19
Aug 11

Get a life Blue Jays fans

Here is some recent comments we've had coming into the blog on one of our classic posts.

lawrie is goin hit 400 home runs bat 300 and be the hardest working guy on the feild. smd you brewer bitches lawries a great guy, marcums a old fuck face

Fucking retard, look at Brett lawrie now

Still like the trade???? Highest slugging % in MLB HISTORY after 30 at bats…… sorry brew crew but AA bent you over on this one

Looking like Toroto got the better deal now.. EH?

immature, cocky, brash and 21 years old. your posted pics were of all those descriptions alright mb drunk however you missed the key points. hit for avg, hit for power, HIT HIT HIT when it counts. and oh ya, EXCITING to watch. Brewers are all of that arent they? U suck and the Brewers suck.

Grande Slam tonight bitch

First of all, are there not Toronto Blue Jays blogs or something? Someone should start one of those up because apparently they have the internet in Canada now. Second, I realize that Canada is a little bit behind America in, well, everything, but are they just getting my posts from December now? This is OLD news. It's not like we've been sitting here tauning them about the trade the whole time. We knew Brett Lawrie would be good, we thought he might be awesome even, but we made the trade for the right reasons.

With that being said... Continue reading →


31
Dec 10

10 Worst Milwaukee Brewers of 2010

Lost in the shuffle of how awesome 2011 is going to be with the additions of Zack Greinke and Shaun Marcum, was how truly awful 2010 was. Despite our optimism, this team was eliminated by May and had most fans clamoring for a fire sale at the trade deadline. A lot of the reasons for the team's lack of success were stupid ("Ryan Braun is spending too much time on his restaurants and clothing line!"), some of them had basis in reality ("Coffey is eating too much!"), and some of them were just about Ken Macha sucking, but I don't think anyone can deny how much these ten people screwed up the Brewers' 2010 season.

That's right, it's end-of-the-year list time, and instead of looking back on our favorite moments (of which there are two, trading for Shaun Marcum and trading for Zack Greinke), we want to look back on the ten people who screwed the Brewers in 2010 harder than any of the guys your mom brought home. Luckily for us, just like your mom's "night visitors," most of these guys won't be back either. Continue reading →


08
Dec 10

So, who should we embarrass now?

Two days ago we did a post about the Milwaukee Brewers trade of Brett Lawrie for Shaun Marcum and within the post we posted some pictures from Brett Lawrie's facebook that made him look like a douchebag. Since then the post has blown up, yesterday alone saw over 20k hits and we nearly tripled our ad revenue over last month, the site has seen such massive amounts of traffic that the server took the site down for almost two hours last night. The post was mentioned on 620 WTMJ, ESPN radio in Milwaukee by Tom Haudricourt and Trenni Kusnierek, something called Girls of Philly (NSFW), numerous forums, twitter, facebook and even got it's own post at Deadspin. (Deadspin!) It was, by far, the most successful post we've ever done and since that post was so successful we obviously need to find another player to facebook stalk.

When we started doing the blog we didn't expect it to be much. We thought it'd be small, like a Brewers centric Deadspin, getting just a couple hundred hits a week and that sounded good to me. Just a nice little outlet for my Brewers thoughts. Then things got a little bit bigger than we expected and people were telling me that this was one of their favorite blogs so we thought "let's do the Deadspin thing, but mix it with a bit of Milwaukee's Bill Simmons" and we went with that. (It was perfect because we didn't need to update as much. *rimshot* -Ed.) As things went on we threw in little bits of all our favorite blogs; The Dugout, Kissing Suzy Kolber, Warming Glow and I think it's been pretty successful. People still say this is their favorite blog. We threw a party at Miller Park for over 50 people and almost broke even on it. We're almost at 1000 facebook fans. I think it's safe to say that this site's success has exceeded our expectations more than we ever imagined and we couldn't be happier about it.

And then this Brett Lawrie post happened and it threw all of that out of the window. Forget about the Pants Parties, the funny guides to St. Patrick's Day or hangovers (or Thanksgiving), the Bob Uecker tribute, the emotional Father's Day post, the Dugout-esque tribute to John Hughes, the sexual innuendos or even the time I blamed Ryan Braun for ruining my sex life; because that post with the facebook pics more than any of the other posts that I worked on was our biggest hit of all time. Why? Because people love pictures of athletes doing stupid things. I am not condemning this, heck I love it too. I read Terez Owens everyday, I loved watching Dong-gate unfold and even sent my dad a link to it when the story first broke which is kind of weird when I think about it. This stuff cracks me up, but it's only a momentary thing. It's a split second of my day. I much prefer to read Barry Petchesky give Cleveland the business than anything he's ever written about Jenn Sterger, I wish everything I read had ten or more Huey Lewis jokes like this Dugout post and my favorite Will Leitch posts were always about Rick Ankiel. That's my thing, stuff I can quote to my friends (and pass off as my own) or stuff that is just plain fun to read because the person writing it cares about it. Anyone can post a few embarassing pictures of an athlete. Anyone.

I guess what my point is that yesterday's Brett Lawrie post brought us more hits than we've ever had in the past and we don't blame the people that came here to see that for doing it. We do it too, but we hope that isn't the sort of thing that you expect from us because it's not who we are or what we want to be. We want to be better than that even if it means I have to keep living in my parent's basement. If you're reading this we hope it's because you like what we do. We want to make you laugh and care and think, but mostly we just want you to like us. We're shallow like that.

Now, let's find us a Brewer we can embarrass. Continue reading →


06
Dec 10

Brewers get Marcum from Toronto for Brett Lawrie, Lawrie revealed as tool

Before I could finish my "What are they gonna do?" series, the Brewers went ahead and actually did something. Trading their top prospect, Brett Lawrie, to the Toronto Blue Jays for a proven starter in Shaun Marcum. This is a good trade for the Brewers and the trade is universally liked by experts, insiders and fans.

Shaun Marcum was basically the #1 starter for Toronto last season going 13-8 with a 3.64 ERA and, even better, a 3.74 FIP (a pitching statistic that takes defense out of the equation) shows that ERA is close to his true talent level. He's going to fit in nicely behind Gallardo and Wolf can move to a more natural spot behind him. It's going to be awesome. Everything falls into place. Brewers win the pennant.

Can you tell I like this deal? Here's four things you should know to like it too:

  1. Marcum averaged more strikeouts per 9 innings (7.60 to 7.40) and less walks per 9 innings (1.98 to 2.25) than everyone's favorite trade target this winter, Zack Greinke. (h/t Brewers Bar)
  2. Marcum versus non-BOS/TB/NYY: 2.74 ERA, 6.1IP/start, 8.0k/9, 2.0 bb/9, 0.9hr/9, 1.08 WHIP in 21 starts. (h/t Al's)
  3. If you put Marcum on last year's team he would have been the second most valuable pitcher on the team.
  4. Unlike all the people who take less money to sign with perennial contenders or California teams, Marcum is from the Midwest and might be convinced to sign long-term.

And he gives great beard!

Get excited! I have a total Marcumer right now.

As for Brett Lawrie the Brewers are losing their best offensive prospect which sucks, but on the bright side some scouts see him not fitting in the infield and needing a move to the outfield. If they are correct his value is much lower as a corner outfielder as compared to a second baseman. (I don't know, that's just what they tell me.) He should be a good offensive player someday and we'll miss that bat one day. That being said, I couldn't be happier to see him go because Brett Lawrie seems like a douchebag. Continue reading →


27
Mar 09

i think ur stupid neways

cell-phone-textingRecently, I realized that no matter how hard I try I just can't find myself attracted to a girl who doesn't know how to spell or type. She could be the most attractive girl in the world, but with every "neways", misused their/they're/there and bcuz she would lose me. The thing is, I don't know how to talk about this without coming off like a dick. I want these girls to still like me, but I need them to understand that this is no way to be living their life and if they continue to live their life in this way they are going to lose me forever. There needs to be some sort of intervention for this sort of thing, a reachout program. I would go so far as to say it should be added to the ciriculum in schools. If measures aren't taken to prevent this sort of thing, I may never get laid.

Now, what does this have to do with the Brewers? A lot actually, as Brewed Sports points out top Brewers prospect Brett Lawrie has a blog and in his first post he drifts off into "text speak".

The wbc experience was great tho my role was as the bottom guy on the totem pole.

We r in the middle of minor league training camp. Every day is similar. Am playing second, not catching.

In the grand scheme of crappy writing, these are rather low on the radar but left unchecked this could turn into a serious problem. His writing will get worse and worse to the point that he opens up a twitter account.

"2 for 3 vs loons. woot! jus watched carlos mencia live. to hilarious!!!"

I just don't want to see that happen. I know Brett is Canadian, but I still think there is hope for him. So, Brett if you're reading this right now here is what I'm talking aboot. Spell the whole word and remember that the shift key is your friend. I don't know how they do things at Degrassi, but you're in the big leagues now. You should write like a big leaguer. If you can do that, you're set. We love you.

If you can't? I'm sure the Journal Sentinel could use another beat writer.