The slow news days have begun and due to MLB rules there is only a playoff game once every six days. What do we do? Inspired by our favorite site The Dugout, we've decided to follow our favorite JSOnline writer Anthony Witrado on a quest. A quest to find love, adulation and respect in a cruel world that doesn't understand him or particularly like him. Will he find what he's been seeking? Or will he fail at it, like he's failed at life so many times before? Find out in Witrado's Quest: A Miller Park Drunk Event.
While I am still not 100% committed to throwing in the towel on the 2009 Brewers season the fact remains that in order for the Brewers to make the playoffs this season will require a minor miracle. Not quite a water into wine type miracle, but something along the lines of the Brewers bullpen holding a lead, Jason Kendall getting an extra base hit or an awful writer not losing his job when the newspaper industry is going broke. The mere existence of Anthony Witrado gives our season hope.
Whatever happens this season know that this isn't the first time the Brewers have let fans down after a successful season. In 1982 they made the World Series and on August 25th 1983 they were in first place, but by the end of the season they were 11 games back and in a pre-Wild Card world out of the playoffs (not that they would have made it anyways). So if you are feeling let down by the Brewers now, just imagine what it was like in 1983. You know, besides totally awesome.
Or we could just do the imagining for you. That's right, it's Miller Park Drunk: 1983 Edition.
LOS ANGELES -- The Milwaukee Brewers are glad to finally make it to Los Angeles and face the Dodgers who currently have the best record in all of baseball. The Brewers are 52-53 and four and half games out of the National League Central division race.
"I'm from here and I own a house here so it's always good for me to come back to LA, but I think this time it's good for the rest of the team as well. We're all looking forward to it" said star slugger Ryan Braun.
"The past few weeks have just been impossible. The Reds, then the Pirates, then the Nationals and then we had to come to San Diego for the Padres. It's like 'hello, Bud Selig you're a Brewers fan. Stop stacking the deck against us already'" Manager Ken Macha went on to say "I'm just happy to be here in Los Angeles to play the Dodgers. Have you seen their lineup? Against our pitching? Hopefully this will end our illusions about the playoffs once and for all. I just want to get back to Pennsylvania before the cold sets in."
Currently CoolStandings gives the Brewers a 7.6% chance of making the playoffs and with an easy August schedule followed by 13 games against the two teams currently ahead of them in the standings, many Brewers fans thought they still had a chance this season. Not so says current starter Braden Looper. "It is what it is. Anytime you put someone like me who has given up more home runs than Ryan Braun has hit against the Dodgers, it's not going to end well. I've made peace with this. I've been reading a lot of Joel Osteen books lately."
However, not every Brewer is negative about the teams chances. Non-Pujols MVP Prince Fielder said he likes the teams chances between bites of a Kripy Kreme and Tofu salad, "It's never over til it's over. You always have a chance until you don't. That's when it's over. Hey, can you hand me that stick of butter? Works great as a salad dressing." Legendary closer Trevor Hoffman offered perhaps the brightest outlook, "I was on the Padres last season and we only won 63 games. It doesn't get much worse than that. I'm just happy to be in a somewhat winning situation."
The Brewers and Dodgers kick off their series Monday at 9:10 PM Central.
Well the All Star Game has came and gone. Fielder only got a single at-bat but did get an RBI double, Hoffman pitched well in his appearance, Braun didn't embarrass himself in right field and the National League lost yet again. Oh yeah, and Prince won some sort of batting practice contest. Let's relive the past two days with the magic of LOLBREWERS. Continue reading →
Do you think the Brewers were the first people to untuck their shirts after a victory? It would seem to be so, but actually if you look throughout history there have been many moments where people have untucked their shirts after a victory. Don't believe me? Check this out.
George Washington untucked. Continue reading →