12
May 10

Hey everybody, we’re all getting laid Tuesday May 25th!

Do you like the Brewers?

Do you like getting laid?

Are you single (or will you pretend to be)?

Do you have $40?

Well, have I got the deal for you! Check out what I just found this on the Brewers official website:

For only $40, get a Dew Deck ticket, which includes a pre-game buffet and two drinks per person, plus the opportunity to mix and mingle with Milwaukee-area singles!

    DEW DECK BUFFET MENU FEATURES:
  • Grilled Bratwurst with Sauerkraut
  • Hot Dogs
  • Chicken Breast Sandwiches
  • Hamburgers
  • Lettuce, Tomato, and Pickle Platters
  • Pasta Salad
  • Assorted Cookies
  • Soft drinks
  • Two beers per adult

Would it be wrong to buy all the available tickets and put them on stubhub for 5x face value? The Brewers are basically guaranteeing that you get laid here! $40 makes me feel like I'm practically stealing from them. You can't even get a hooker in Costa Rica for that price.

Look we all know that the key to a woman's heart isn't actually a key, but more like a math equation. That equation? Continue reading →


11
Feb 09

Eat for the cycle

Have you ever ate for the cycle? Have you even ever heard of eating for the cycle? If you haven't done it or haven't even heard of it, I don't even know what to say to you. I mean, really? You call yourself a Brewers fan and don't even know what eating for the cycle is? Are you kidding me?

Ahem. For the uninitiated I offer a brief FAQ.

Continue reading →

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