12
Aug 10

What’s So Great About the First Inning?

I want you to come to my party. I really do. We have a great menu, there is going to be beer and there are going to be lots of fun and interesting people for you to talk to. One of these people is my good friend Lar from the incomparable wezen-ball. He is going to the party and he wants you to too. He was even nice enough to write this post for us, convincing you to go. He's really smart. You should listen to him.

I don’t know about you, but I’m one of those baseball fans who just has to be in my seat at first pitch. Even when I’m tailgating, if I have any control of when the group gets into the ballpark, I do everything I can to get everyone moving towards the stadium well before first pitch. If that means cooling the charcoal down at 12:30 and throwing the folding chairs in the trunk at 12:45, it’s what I’m going to do. There’s just a simple joy in being comfortably in your seat by the time the Brewers run onto the field. It beats racing up the ramp or impatiently riding the escalator to your seat any day of the week. I’m sure the fact that I like to keep score for all nine innings - and that I never leave a game early, for fear of missing out on the greatest comeback of all time - plays an important part in all that.

But the Pants Party is coming up in two weeks, and with all the excellent food that is being offered and the promise of fascinating, intelligent company - or, at the least, a group of people who like to drink, eat brats, watch Brewers baseball, and complain about Anthony Witrado - that first inning fetish is going to be tested. What happens if I’m on my third chorizo quesadilla with a side of drunken Polish mac’n’cheese and a cup of Riverwest Stein in my hand while chatting and I realize that the game is about to start? Or, even worse, I hear the fireworks going off signalling the start of the bottom of the first? Do I freak out, throw my brat and beer down on the ground and hightail it across the bridge over to Miller Park? Or do I instead try to practice the Midwestern version of zen baseball and just let it slide?

In order to help me ignore choice 1 and instead focus on choice B, I offer this list of why the first inning sucks and why we should all be okay with missing it. After all, if I’m missing that first inning, there’s no way you’re going to be able to tear yourself away from my fascinating conversation and hightail it over there yourself: Continue reading →


05
Aug 10

MPD Field Trip: The conversations at a baseball game suck

When you go to a baseball game the odds are you are going to have a conversation and unfortunately, due to the nature of baseball and it's natural boring-exciting-boring flow, the conversation will not always be about the game on the field. Sometimes you will talk about the team and the GM and whether or not the manager should be fired. Sometimes you will talk about your relationships and your kids and the future. Sometimes you will talk bad about your friends who aren't there because you know it's really fun to do. You will talk about many things and just so you know if you are sitting in the vicinity of me I will eavesdrop on you. Part of this is because I like to try to enjoy the game and will be silent at certain points, believe it or not often times your conversations will come at times when you should probably be paying attention, and part of this is because I am a keen observer of the human condition. I'm a writer, you know. (*dismissive wank*)

When I went to Wrigley Field for two of the Brewers games there this week I ended up doing this quite a bit. I found out, to my extreme delight, that my lady friend shares the same hobby and will laugh at the stupid things that people say. (And then get entirely too angry about the stupid things that people say.) For instance, there is this Miller Lite sign in right field on one of the rooftops. Last season it read "We prefer a pennant race to a sausage race" and now that the Cubs are terrible again it reads "The brat stops here." I, of course, complained about this. It doesn't make any sense. I mean, the Brewers play at Miller Park. MillerCoors shouldn't be making fun of a team that they sponsor a stadium for. Do they think that Brewers fans are never going to see it? Why can't they make fun of the Cardinals? It's a joke. Anyways, at the game there are these doucheholes sitting behind us who are just saying stupid thing after stupid thing. We laugh at them, then we laugh again and then we think about leaving early just to get away from them. It's just too much, these guys are world class douchebags. Then one of them, to my horror, notices the same sign and starts to say many of the same thing as I did. It's weird how my own thoughts are echoed through this idiot's mouth and I start to think way too much about it. Am I this big of a douche too? Does she just figure that out? Am I getting left here? I didn't even get to do the weird stuff! And just as I'm about to begin defending myself in a desperate attempt to save myself, they do it for me.

"It's weird, you know, because the Brewers are owned by Miller. That's why they're called the Brewers because Miller owns them."
"I don't give a fuck about the Brewers, dog."

And they're called the Cubs because Wrigley chewing gum owns them. Of course. Continue reading →


29
Sep 09

Miller Park Drunk Grill Walk 2009

Once a website or a person gets a certain amount of success and influence in the world, they tend to want to give back to the community (unless they're a real asshole). You see this all over the place. Actors, musicians, bloggers, all doing stuff for free and the proceeds going to a worthy cause. I think that I've reached the point in my career where it's my turn to give back to the community, but what should I give back to? Cancer? Been done. AIDs? Done. Homelessness? No thanks.

You see when I give back, I want it to be something that really matters to me. Something near and dear to my heart. Something like... tailgating, but how do I give back to tailgating? Well, let's have my dear friend from Wisconsin Sports Tap explain. Continue reading →


24
Jul 09

Miller Park Drunk E-Mail Show with Right Field Bleachers, Part 2

beermilwaukeeshirtPart one was a bit more by the book and with part two we had a bit more fun. If you aren't already doing so check out Right Field Bleachers, it's a lot like this site only with more writers, more photshopping and less pretend conversations. Good stuff.

MPD: Congratulations on making me gag myself. Once with the clam chowder analogy and a second time at the thought of Vicente Padilla in a Brewers uniform (hang on.... yep, this one just made me gag a third time). I think we're all at the point now where we are getting antsy for the Brewers to do something. Earlier in the season Melvin was quote as saying he wasn't sure if he needed a bat or a pitcher and I think it has become painfully clear to anyone with even the slightest of baseball knowledge (Tom Haudricourt comes to mind) what the team needs. We're well past the point of wondering if this team will make a move and now we are forced to sit and wait for it to happen. We've actually been (seemingly) waiting so long that it's gotten to the point where people are wondering if they might actually need two starting pitchers. I'm all about waiting for the right deal/player/trade, but come on already. People are dying out there!

You mentioned that you wouldn't mind seeing Corey Hart leaving in a trade and my kneejerk reaction is to say "well, who would replace him?" (Catalanatto is probably a better hitter, but a HUGE defensive dropoff. Gerut is the opposite.) At the same time the two easiest positions to fill on the field are first base and corner outfield. There are lots of bats out there that could step in and do close to what he's doing so I could almost see it. Almost. I'm just not convinced the team is ready to give up on him yet (which is weird considering all the grief he gave them in arbitration.) Does his popularity have anything to do with it? I don't know, but the more I think about Corey Hart, the more he reminds me of Jeff Francouer of the Braves. No great batting eye to speak of. Power to spare. Perpetually underachieving. Short flashes of brilliance. Ends up league average or worse. Hart is older, but he's like Francouer in that he was a lot better two years ago. Hart's improved his walk rate quite a bit this year (which could easily come back to Earth), but so did his strikeout rate went up too and it's come at the cost of some power (which could easily not come back to Earth). I am not sure if he's ever going to be much better than he was in 2007 and considering his first half of 2008 was likely a serious outlier, maybe dangling him out there is the right move. If the team can get some value for him now, why not? Sure, a few thousand female fans would be upset but they had to have figured out he wasn't really attractive at some point right? I don't know if Corey Hart gets you Ian Snell of the Pirates or Erik Bedard of the Mariners. I really just don't know, but I'd like to see Doug try and figure that out. I suspect even the Moustache hates hearing that at-bat music three times a game.

Forget Hart for a second though, let's talk about another can't miss Brewer: Mat Gamel. He only spells his name with one T so you know he's bad ass. I understand (and love) that Casey McGehee has been playing out of his mind for the past month, but can this dude get more than one start in a week? He's shown flashes and in my arm-chair-scout-who-has-no-idea-what-he's-talking-about opinion his at-bats have improved since he first came up quite a bit. He deserves an honest shot out there before they switch McGehee into virtually full time 3B mode. Give him two weeks of starts, then we'll talk. It's all I ask really because I think Gamel could be one of the next great Brewers and he should be out there playing. Or if the team sends him down, it should be to practice right field in preparation for him finishing the season there. Where do you stand on the send him down/keep him up argument and where do you see him going in the future as a Brewer? Continue reading →


19
Jun 09

Thanks a lot Ryan Braun, now I’ll never get laid

Ryan Braun and his ex-girlfriend

Great. This is just what I fucking needed. The same fucking day that I FINALLY work up the courage up to ask this cute temp Lauren out on a date and get fucking DENIED because she's "just coming out of serious relationship and needs some me time" whatever the FUCK that means, Ryan Braun decides to break up with his girlfriend and announce it on Kiss fucking FM. Fuck you Ryan Braun. Why didn't you just come to my work during lunch break and do it?

Are you fucking kidding me? You think that just because you're some good looking baseball player with his own clothing line that you can just hog all the hot chicks in Milwaukee? Is that what you fucking think? Because I have something to tell you, SOME girls aren't into all that. SOME girls aren't into your stupid fucking t-shirts. SOME girls aren't into your tongue wagging and showboating. SOME girls like guys like me, guys they can talk to about their feelings who won't try things on the first date. SOME girls want a guy who they can tailgate with who out drinks all his friends, not some asshole who is friends with A-Rod. Why don't you fucking call back the Bachelor or something? Why do you have to steal all the girls from regular guys like me? Guys like me who pay your fucking salary asshole!

I mean, Jesus fucking Christ, this has been like the worst week ever. The thing with Lauren was one thing, but then I asked for this other girl's phone number who I met at a Brewers game and she had a fucking boyfriend. If you had a fucking boyfriend why were you flirting with me the whole fucking game? I would have had like six more beers and three more brats plus some cheese fries if I knew you had a fucking boyfriend! For fucks sake. I guess I just don't fucking get why this keeps happening to me. No matter what I do I can't seem to get laid. I mean, I'm a nice guy! I'm sensitive! I'll watch Grey's Anatomy with you and I own like every Jason Mraz CD! The other day I bought She's Just Not That Into You On-Demand just so I had something to talk to Lauren about at work. We see how fucking good that worked out. I just want someone to talk to! Someone to fucking care about! It's not enough that I have to compete with all these assholes who work out and have a drivers license, I also have to compete with Ryan fucking Braun? Fan-fucking-tastic. Why don't you just kick my dog while you're at it? Thanks a lot Ryan Braun, now I'll never get laid. Asshole.

[RightFieldBleachers]