04
May 09

Enough with the gimmicks people

Let's do things a little differently today. I am going to show you a few pictures and you can decide for yourself how you feel about them. Then when we are done with that, I am going to tell you exactly how I feel about them. Sound good? Good.

banana asshole

gorilla assholes

keg asshole(Thanks to StB08 on Twitter)

bunny asshole

Now, taken one at a time these people could be considered funny, cool or at the very least creative. I give them kudos for their creativity and enthusiasm. However, I seriously doubt their intentions. When you are dressing up like this, you aren't going to the game to watch the team play. You are going to the game to get attention. Of course these people want the Brewers to win the game, but what REALLY makes them happy is for people to give them high-fives and say "Oh man, I love your costume." And you know what? I am not going to do it. I am not going to give them the adulation they so desperately seek. They are attention whores. Plain and simple. The only attention whores I like are the ones who double as regular whores too.

Every single series I go to I end up seeing more and more of these people. They multiply like someone poured water on Gizmo's back. I'm not saying I want to live in a world where these people don't exist. Like my mom used to tell me, every family needs a big, fat, stupid idiot. The thing is there are far too many of these people out there right now and if someone doesn't say something now this may spin out of control. To the point where every game starts to look more like a costume party at Elton John's condo than a baseball game.

So here I am saying it: cut it out. You hear me guys in the gorilla outfits? That can't be comfortable and this isn't a freaking Phoenix Suns game. You hear me banana guy? I honestly don't even understand what you are going for there. You hear me rabbit head? (Actually, you probably don't. That head looks pretty thick.) This is a BASEBALL game, you are here to watch BASEBALL. Save your furry fantasies for the bedroom. I swear to you that you can have fun at this place without dressing like that. SO STOP IT.

(None of the above applies to shave stuff in your chest guy. Don't ever change my friend.)


01
May 09

And the winner is…

I'll tell you what, it's pretty hard to find stuff to write about when the team you write about goes 8-2 in it's last ten games and doesn't show any sign of stopping. (Hangovers also don't help.) Should be a fun weekend of baseball as the team couldn't look better and Miller Park will be close to full all three games. Exciting times. Now I'm no math genius, but I'm pretty sure the Brewers are currently on pace for 87 wins which puts them right in the thick of things come September. It's early and all, but this isn't the drop off people were predicting and there is definitely room to grow (like if Tiger Beat Hardy could remember how to hit.) Anyways, have fun out there this weekend, we'll be back Monday. Go Crew.

Oh, I guess you also want to know who the winner of the contest for the free tickets to the 5/13 game against the Florida Marlins is. Well congratulations go out to Kari O'neil of Wisconsin. As the winner of this contest you win the two tickets and if you would like the free space to complain/whine/brag/celebrate or whatever about anything you'd like right here on the site. As long as it's Brewers related. I don't want to hear about how big of an asshole your ex-boyfriend was (unless, of course, your ex-boyfriend is JJ Hardy in which case I want to sign you to a book deal.) You may also get the pleasure of sharing a drink with me at this game, although that perk is TBA at the moment.

Thanks to everyone who became a fan or follows us on Twitter. We'll keep bringing the fun as long as you keep reading it.


01
May 09

The Chris Farley Show

Today at the official site they are doing a chat with Brewers' pitcher Yovani Gallardo. I can not think of one question that I'd like to ask him. I don't really know why this is. I like the guy, he's a great pitcher and if I ever saw him out I'd try to talk to him and hang out, but in a chat? No thanks.

In the end I don't think I'll even read the transcript. So I don't want to see a Yovani Gallardo chat. What I do want to see is Yovani on The Chris Farley Show. I think that's something I might be interested in. Continue reading →


28
Apr 09

Trevor Time is now Beer:30

Trevor HoffmanTrevor Hoffman made his Milwaukee Brewers debut last night in a non-save situation thanks to a 5 run ninth inning. The debut was long awaited and much needed. When I went to the game on the last home stand there were already t-shirts on sale that said TREVOR TIME on them before he ever appeared in his first game. When you add in his bobblehead day it becomes clear that the Milwaukee brass wants the fans to embrace Trevor Hoffman. And why not? He is the closer with the most amount of saves in history. He deserves to be embraced.

I've had my doubts about Trevor Hoffman if only because I'm a baseball ageist and if Todd Coffey, Mitch Stetter and Mark DiFelice have proven anything this season it's that you don't need to spend millions on the bullpen. However after last night, his first appearance of the season, I think I am changing my stance on Trevor Hoffman. I like this guy. He reminds me of George Burns in 18 Again!.

Let's face it this is a young team and we need someone like him around. We need a guy who can tell the players what is what like in the world before democracy free agency. We need a guy who played through World War II AND the '94 strike. What better way to warn our young players about the swine flu than someone who lived through polio? Veteran leadership cannot be discounted and there is really no better man for the job than Trevor Hoffman* to provide that.

As long as you don't blow a lot of saves, I like you Trevor Hoffman. You're a-okay in my book.

(*=Unless, of course the Brewers sign Julio Franco.)


27
Apr 09

Dear Ken Macha I’ve had enough of your aggression on the basepaths

jason-kendallThe Brewers lost yesterday and despite problems with FSN-WI, I watched just about the whole game with the score at 3-2 Astros. The Brewers seemingly had chances to come back every single inning after falling behind.

Top of the 5th: 2 LOB
Top of the 6th: 1 LOB
Top of the 7th: 3 LOB
Top of the 8th: 0 LOB
Top of the 9th: 1 LOB

The one inning in which they didn't leave any on base ended with Jason Kendall getting caught stealing. Yes, that Jason Kendall. Let me tell you what I know about Jason Kendall.

Jason Kendall specifically selected his at-bat song to scare little kids.

Jason Kendall has 170 steals in his career, but

Speed declines with age and

Jason Kendall turns 35 in two months.

I am not one to pile on Jason Kendall. There are other blogs that do that, this is not one of them. I just don't expect much from the catcher position. He's a perfectly acceptable placeholder until Salome or whoever else is ready to take over. He knows the staff and plays good defense. Maybe Rivera should play a bit more, but overall he's fine. I will say this.

Ken Macha should know that the only way Jason Kendall steals that base is if Jason Kendall is the one trying to throw him out. That was a terrible, ridiculous idea. I understand that you don't like Jason Kendall, that doesn't mean that you can embarass the poor guy on television. Quit tweeting and lock it up.

Thus far this season the Brewers have 7 steals and have been caught 7 times. That is not a recipe for success. Jason Kendall trying to steal bases? RECIPE FOR TOTAL FAILURE.

So here's the new rule. You are not allowed to attempt to steal if you are a 35 year old white catcher or wear the #28. Everyone else? Green light. Consider me your coach of common sense.