18
Feb 10

RANDOM BREWER THOUGHTS

As we head into spring training I have a few random things I'd like to get off my chest. Nothing that really requires an entire post, but some thoughts I wanted to get out there nonetheless. This is the worst time to follow baseball. That's all I really have to say about it because this guy sort of nailed it already. And since I have nothing else to write in this intro.. Here. We. Go. Continue reading →


15
Jan 10

Casual Brewer: Ryan Braun

I like pictures of the Brewers outside of their uniforms. Casual Brewers if you will. Feel free to create a caption.

ryanbrauncasual

Clearly, there is a God. This picture exists.

And since we're here I wanted to tell you this too.

Let's face it folks, Ryan Braun has become a clubhouse problem child.  We all know what he did last year, calling out players all while hot dogging it out on the field and embarassing the franchise in general.

After watching Ryan CHARGE the Dodgers clubhouse last year after a game, I knew it was time to trade this guy.

I'd be happy with getting a 2010 1st round draft pick, and a few mid-level minor league prospect for Braun.

What are the chances of finding a team that is willing to take this malcontent of our hands?

I've had it up to here with his poor attitude and sloppy play.

Oh ESPN Brewers message board, you complete me.

That's all for this week. We really enjoyed telling you about our gay Brewers fantasies. The ensuing comments, not so much. We'll be back Monday with some actual content. Most likely.


12
Jan 10

Gender roles in modern society (the one where we talk about banging a Brewer)

I have a question for the male readers of the site. Have you ever been pondering the offseason moves of the Brewers and thought to yourself "I am glad they re-signed Craig Counsell, he's kinda hot"? I mean, everyone has had that conversation with a friend that starts like "I know you're not gay, but..." and you immediately yell out "DONNIE FROM NEW KIDS!", right? And then after having that conversation you continue on to "Okay I know you are totally straight and stuff, but which Brewers player would you have sex with if you had to?" No? You've never had that conversation with one of your buddies? Not even once? Really? Well, I guess I'll just have to tell you about it then because Tyler and I have had that conversation many, many times and we'd like to share one with you. Why? Because we are so totally okay with our sexuality that we don't care who reads it! We don't care if the guys we are writing about making sweet love to us read it, we want them to! So, like, forward this to them. Please.

Vince: Hey Tyler, I've got a question for you that's been bothering me for awhile and I want your opinion on it. If you had to have sex with a member of the Milwaukee Brewers, who would it be? Continue reading →


30
Dec 09

Best of Miller Park Drunk 2009

LOLBREWERS: Rickie WeeksHey, it's time for one of those year end clip shows that you love so much. You know like that time on Full House when we saw how much we truly loved and appreciated Uncle Jesse after seeing those old clips. There was no need for him to move out of the house with his family, he could just live in the attic!

Miller Park Drunk has only been open a year, but we've published over 300 posts in that time period. Call this the best of 2009, call it The Beginner's Guide to Miller Park Drunk, call it whatever you'd like, here it is.

BEST OF THE BEST

Don't You Forget About the Brewers: John Hughes, director of such classics as The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink, died this year and the Brewers paid him a tribute.

LOLBREWERS: Can't decide which one was my favorite, either Yovanni's Big Day or First Place Edition.

The Happy Youngster is a douchebag who makes us all look bad: This post really put us on the map with links from Deadspin and other major blogs. It also inspired this idiot to call us "a blogger who gives drunks a bad name", sold a few t-shirts and was semi-popular on tumblr. Not my favorite, but definitely worth mentioning.

Brewers Flow Charts: I have no idea where this idea came from, but it's definitely one of my favorite of all time.

Witrado's Quest: One of the weirder endeavors we have ever done did a fine job of getting the Witrado hatred out of our system. Not that we like him now just that it doesn't bother us as much anymore.

THE RUNNING SERIES: I loved this if only because Brew Crew Ball to write:

"I'll link to the Ken Macha and Corey Hart chapters here...the other two are a little too obscene to even be linked from this site."

AND

"If you have a vague interest in Brewer baseball, but wish there was less analysis and more profanity on this site, then Miller Park Drunk's RUNNING series might be just the ticket for you." Continue reading →


29
Dec 09

D10: Ten Brewers I would most like to drink with

drunkdudeLists are for lazy people. Since I am lazy, do top ten lists all the time and only occasionally write about the Brewers I thought I would create a new tag for the site called "Drunk 10". Come on, it's fun. Today we cover the Brewers we'd most like to share a drink with judged on talent, general coolness, drinking ability and likelihood to buy drinks. Apologies in advance to Ryan Braun, I still love you.

10. Rickie Weeks

I am probably biased here, but I have heard from people who have seen him out around Milwaukee that he is a really cool guy. Between growing up and Daytona Beach and all the time he spent on the DL you have to think he has beaten up a pretty good drinking resume.

9. Paul Molitor

Really should be higher based on the sheer amount of talent and things to talk about him with, but this quote from his Wikipedia: "He stopped using drugs in 1981, and has since visited schools to lecture about the dangers of drug use" drops him down. Still, even if the Ignitor sipped on a virgin pina colada while you got hammered it would still be awesome. It's Paul Molitor!

8. Jeff Suppan Continue reading →