Man, if there is one thing I hate it's those stupid, smelly Pirates! They are the pits! They think they are so cool with their black and yellow jerseys and their winning record and their Indian minor league pitchers. They think their better than us, that's what they think! Hey Pittsburgh, ketchup sucks! Yeah, that's right I said ketchup sucks! Stadium sauce drinks ketchup's milkshake punks! And racing pierogis? HOW ORIGINAL! Seriously though, what the hell is a pierogi? A boiled or baked dumpling of unleavened dough stuffed with varying ingredients? STUPID! That doesn't even sound good! Sausages bang pierogi's girlfriends and never call her again!
Check out this stupid blog I found called "Where Have You Gone Andy Van Slyke?" (he's probably gone to the same place every old Pirate goes, straight to HELL.)
You have probably noticed over the past couple days that I'm not exactly over the moon about the Pirates' play to this point in the season, 7-5 record or not. What would make me extremely happy, however, is a couple wins against the Brewers this week. I know Brewers' fans think it's funny that we Pirate fans get all worked up over these two teams, but I really, really don't like Ryan Braun or Prince Fielder or their stupid untucked shirts and frankly, everyone needs a little bit of a rivalry to get through the season.
"Waaa the Brewers beat us when they play us just like every other team, but they have Ryan Braun and Prince Fielder who have more talent than any single player we've had since Barry Bonds, waaa! Let's romanticize a player who had like five good seasons for us, his joy for the game was infectious! Waaa!" Why don't you guys pull the tampon out of your diaper and shut the hell up? Maybe if your pitching coach Dave Kerwin could teach your guys how to pitch you wouldn't give up eight runs to us. Way to "play up" to your rival, losers.
Pirates? Pssh, more like butt Pirates am I right? EAT IT SUCKERS!