You know what? Screw that dude

Fans April 17th, 2009

Forrest GumpThe more I think about that guy, the more pissed off I am. Like, really pissed off. He's making me, as a Brewers fan, look bad. He's making this site look bad because like it or not this is the home for drunken Brewers fans, even the douche-y ones. (It goes like this: drunk fans/Miller Park Drunk, smart sabermetric inclined fans/Brew Crew Ball, older Republican fans/Al's Ramblings, Mentally challenged fans/JSOnline.) Make no mistake about it, this guy is one of the douche-y ones. He might be in the Brewers fan Hall of Douche next to Favre jersey guy. Listen, I am all for a good prank. I am all for fucking with Cubs fans. The thing is I am more the kind of guys who says "Hey, Cubs fan. They are giving away free Captain Morgan in section 227" and watching them run like someone threw apples at Forrest Gump. In fact, "my balls" and "other people" has never really been something I was interested in. I hate the flying squirrel, the goat, the bat wing, all of that. It's just not my style and while this dude's friends may have thought it was funny at the time, I can guaran-damn-tee you that about 15 seconds later they realized there was nowhere for their buddy to wash his hands. Then about 2 minutes after that they forgot all about his lack of hand washing and went back to giving him high fives. So, now this dbag is not only spreading his ball sweat amongst Cubs fans he is spreading it among his friends who are then spreading it throughout the stadium as they give high fives to strangers after a Corey Hart home run. Basically, I was at Opening Day and touched this guy's balls. The guy is wearing an old school jersey with a new logo hat, he obviously doesn't have the presence of mind to wash his freaking hands. Do I look like I want to touch his balls? In the original post I was less concerned with showing the video than letting my readers know that this idiot was not me. Clearly, I want nothing to do with the guy's balls.

The thing is, Cubs fan have enough problems at Miller Park. They have to wait in short lines to go to the bathroom, they can't chant "____ field sucks" at eachother, they can actually park at the stadium, it's harder to hit and/or molest girls in the bleachers, they can't drink Old Style and perhaps worst of all, most of their seats aren't obstructed. They don't need someone giving them a ball sweat handshake. More importantly, neither do we.

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