eh? Oh, well allow me to retort!
What does Bernie Brewer look like? |
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What? |
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/flips over bench
What country you from? |
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What? |
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"What" ain't no country I ever heard of, eh! And I would know aboot a country called "What", eh. They speak English in "What"?! |
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What? |
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ENGLISH RYAN BRAUN DO YOU SPEAK IT EH? |
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YES |
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Then you know what I'm saying? Describe what Bernie Brewer LOOKS like, eh! |
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What? |
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/points mustache at Braun
Say what again. I dare you, I double dare you motherf@%&r say what one more goddamn time, eh! |
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He-he-he's white. |
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Go on, eh. |
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He has a big yellow mustache. |
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Does he bring joy to children? |
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What!? |
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/slaps Braun with mustache
DOES HE BRING JOY TO KIDS, EH!? |
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YES!! |
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Then why you trying to f@%& that up? Why you trying to demoralize the people in the organization at a time when we should be pulling together. It puts a bad taste in our mouths. |
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I didn't! |
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Yes you did. Yes. You. Did, Ryan. You tried to demoralize people in the organization and Bernie Brewer don't like to be f'd by anybody except Mrs. Brewer.
Do you read the Journal Sentinel Ryan? |
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Yes. |
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God, why? The Bible is so much better. There's this passage I've got memorized, sorta fits the occassion. |
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Ezekiel 25:17? |
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No, that's not even a real passage, eh. It's Deuteronomy 21:18-21. |
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"Suppose a man has a stubborn, rebellious son who will not obey his father or mother, even though they discipline him. In such cases, the father and mother must take the son before the leaders of the town. They must declare: 'This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious and refuses to obey. He is a worthless drunkard.' Then all the men of the town must stone him to death." Eh. |
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/ponders
That's kind of insane. I think I know what I have to do. |
Ryan Braun enters the locker room carrying a large box. |
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/throws Remetee shirts in the air
Free shirts for everybody! Even you Mike Burns and Seth McClung! |
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Sigh, eh.
/walks the Earth like Caine |
Years later. |
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/dies of autoerotic fatality |