22
Apr 11

Local blogger mad that Ryan Braun will be a Milwaukee Brewer longer than his site will exist

LAKE GENEVA, WI -- On top of finding out last month's advertising revenue was "less than twelve bucks" area blogger Vince Morales was disappointed to hear that Ryan Braun had recently signed an extension to keep himself with the Brewers until 2020.

"He hasn't left his room in the basement all day. I don't think I've seen him this upset since Charmed got canceled," said his mother as she cut the crusts off of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. She added "Hopefully this cheers him up. It's his favorite."

While he insists that he's happy for the Brewers superstar and his favorite team for locking him up to the extension, it's hard not to notice his frustration with the matter. "I'm happy for them really, but it just sucks you know?" Morales told reporters. "I've been doing this blog for over two years now. Where's my extension? Where's my job offer? I mean, how many photoshops do I have to do before With Leather notices me? I could put Lobster Dog in a picture of Ryan Braun! I could do it right now!"

Despite his anger Vince, who conceded that he doesn't actually blog drunk, said he wasn't ready to call it quits just yet.

"Of course I'm not going to do it today, but nine years is a long time man." The unemployed blogger said."I don't know if people will still think making fun of Remetee is funny in 2020. I mean, we'll probably have hoverboards by then."

After finishing the sandwich his mom made him and a large glass of chocolate milk Morales was a bit more introspective on the matter.

"I guess I'm just upset because more people don't notice my blog. I spend like twenty, thirty minutes a week on the site and I only get like one friend request per week on facebook. It's like nobody cares, but I know the site is funny because my mom always laughs at it. It's just tough. People don't know how hard bloggers got it, but it's tough man. You can print that."

Despite his regrets Morales continues to blog and promises to keep updating his site at least three to four times per month for the rest of the year. When it comes down to it he says it's not like he has anything better to do.

"Hey, check out this photoshop I just finished." Morales added.


30
Dec 09

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Continue reading →


20
Oct 09

Witrado’s Quest: The Final Act

The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. In part two convinced that they were the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who liked him at Miller Park only to be met with more failure and a cross-dressing Doug Melvin. In part three Anthony blamed the state of Wisconsin instead of his own shortcomings and headed back to his home in California where his favorite team was playing a meaningful game, but he found that Hollywood celebrities and the Dodgers did not like him either. With nowhere to go he returned to Wisconsin looking for answers. Continue reading →


19
Oct 09

Witrado’s Quest 3

The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.

In part one Anthony learned that his fellow writers at the Journal Sentinel were not fans of his. In part two convinced that they were the only ones, Anthony set off to find someone who liked him at Miller Park only to be met with more failure and a cross-dressing Doug Melvin. Blaming the state of Wisconsin instead of his own shortcomings, Anthony headed back to his home in California where his favorite team was playing a meaningful game. Continue reading →


29
Sep 09

Miller Park Drunk Grill Walk 2009

Once a website or a person gets a certain amount of success and influence in the world, they tend to want to give back to the community (unless they're a real asshole). You see this all over the place. Actors, musicians, bloggers, all doing stuff for free and the proceeds going to a worthy cause. I think that I've reached the point in my career where it's my turn to give back to the community, but what should I give back to? Cancer? Been done. AIDs? Done. Homelessness? No thanks.

You see when I give back, I want it to be something that really matters to me. Something near and dear to my heart. Something like... tailgating, but how do I give back to tailgating? Well, let's have my dear friend from Wisconsin Sports Tap explain. Continue reading →