Tag Archives: blogger

You’re sick of me? No, I’m sick of YOU!

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So you say that you are sick of me? Well, I am sick of you too! You say that you want this "stunt" to be over? Well, I want your stunt to be over!

Look dudes I got better things to do than sit around on my computer and clickity-clack on the keyboard about baseball all day. I could go out and, you know, SLEEP WITH WOMEN. I am not a nerd blogger like you guys living in your moms basement. I like to go out and drink and sleep with chicks and update my fantasy team. I like to drive my BMW with the top down listening to Soulja Boy as loud as it goes. I could be shopping at American Eagle right now instead of writing on this stupid blog. I could be drinking a dub rum d (double rum and diet to the uninitiated) at a strip club getting a lap dance right now. Instead I am writing on the internet about baseball? No thanks. Baseball is dumb anyways. I prefer football. Not only that, but I have the best fantasy team ever this year. Check out my roster. Continue reading »

Hey everybody let’s go home!

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trevor hoffman brewersI was at the game on Wednesday and it was a good time. Yes, the Brewers lost. I know because I was there and I stayed for the whole thing. It wasn't a bad loss though. The team fought til the end and had a runner on third at the end of the ninth that would have tied the game. Cameron did his best to fight off the tough pitches, but he ended up popping out. It happens, it's baseball. The point is that I got to see the entire thing play out. I got to see Hoffman take down his former team easily in the ninth. I got to see Prince get a big hit. I got to see Escobar steal a big base in the ninth. I got to see it all and the reason I got to see it all wasn't because I had good seats or because I am Ryan Braun's favorite blogger. No, I got to see it all because, and you are not going to believe this, I STAYED FOR THE ENTIRE GAME!

I know, crazy right? I bought tickets to a baseball game and I actually stayed for the whole thing and watched it. Not because I am like this crazy obsessed baseball fan who needs a perfect scorecard, but because the team had a good chance to win and I wanted to see them do it! I KNOW!!! RIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Look, it's your money and you can do what you want with it. After a really exciting 7th inning when the team pulled within one I had the good feeling that they were going to be able to comeback and win the game. After the 8th, when the team didn't score I still hadn't given up hope. Apparently everyone else did because a ton of people left after the eighth inning. Why? I have no idea. To me there are only three reasons to leave a game and they are as follows: Continue reading »

Who is Dave Kerwin? Miller Park Drunk investigates

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kendallCurious story out of Pittsburgh yesterday. When Jason Kendall was interviewed post game he called Pirates pitching coach Joe Kerrigan by a different name.

"It was fine until Dave Kerwin," Kendall said, referring to Kerrigan. Kendall continued to call Kerrigan by that incorrect name -- seemingly on purpose -- even after being promptly corrected.

"I can take a lot, but I'm not going to get yelled at," he continued. "Dave Kerwin started yelling at me...."

When asked what he thought made Kerrigan so mad, Kendall responded: "I don't know. Dave Kerwin? I have no idea."

Now, it's clear to me that he is talking about Joe Kerrigan but in an attempt to undermine him is calling him by a different name. People do this all the time. Sometimes when I am mad at my friend Emily I call her "Smemily". If I am upset with my friend Jeff I call him "Jeffrey". Whenever my ex makes me mad I call her something that rhymes with "pilthy chucking door". This makes sense. What doesn't make sense is the name Jason Kendall chose. Continue reading »

We are the freakin’ All Stars

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Cleveland. Monday, June 16 2009.

Willie Randolph The new All-Star votes are in! Hey everybody come check it out!
Prince Fielder Come on coach, we gotta get ready for the game we can't be messing with that stuff.
Ryan Braun Yeah, we've been struggling lately. We need to focus. Miller Park Drunk didn't even feel like updating Monday we've sucked so bad.
Ken Macha Just look at them guys, you know how important this is to him.
Ryan Braun Fine. Bring em over.

/peruses
Prince Fielder /studies
Ryan Braun Who the f@#& is Raul Ibanez?
Prince Fielder THIRD PLACE!?
Ryan Braun I'm losing to a guy who is old enough to have religiously watched the A-Team.
Prince Fielder

THIRD PLACE!?
Ryan Braun I'm losing to a guy who offers his stool to any blogger who talks bad about him.
Prince Fielder

THIRD PLACE!?
Ryan Braun I'm losing to an uglier Tom Morello of Rage Against the Machine.
Prince Fielder

THIRD GDMF PLACE!?!?
Ryan Braun /decides to perform to potential
Willie Randolph I think that went well.
Ken Macha Agreed.
bill castro u guys no nething about pitchering?