04
Sep 09

Ten Links: Corey Patterson

corey pattersonIn honor of the newest Brewer Corey Patterson I present to you TEN LINKS.

  1. "Is Dusty Baker sleeping with Corey Patterson?": Yahoo! Answers investigates.
  2. Corey Patterson montage: A fan video set to Survivor.
  3. Someone actually has to tell Dusty Baker that Corey Patterson sucks: Anytime you can talk bad about Baker and Patterson in the same article, Cubs fans will read it.
  4. Corey "tarded" Patterson
  5. Corey hasn't learned a damn thing: desipio, a sports blog pioneer.
  6. Corey Patterson has a new nickname: Orioles fans love him too.
  7. Corey story: Moral of the story? Don't let Corey dress himself.
  8. Walk Off Walk's Patterson t-shirt
  9. Bleacher bums tell Patterson how they feel: Or maybe just one guy.
  10. Corey Patterson's Baseball Reference Page: Perhaps the funniest of all. -30 OPS+ this season, is that even possible?

01
Sep 09

Meet Alcides Escobar ladies

Sometimes I forget that I may have more female readers than I have male readers and that talking negatively about JJ Hardy is probably not the best course of action. The problem is the JJ days are probably over. The Alcides Escobar era is here and there's nothing we can do about it. I want the ladies to love Alcides, but the fact is that he is nowhere near as good looking as JJ Hardy. A friend of mine tells me that he enjoys vodka/cranberry and Michael Jackson, but that's just not enough to make this happen. We need more.

Luckily for Alcides he has me on his side. Here's 10 things that Alcides Escobar can do (scratch that, WILL DO) to make the ladies love him like they love JJ. When we're done with him he's going to make JJ Hardy look like Jonathan Knight (to his Donnie Wahlberg (or Joey McIntyre depending on your preference)) and no one will care when he comes out of the closet.

Continue reading →


01
Sep 09

Why am I supposed to feel sorry for JJ Hardy again?

JJ Hardy Flow ChartHey, what's up gang? I'm back, I survived the swine flu. (Well, not really but it sounds better to explain the absence.) Did I miss anything? No? Not really? No trades? No 5,000 Jeff Suppan heads on the field on Sunday? Anyways, it's good to be back. You know who else thinks it's good to be back? JJ Hardy.

That's right, he's back! Today against the Cardinals, JJ Hardy will be on the roster. The only thing is he falls one day short of some MLB rule that makes no sense so he remains under Brewers control until after 2011, instead of after 2010. Reading the baseball blogs around the internet people have been calling the Brewers unethical to do this or just plain wrong. Why? Because delaying his free agency like this costs him money. To which I say, who gives a shit? Continue reading →


21
Aug 09

Keep watching, the best part hasn’t even happened yet

Drunk Brewers fanIt seems that the bandwagon is emptying at an alarming rate. I try to keep positive because, well for one it's not very smart for me to say "stop caring about baseball, the Brewers season is over! Go find another blog!" and two, it's still baseball. Crazy things happen all the time. You just never know. Of course with every loss to the Pirates, you kind of DO know.

A recent poll on Brew Crew Ball has 1% of Brewers fans saying they won't give up on the season until it's over with 83% having already given up. 83%!!!! I'm not exactly sure what this means though. If you are among the 83%, do you still care about what happens? Or have you mentally checked out? Have you moved on to football season? If this is the case, I ask you to reconsider. This Brewers season is not the one we wanted, but it's still the Brewers season. It's kind of like a bad porno. Sure, the girls aren't as hot as you expected and they're all tatt'ed up like Josh Hamilton. Sure, there is too much closeup. Sure, the plot sucks and the music is terrible. The fact of the matter is it's still a porno, it's still people having sex. Despite it's problems there are a number of good reasons to continue watching the Brewers. Just like you keep watching the porno for the T&A, you should keep watching the Brewers for these reasons (and just like in porno not one of them is a "sausage race".) Continue reading →


06
Aug 09

Dear Journal Sentinel Anthony Witrado is a douchebag and you should probably fire him

Hey. Journal Sentinel, what's up? It's your boy, Miller Park Drunk. How's it going? Yeah, that whole death of print thing really sucks. Oh, that's funny!

Listen, let's get down to business here. I am here to talk serious business. I am here to talk about the sports section of your paper. You have this guy writing for the Brewers who is absolutely terrible. I am not kidding. He sucks. He blows. He is quite possibly the worst beat writer in the entire MLB. Did you know there are teams in Baltimore and Oakland? There is! And these teams that are located in WAR ZONES have better beat writers than Anthony Witrado. There's something wrong with this picture right? I know we've been through this before. I know that we (and everyone else that cares about the Brewers) have said this before, but this time it's serious. Anthony Witrado should be fired. Continue reading →

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