04
Oct 12

One sixty two and 131

I don't know why exactly, but I liked the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers more than I liked the 2011 Brewers. I can't explain it.

The success of last season probably helped, I believe they could do it more this year because they almost did it last year. They should have done it last year, so they will do it this year. That was the logic at least. I'm sure Ryan Braun's ordeal had something to do with it too. I've always liked Ryan Braun as a baseball player, but the offseason really made me defensive over him as a person. When someone says "u kno braun failed that test cuz he had dat herp rite dude?" it pisses me off. SHUT THE HELL UP, I say. ("but d00d i kno this chick and she like has it too and she boned him" they'll say, but I won't listen because people who know people who openly, almost proudly say that they have STDs and brag about having sex with celebrities are not to be trusted. They are frickin' nutso.) He said he didn't, we should believe him. He said he didn't do anything wrong, we should believe him. He was cleared of the charges, we should drop it. ET CETERA. Plus, the general newness of the roster probably helped a lot too. Everybody likes playing with new toys. Japanese outfielder? I always wanted one of those! Thanks mom!

Whatever the reason I liked this team a lot. A lot, a lot and they repaid me by breaking my heart. Thanks for that one guys. Continue reading →


16
Nov 11

Miller Park Drunk’s Offseason Predictions

One month.

That's how long it's been since the Brewers were eliminated from the NLCS and robbed of their chance of the World Series by Shaun Marcum the Cardinals. A lot has happened since then. The not-Brewers won the World Series. The Packers didn't lose a game. The Badgers lost a couple they shouldn't have, effectively ending their season. The NBA died. Mark Kotsay signed with another team making the Brewers one rapist looking guy short. Eddie Kingston won the Grand Championship and Colt CaBunny was liberated. The Walking Dead's second season began and producers forgot it was a show about zombies. Kim Kardashian got divorced. Zooey Deschanel became single. Justin Bieber came out with a Christmas album. A guy smoked (a cigarette!) in a political ad. It's been a wild ride.

As for me, it's been a pretty wild ride. Faced with breaking up with my girlfriend and never talking to her again followed by my true love breaking my heart by losing in the playoffs to the Cardinals, I guess you could say I had a little mental break. I went on a journey, not like some lame On The Road inspired journey, but a journey of the mind. A spiritual journey, because that is not at all lame, that took me to the very depths of my soul and made me rethink each and every thing I thought I believed in. I now realize many things about myself and life that I didn't realize before. I know now that the world belongs to Ryan Braun and there is nothing we can do about it. I realize that we are all just puppets in a mass system designed to get us to spend money on a baseball team that will never love us back, but this realization will never stop me from continuing to do it. I've come to figure out that life isn't fair and that God, as we picture him, probably doesn't exist because the Cardinals not only beat us, but won the f*ckin' World Series.

/breathes into paper bag

The point is I return from this journey not with any sort of resolved issues, but with a clear vision of the future. I've gained an understanding of Doug Melvin and the Brewers that has never been witnessed before on this spiritual plane and come to you today with revelations of what our future holds in 2012. Our future, as philosophers say, is so bright that you might want to put on sunglasses. Continue reading →